Anyone who was an adult when their parents divorced...?

Question

I know it must be much harder on children when parents split...

But what are some of the ways you dealt with this as an adult. I feel a lot of resentment toward one parent. Some advice would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

I was 25 when my parents divorced, and I pretty much just stayed out of it. Was pretty easy to do, since I had a 2 yr old and a newborn at the time, and lived 2000 miles away. Still, I listened when they needed someone to talk to, both of them, didn't take sides, or give advice, I really didn't know what to tell them anyway. I really wouldn't get too involved, divorce is a personal thing, and if you get too involved in it, it's going to drag you down too. All you can do is be there for your parents, and let them work out their own problems. As for feel ing resentment towards one parent, that's not good, but you can't help how you feel, try talking to them about it, but not confrontational, try to be understanding. If the feeling doesn't go away, then give yourself some space and time to get over it.

Answer 2

When my parents divorced, it was a relief to me. They fought ALL the time. Battles included throwing dishes, pots and pans, and even threatening with a butcher knife. They would split up, then get back together again. It was like they couldn't live with each other and couldn't live without each other. I was 22 at the time they finally divorced and could not remember a time when they were not fighting. Even after all that, I felt resentment. Both tried to put me in the middle. I refused. They both broke off relations with me and I haven't heard from either of them for 45 yrs.

Answer 3

I got divorced before my parents did, I was 23. I can't offer much in the way of advise though. I had moved on and was living my own life, they are both adults and there was no lover and no kids to keep them together.

It was for the best, the resentment will pass. They are still the same people, just now you get to know them differently.

Answer 4

I was 23 when mine divorced. The anger towards one parent is determined by your circumstances. Weirdest part about my parents were that they were always affectionate to each other and no fighting. It was my moms decision. She went from taking care of her sick mom to being married and taking care of her husband and then her kids.....I guess she just wanted to know what it felt like to just be her and take care of her. My feelings at first were anger and confusion and I felt bad for my dad but as time went on I knew I couldn't judge anyone without waking in their shoes. I just want everyone to be happy and whatever that takes for someone I am not to say. We ALL have done things we are not proud of and we all hope our family will stick by us no matter what decisions we make. That is unconditional love.

Answer 5

no your no longer. some greater suitable than others. existence isn't sincere. i dont like while human beings use it as a weigh down. i got here from a broken family individuals with abuse too and that i chosen to stay a healthful existence, as a solid occasion. no longer poor me.,,,blaming my blunders on my formative years. some mom and dad attempt very difficult for the youngster's sake hoping to steer away from the impossible. the two way, that's nonetheless a tragic for the poor young ones.

Answer 6

Even when you are a child, generally, it's normal to pick sides while the pain is still fresh.

The longer you have to evaluate, and the more time they have to evaluate, the more it will make sense.

Try to be as detached from their issues as you can, because it really is between them. You will learn more about life, love, and relationships if you can avoid making either of them the villian.

I'm sorry you are experiencing this... heal quickly.