If circumtances come where you have no other option, do you sacrifice ur love (mutually) for your family?

Question

I am in such situation. Pls help me. My father is very much conservative and giving threat to commit suicide if i marry my gf. He is denying becoz she is having diabetes and she is lower in education than me. I love my family very much.
And as i know my fathers nature, he does what he says. Right now, i and her are mutually agreed to not to go ahead. She is very understanding gal.We are friend now.

Answer 1

i am a bit conservative so my opinion may be biased. but i think u have made a very good decision. u have a very good girlfriend also who is so understanding. Ur parents must be having in mind a happy and secure future for u so i would advise you to stick to your decision.

Answer 2

You should respect your parents, but no one has the right to threathen that they will commint sucide if not given thier way. Your father needs some help. What happens later when you may find love again and he does this are you going to keep giving up your happiness because dad has a threat. Parents want what is best for thier child but we ultimately cant make all thier desicsion in life even if we feel it may not be the best for them. If you are a adult you have to make your own descisions. and if you fail learn by mistakes. Please call for help for your father rather you stay with the women or not. AS for the girlfreind she is very understanding, plus I am sure she would never want to come between your family and you and have to have you live with a choice that could have caused your father to pass away. Sounds like a very nice girl. BEst of luck to you and please try calling metal health for help for your father, that may be a calling for help.

Answer 3

What kind of person are you?? A coward???
Your father is rejecting your girl friend because of lower education standard?? Having a higher education standard doesn’t say anything about intelligence of a person and how this person copes with life. I have seen high educated and decorated persons, who act like complete idiots in real life outside the academy.
What do you think? A higher education means that you are superior of others or that you will be more successful in life?
You could receive the highest education and it is worth nothing if you are not able to think for yourself and never learned to take your own decisions. There are many people who just had a basic education, but they are much more intelligent than others with university studies.
Anyway, I think that it’s really sad that there are still persons who reject others just because they think they are so much superior just because the fact they had the luck of having been born as son or daughter of rich parents who could afford it to send them to expensive universities.
In fact, you are not better than anybody else and until now you didn’t even proof if you could stand on your own feet, as you still have a deep dependence on your fathers wishes.
And what kind of person are you really?? Do you think you are playing fair? Your girl friend has diabetes, that’s nothing strange, many people suffer from that inconvenience. Diabetes is not a dangerous illness; people live a normal life and have a normal family. What did you study for if you even don’t know this?
What do you think she would do if you would find out that you suffer from some kind of strange allergies or illness??
Would she throw you away as if you were nothing more than rubbish or a second class human being??
I think not. So what does your high education is really good for? What did the teachers teach you? I reckon you missed ethic classes... You are a little selfish boy who thinks that he is better than another human being... well, yes the lady is very understanding, although you make her feel miserable and worthless....
Go ahead and let your daddy find an adequate wife for you. But you won’t be happy and I really hope, that you will remember each day of your life what you did to this girl and how you mistreated her and dropped her just as she were worth nothing...
May god give you a bad wife, one with a really bad temper and one who doesn’t give you any love at all.
Why? Because sincerely, snobs like you don’t deserve anything better...
You say you love your family. I am sure you do and on the other hand you depend like a slave on them.
You don’t take any decisions over your own life, a very comfortable attitude.
Don’t you feel ashamed for what you doing?
Don’t you feel dirty inside???
If not, you are of the same selfish and ignorant character as your father.
Commit suicide?? Only very queer people try to manipulate others with that... and that’s exactly what he is doing with you. He is manipulating you. Are you a man or a mouse???
He will commit suicide? Come on!! Even you don’t believe this…
Well, most probably you will be a mouse for the rest of your life.
May god protect your poor girl friend and send her somebody who acts like a man and really deserve her loving and caring.
Maybe she will be much better off without you and this selfish manipulating family of yours.
Don’t worry, we all have to pay for the pain we do to others on earth... so watch out!!!

Answer 4

What makes him dislike your girlfriend in the first place? Maybe he thought if you will marry this girl you will no longer be around your family. Maybe its a matter how you will explain to your father that you will never leave them. In fact, marrying your girlfriend means there will be an addition to the family. But basically, you already made the choice to follow your father. Its good your girlfriend is understanding. If you really love your gilrfriend and she is still willing to marry you soon then slowly maybe you can convince your father.

Answer 5

There is no replacement for ur family.....Its really nice that u have such good mutual understanding with ur girlfriend.Ur father sure has reason for worry...but if u still want to marry the same girl...guess u can be patient and wait till ur father agrees....but plss don't go against ur parents...its easy to think...I am old enough to be on my own and things like that....but trust me...there is no place like ur own home and noone like ur parents...I speak out of experience coz I am still facing the consequences:-(...I miss home really bad...been married for 9 yrs now and have not been home since then:-(

Answer 6

It sounds as tho u have already made ur decision..However, I must say that if your father is threatening suicide, he is having some mental problems. I can't believe he would say this to you to get his way. First of all if I were in love with this girl and I wanted to marry her than I would. I would just tell the father how childish he is being and that he needs to seek professional help and that you are going on with ur plans and are not gonna let him have this kind of control on you. Yes, I may put the wedding off for a bit, only long enough to see to it your dad is seeking help and than i would set the date. I understand you love ur family very much but what you are telling us is crazy..how could a father who loves his son tell him he will kill himself if he doesn't get his way? How dare him judge ur girlfriend because she has diabetes, or because her education is lower than yours..This has got to be the craziest crap I have ever heard in my life. I understand ur concern for ur father so since u love him so much than get him help!!! than if u really love ur girlfriend than don't put her thru this crap..u expect too much when u expect her to deal with this..If I were her I wouldn't marry you because you must be as sick as ur dad to fall for this in the first place and to even tell her about it!! I'm serious..I'm not usually this blunt, but this is ridiculous......

Answer 7

Hi.
I think this is very sad. Your father is (forgive me the sincerity)
blackmailing you. And if you accept this, you deserve to be without your love.
I feel very sorry for the girl, so sweet that she took the decision which would make you suffer less.
I am not Indian, maybe it is a matter of culture.
But I would never give away my love . Your father may think that she is not the right woman for you, but you are the one to decide!
Poor girl!

Answer 8

If u really love her y would u give her up. Ur father is being unreasonable in giving the reasons. Why dont u convince ur father. He knows ur fickle mind(he brought u up didnt he) and see his empty threat worked out. Show him how strong ur in love definitely that will turn him around. I really feel sorry for ur gf and not u.

Answer 9

Do you really think that your Father would put that kind of guilt on you, if he loves you he would let you be with the one you love, maybe get her involved with an education of some sort, just to let him know she wants to be a better person, for herself. He really is wrong, one day he will be gone & you will regreat what he is making you do, do you always let him control your life, you have to live it for yourself, no one else can live it for you, not even your Father. Ask a Dr. how to handle this, maybe he needs counceling.

Answer 10

If your father is trying to satisfy his ego, or veto his parenthood it is definitely not going to help you. If your really in love, dont bow before his pressure or emotional blackmail. Because, if it is a real love, it is going to drive you all your life at it. You cant escape the clutches of love. Maybe, you can forget everyone in life but not love. Love is embibed in you. If you are in real love, you definitely loose your self to it. There is no self in love. You cant stand in life for anybody without love. Without love you loose hope on life. You are definitely not going to do good to yourself. And that is what your father is trying to do you. Do good to you. So if you cant help yourself by doing good to you. The purpose of your fathers action and his desire for you to be good is lost. Try explain him this point and ask him to come down from his emotinal blackmail. Let him understand that he cannot do good to you by his present actions. Let him come into your boots and understand you better. Even if he does not understand, he is at fault. Always understand the priority of life. First comes self, wife, parents, brothers n sisters and then freinds etc. If you loose your self you cant do justice to any of the others in the list.

from,

Chandu

Answer 11

As of now you can devote your attention to your father, but if you get married someday, your new family is your priority, and your father should have to understand this situation, and his threat will never frighten you anymore, so just give him his one last chance !