I work full time at a good job w/ good pay, excellent benefits, paid insurance (life and health), retirement plans, etc etc. I go to PSU for my BSN. I am engaged to a computer programmer. We are working to build r nestegg (im 21 hes 28) We just put a bid in on an apartment building. We were discussing buying a house. Its a 4 bdrm 2 bath (we want a family someday) we decided if we get the apartment building we wont go after the house right now. Hes european and has an apartment and car kept there for when we visit. (After were married we plan to spend alot of holidays there eventually hoping to buy a home there). I feel lucky and im happy. I don't thro these things in ppls faces bc i no i could lose all of it very quickly. (it isnt y i marry him either) i work very hard. he works very hard. everyone is happy for us except my one friend. when seh married she told me she was w/ him bc he had some money and credit. she has a good life. whats the problem? is it bc mine isnt just based on $?
2007-06-11 15:39:48 · 8 answers · asked by Jen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've had the same problem. This friend is no friend.
2007-06-11 15:47:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sucks, but people who are finally putting it together have this annoying habit of being offensive, not by anything they do or say, but just because they have turned a corner and are going a different direction from their friends, and it makes their friends really uncomfortable. Just by being successful you are a threat and an example of their failures. As they say, and this is putting an entirely new spin on the saying "actions speak louder than words". And right now, your actions are screaming at your friends.
Now, that was the good news. I hate to bring this up, but I've seen it soooo many times. Even though YOU don't think you are throwing into people's faces, you just might be doing that. I have seen person after person who changes and doesn't even realize how they suddenly are offending and demeaning the people who used to be their friends. It's not right and they don't even know it is happening.
As in all case, talk to your friends, come down to earth, and see what's going on in their heads. If they are good friends you can talk with them. If they are good friends then they will share and you will reach a new understanding. If you cannot talk to them or they will not share, then they really aren't that good of a friend, they are merely an acquittance who walked the same path as you, and now your paths have changed.
2007-06-11 22:42:45 · answer #2 · answered by John B 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If I am understanding you correctly, your friend is married and she married for money. If this is the case and she sees that you are happy in your relationship she also sees that you both have money. It sounds like she is extremely unhappy and she is showing you in a negative way. I would suggest talking to her about what is going on with her. Ask her how she is doing, how her marriage is going. Perhaps you can let her know that her being unhappy about your pending nuptials is very upsetting to you. Maybe if you talk to her in a comfortable atmosphere she will be receptive and maybe you both can work things out.
2007-06-11 22:46:58 · answer #3 · answered by archaeologygrl2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good friends are not jealous of each other. its the ole crabs in a bucket thing when one crab tries to get out the others try to pull it back down. shes not really a good friend if she is jealous. feeling youre making a mistake is far different than being jealous so are you sure you are reading it correctly?
2007-06-11 22:44:48 · answer #4 · answered by ronk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You nailed it on the head. Your friend is jealous of you. It's not something you can fix. You're happy and she isn't-that's it. Be prepared to lose a friend.
2007-06-11 22:44:20 · answer #5 · answered by Logicalchaos 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She's obviously very materialistic, and won't be happy with her marriage because it's lacking any emotional value to her. She sees that you two have it all and are earning what you are building together...forget her problem, just be happy with your life. Let her be miserable with hers...
2007-06-11 22:43:42 · answer #6 · answered by Luvitall 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Talk to them about how you feel and how it affects you and if they continue to be that way you don't have a real friend.
2007-06-11 22:47:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop worrying about other people. Yes, sounds simple, but it's the truth. People worry about people worrying about people worrying about... when do we say Stop?
2007-06-11 22:43:23 · answer #8 · answered by phishycoding 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋