Hi There.... first of all i want you to know that im turning 18 this year, and here is my case.. when we were all 15 yrs old, that was a critical stage ryt ? ..finding the a place of who we really are. trying things out. so during my adjusting stage i kept searching for i am.. anxiety, confusion, peer pressure, low self confidence, issues trouble me...all of those happenings has reasons, so i researched ,researched, researched and i found out that the cuase was of my parents they didnt give me attention in my childhood years, and until now we dont communicate all they do is business business, what can ido they focus too much on thier business, i can get their attentin i cant help it! it tried all i can do, feel insecure, i have social phobias, low self-esteem issues..and the thing is dont have friends aims the goal that i have, i travel lonesomely... so ryt now i look back unto the things i done decided to do.. and i saw a major critical problem..so what am i gonna do?
2007-06-11 22:26:48 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
it's like traveling a road with a crippled leg! i mean im in comcomplete, i also have dreams, aspiration i want to reach it but i cant because i feel incomplete
2007-06-11 22:29:16 · update #1
I am 32 and have had the same troubles as you. I did a lot of stupid stuff when i was younger because i felt so lost. I look back and i understand why i did these things but i still have problems with anxiety. I am going for my 1st counselling session this afternoon because i need to learn how to deal with all these feelings. Maybe you could do the same? I wish i has sought help earlier as i feel better already for making the appointment. I have accepted that i am never going to have the family i want and have made a big effort to find good friends. Join some groups in subjects you enjoy so you can meet like minded people and gain the love and respect from them that you crave from your family. Accept that your parents are that way and you cant change them. Go and see your doctor so you can start some therapy. Good luck x
2007-06-11 22:35:12 · answer #1 · answered by British*Bird 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is unfair that your rejected by your parents. Seek love through other people. Find an lonely elderly neighbor or an unloved child and pour your love into them. In other words give to others what you want most.
Don't waste your pain! Use your painful past to help other hurting people. Seek help for your social phobia, because it is very treatable. At 18, you are still in a critical stage in that your concept of self is being formed.
As an 44 year old who has faced many fears and rejections, I can assure you that things can get better. My only regret is the years wasted worrying that people might not accept me. I agree with the person that said to go to college. You seem to know many psychological terms and concepts and are good at research. Therefore, you might want to major in psychology if not theology.
2007-06-11 22:48:57 · answer #2 · answered by metamorphosisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey pal... you're almost 18, well I'm 28 and I' m still searching 4 myself and 4 what's true... that's the beauty!
I used to have trouble with my dad when i was a teen, he didn't show me his love, and i used 2 b a rebel (still am)... but after growing up I knew 4 sure he loves me... he's just too negative to show it... our parent are people who make mistakes all the time... but we shouldn't make their mistakes become ours... it's difficult and simple at the same time... just don't get into the game of blaming your parent cos u'll end up blaming them 4 everything, even things they are not accountable 4... and u won't b happy either... so instead try to understand them and try to speak out... heart to heart communication can b the remedy!
u have dreams and things to do... great! and YOU CAN! I tell u from experience... just try yr best and give it time! i achieved some dreams in my life so far, things i never thought i would... friends will come, success will also...
u can try visiting the site other guys suggested, u may find something...
just remember that what you're going through is kinda normal in such age... no need for major worries if u try to keep positive...
i'll suggest these web sites:
http://www.mariamnour.com/
http://www.osho.com/
I hope i helped... Good luck...! :)
2007-06-11 23:14:33 · answer #3 · answered by basharho 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing you can do is not blame your parents. yes that is true, they should have made their child more of a priority. you can't use this as a crutch for why you don't react well in social situations, or have low self-esteem. regain your confidence, decide on your morals, values and goals and approach them with the utmost confidence. possibly speak with a therapist for extra guidence. the most important thing is not to repeat this cycle. when you enter parenthood make sure that your children never have to feel the insecurities that you felt as a young adolescent by providing them with attention and building their self-esteem.
hope this helps.
2007-06-11 22:38:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They say, a problem is a problem only untill you don't know its cause. Once you recognize its cause, its solution is not a problem anymore.
Now that you have recognized that your parents don't give you proper time and the attention that you deserved being their child, you should come up with a solution. There is no one who is going to solve your problem for you, but you yourself only!
***You will have to talk to your parents about this problem...***
Be respectful but definite in your demand. You can't reach anywhere by being disrespectful or arrogant. Be gentle so that you can mould their hearts. They will sure listen to you. After all, you are their next generation!
2007-06-11 22:44:27 · answer #5 · answered by Nadia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your parents cannot or will not support you, that is unlikely to change. You must form your own mutual support network out of friends! There are many clubs and support groups already - look in your local paper, call a church, search online.
http://www.volunteermatch.org
http://www.feelinggood.com
2007-06-11 22:33:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to love and respect yourself and others will see the light pouring from you. You need to have a peer group of friends and aquaintances to support you and act as a sounding board for your thoughts and ideas!
2007-06-11 22:37:01 · answer #7 · answered by Knowledgewise J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to see a therapist. Those things happen when children are neglected. Don't kill yourself trying to please your parents. Do what makes you happy. Your parents will not change, it is you that will need to make your own way through life now. Just get the help you need and concentrate on satisfying yourself.
2007-06-11 23:17:58 · answer #8 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get on with life and reach your goals by studying hard. Best Of Luck
2007-06-12 00:21:45 · answer #9 · answered by Y!@n$werer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you just need to try and keep calm and be yourself. if this is how your parents act towards you all the time then maybe you should try to talk to them about it. tell them that its something that is really important to you and im sure that they'll listen, they're your parents they love you no matter what.
just try not to worry so much and enjoy life
2007-06-11 22:32:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋