2007-06-11 15:50:16 · 22 answers · asked by bimshire 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Instead of fighting over money matters... try sitting down and calmly discussing the issue. In a marriage, there are a lot of challenges to face... and unfortunately... money can be one of the challenges but the two of you should be able to overcome that together by communicating properly. A marriage is a lot of give and take... compromising... and realizing that you guys have invested 10yrs into this marriage together for a reason. Respect for one another's opinion is also important... I think the answer to improving your marriage is within both of your hearts... you two still love each other... so why not take time out to discuss the issues in hopes to resolve them and continue to invest love... time... and patience along with everything else that continues to build a strong foundation to an enduring and unconditional marriage. Good Luck.
2007-06-11 16:06:30 · answer #1 · answered by Candy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need a good dose of communication, and fighting isn't communication.
I think it's so adolescent and juvenile and naive when people just think that sex is the answer to everything. Perhaps it is to them, because they aren't getting it or get very little, but if you've been married for ten years you've already had sex several thousand times with the same person, so sex isn't the answer.
What you need is to be able to sit down and talk, about money, when you are not screaming at each other. Usually there is an issue of one person spending too much, feeling used, not making enough, or whatever. You maybe need some marital counseling, or maybe even different, some financial counseling. Just take it slow, talk about things before they become issues, and get some help. You can't do this alone. I've been there, and trust me, a third neutral party can help a lot.
2007-06-11 22:55:09 · answer #2 · answered by John B 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd say you need a financial counselor before you need a marriage counselor. Get your finances in order. Get a plan. Something you can both adhere to and work towards. Paying off your bills together with one main goal in mind is a great way to feel closer...honestly...I just saw it on Oprah!! But you need a game plan. Great sex, a mini-vacation, taking out the garbage, spending more time together...is going to mean SQUAT if you still have money issues hanging over your heads. Get a financial counselor. Someone who can help you get a handle on your money matters. Which will make you both feel at ease and the relationship will get easier, as well.
2007-06-11 23:00:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see that some people are recommending a marriage counselor, but I'd recommend a Finance councelor, make headways towards your money problem, then go for a marriage councelor if you still need one. While it's true that your fights over money may have roots in other things, but I'm pretty sure you'll fight a lot less if you can solve your money problems.
2007-06-11 22:57:20 · answer #4 · answered by justdennis 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You tackle the money problem first and other possible underlying issues later.
Finance is simple at its core. Money in and money out. Either you increase money in or decrease money out. Credit card is not money in but a sink hole that takes a lot of money out to recover. You are most likely in big debts and no savings. Don't ever go for quick loans or debt services that want you to pay big fees.
Cut up the credit cards. Always works.
2007-06-11 22:59:05 · answer #5 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find outside help or seperate your bank accounts. Money is always a hard thing for couples to deal with especially if there isn't enough around. If you can't work it out yourselves get counseling both marriage and financial. There are a lot of free financial/budget programs out there.
2007-06-11 22:55:45 · answer #6 · answered by blacksun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you should look at yourself and find out what it is YOU are doing to cause the fight. Stop blaming each other.
I would recommend a marriage seminar away from home.
My wife and I did the weekend to remember. I highly recommend it. Its a Christian thing but you do not need to be a Christian to do it.
2007-06-11 23:02:10 · answer #7 · answered by TOMCTOM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fighting over money?
1. You have tons of money? You could invest some, like real estate investment.
2. Not enough to spend of? Then you work harder even more than you have. Work both of you and less spend. She can have her money from her work and you can have your money from your jobs? And you will be honeymooning anywhere you want. Knows your budget...
2007-06-11 23:02:40 · answer #8 · answered by Seph2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you should be so focused on how many years you have been together. Money can be a factor but that should not be the basis of your relationship. There are two sources I think would help you.
Website: SoSuave.com
Read: Rich Dad, Poor Dad
2007-06-11 22:54:21 · answer #9 · answered by Gia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would seriously suggest counceling. A marriage councelor and/or a finacial councelor. See if you can get your spouse to agree to the financial councelor... An agreed upon budget is always best. I sure hope things work out.
2007-06-11 22:57:30 · answer #10 · answered by purpleflowers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋