Ive been married to my wife almost ten years we have 4 small children,she up and left one day, shes given me every excuse in the book why she left but the thing is i can admit to my wrongs but she played her part to.Anyway bring up things from the past doesn't help anything.I love my wife more than life itself and God is the only one I put before her.Shes been gone for almost a month now and she tells me she doesnt want me back but if I give her time she might change her mind,Ive told her I love her from head to toe that I worship her as my queen that she is my every thing and that my presious children need a father and not a part time dad they are everything to me and i cant see waking up or coming home from work and them not being there.It kills me, every second feels like a day ,a day a year ,a week an eternity so a whole month im toar up ,but she said the damage is done but let her think about it which i havent really been doin cause ive been calling her everyday.
2007-06-11 17:47:19 · 14 answers · asked by ELITE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My question is what is the average time of seperation is one month or two months to late toget my family back? to get my wife back? do I even have a chance?
2007-06-11 17:51:55 · update #1
I know that it is very hard but you just have to back off and give her some space. The more you pester her, the more she is going to resist. She may never come back, but unless you back away it's a certainty she won't. Give her a chance to miss you. Good luck and god bless.
2007-06-11 17:56:03 · answer #1 · answered by nanabanana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no magic time frame. Go see a shrink together, if she refuses then it's probably over and you should force yourself to move on. Go hang out with other singles, it helps to talk to others that have been through the same problems. You never know what can come out of it. It's miserable when relationships end but the important thing is that you stay strong for your kids.
From the sound of things either the marriage has been bad for a while or there was some event (your domestic violence or infidelity) or she has someone else. Don't waste too much time chasing someone who doesn't want you, it will only make you more miserable and the more you chase the more she'll run. If you don't contact her for a while and go away for weekends she'll start wondering what you're up to. If she asks say that you're probably up to the same thing as her. If she still loves you she will come back then because she will fear that someone else will take you away.Life goes on and there are many other nice women out there. Don't give up, don't give in, keep on truckin'
Good luck.
2007-06-12 01:22:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in a tough spot. And without going into any details- I can pretty much assure you that it's not going to be "over"- any time soon. The FIRST thing you need to do- is DO something AFTER you come home from work. Sitting around the house missing what WAS- is NOT going to make it any better. You need to find an interest, volunteer at something, find a couple friends to hang out with- whatever. The World "moves on" & so must YOU. This requires getting a NEW life- and beginning to pick up the "pieces" of the old. I can promise you that this will NOT be easy. But it IS necessary... Your World has changed- & now so must YOU. Hang-in-there, & good luck.
2007-06-12 01:02:22 · answer #3 · answered by Joseph, II 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for what you are going through. I have 4 young children as well and I can only imagine the pain you must be going through right now.
part of this sounds like she found somebody else, and is using you as a fall back. If it doesn't work with the new guy, then I'll come back..
back off a bit and let her be, once you stop chasing her, she may begin to miss it you.
If I were you and she does decide to divorce you, make sure you are finacialy secure and have a stable home enviroment, then fight for custody. the courts don't always award the children to the mother anymore.
My thoughts are with you.
2007-06-12 00:54:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may sound painful and all but if you love your wife so much, you will eventually let her go. I must admit that she is definitely missing out one of those greatest thing in life and thats the love of a family and may be she will realise it later but not now. You need to let her get on with her life and you also need to pick up the remainings and start your own life. It will be painful in the beginning but remember to look at the bright side of every situation and you will eventually get through life. May be later in life, you will find someone who will have the same feelings for you just like what you're currently experiencing.
2007-06-12 00:55:48 · answer #5 · answered by surfaholics 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh, honey, i can sit here and tell u all kinds of things, like i was married for 13 years and also have 4 kids. but i also left my husband for things that he did that i did not get to and would not do to someone that i love. we have been divorce for 4 years now and even before we was divorced he was saying he wanted me back. if he would have said it like u have about your wife i might have went back. but the hard truth is if u have told her all of this then iam sorry. she is not comeing back, not just because of u but because she has the freedom of no husband and can take time away from 4 kids and have time for her self. i know, i have been there. i think u need to pick yourself up, give yourself some more time to get over that she is not comeing back, and then start over. you sound like a sweet guy. you may not want to try to start over but u have to. no if's and's or but's about it! do it and feel good about yourself. hey at least u tried, not many men can say that. take care and i hope u find the peace u are looking for. Turtle
2007-06-12 01:03:28 · answer #6 · answered by turtle332007 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously there is more to this situation. I'd say wait and see what she does. If she files for a divorce then you know it's time to move on.
Stop calling her every day! Let her know that you still love her and want to continue your marriage. But you want to give her some time so you won't call her every day any longer.
I would also suggest counceling!
2007-06-12 01:04:53 · answer #7 · answered by purpleflowers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn man.... Wow.... I left my husband a year ago... No kids... only married 3 years and... it wasn't THAT bad.... Wish I could help but I'm the one who left not the leftee, if u know what I mean. You really can't tell if she'll come back around... Just make sure everything you say.... u mean it... Be honest. Don't let your pain and anger shadow over your love for her...
2007-06-12 00:52:28 · answer #8 · answered by Amazon Woman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i may not be the best person to answer, but just wait it out. i know youll be torn up, but to be a couple it cant just be one persons point of view, i know from experience. so either wait it out or try and get your children back. those are my only suggestions. hope they help.
and i am very sorry for what ever reason your wife left you for.
(atleast the time being)
2007-06-12 00:52:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing, i am sorry about your lost.
Why i am telling you sorry and not the sentence, you deserve it because i feel you have truly realised your mistake and seriously u are feeling doomed without your wife..
I hope your wife too realises this, as soon as possible.
Since you are calling her everyday, tell her in the next conversation that you prefer to meet up and explain to her some facts from your heart.. i HOPE she agrees to it..
All the best. (nEVER REPEAT THE MISTAKE AGAIN)
2007-06-12 00:55:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋