can some one proof read my essay and help me out make it good?

Question

If anybody had a delicious passion for beans, it had to be Karla.


Her favorite though was baked beans. Unfortunately, she always


had a very embarrassing reaction to these beans.


Even so, she had them every day in this Diner. One special


birthday at the Diner, Karla met Julio, the love of her life. They


married and Karla thought to herself “Such a sweet gentleman


would never carry this on.” So she made a tough choice


and gave up beans. A year later, she was driving and her car broke


down. So she called Julio, “I’m going to be a little late for dinner


Ok?” Julio responded “That’s fine; I have a surprise for you!”


Karla walked as fast as she could back home, only to pass by the


Diner to smell those delicious beans. She stopped in to order three


plates of beans. When she left the Diner, she left behind ill effects


of the beans. Finally arriving at her house, her husband came


and blindfolded her and lead her to the kitchen table. “What are


you doing?” Karla asked. “It’s a surprise, sit down and no


peeking!” said Julio. Just as he was about to unblind her, the


phone rang. “I’ll get it, you stay and don’t peek!” Julio explained


and left the room. Karla saw that this was her only chance, she


shifted her weight to one leg and let it all out. It was not only


loud, it smelled really, really gross. Then she shifted


onto her other but cheek and let out three more. She took her


napkin and fanned the car vigorousity. Keeping her ears tuned to



he conversation of her husband on the phone in the other room.


She went on like this for about ten minutes. When she heard Julio


hang up the phone, she stopped, folded the napkin and put it in her


lap. Karla was satisfied with herself and looked like a picture of


innocence. Julio came into the room, “Sorry sweetie for taking so


long. Julio apologized. He took off the blindfold and was


surprised!!! There were about twelve guests sitting at her table to


wish her a “Happy Birthday”

Answer 1

This does not fit the criteria for an essay. And no amount of proofreading is going to make it good.

Answer 2

ahah. i edited the whole thing and then i came to last part. ahah
If anybody had a delicious passion for beans, it had to be Karla. She had tasted every choice, from lima beans to jelly beans; despite the churning differences in each that folded over her mouth, she possessed a greater favorite: baked beans. However, she always kept secret her very embarrassing reaction to these beans. None-the-less, she refused to halt to her habits. Everyday she spent a meal in this Diner eating her baked beans. One special birthday at the Diner, Karla met Julio, the love of her life. They married and Karla thought to herself, “Such a sweet gentleman would never carry this on.” So she made a tough choice. The beans had to go. A year later, she was driving and her car broke
down. So she called Julio, “I’m going to be a little late for dinner, Ok?” Julio responded “That’s fine; I have a surprise for you!” Karla walked as fast as she could back home, only to pass by the
abandoned Diner, and with one trace of the baked bean aroma, she had to stop. Ordering three
plates of beans, she left the Diner with ill effects of the beans. Finally trotting up her doorsteps, her husband came out the front door. Blindfolded her and leading her to the kitchen table, she asked, “What are you doing?” “It’s a surprise, sit down and no peeking!” said Julio. Just as he was about to take the fold off, the phone rang. “I’ll get it, you stay and don’t peek!” Julio explained. He left the room. Karla saw that this was her only chance, she shifted her weight to one leg and let it all out. It was not only loud, it smelled really, really gross. Then she shifted onto her other butt cheek and let out three more. She took her napkin and fanned the room vigorously. Keeping her ears cautiously tuned to the conversation of her husband on the phone in the other room, she continued, safely or so she though, for about ten minutes. When she heard Julio hang up the phone, she stopped, folded the napkin and put it in her lap. Karla was satisfied with herself and her stomach and looked like a picture of innocence. Julio came into the room, “Sorry sweetie for taking so long. Julio apologized. He took off the blindfold and boy, was she surprised! Seating it front of her were about twelve guests, holding their noses to wish her a “Happy Birthday”.

Answer 3

i dont know what grade your in but from an high school stand point you dont have proper sentences... figure an essay should have a min. 4 parts.. the first paragraph should be about what your essay is about... the second and so on should suppot that the last should conclude the reason for the essay and end the whole thing... each paragraph should have atleast 4 sentences.. if you need help email me

Answer 4

on the last sentence take away the quotations away from Happy Birthday

Ps the story is funny

Answer 5

That was great. You might want to feed it through Microsoft Word though.

Answer 6

It's funny, but its not an essay, and its not YOURS. I read this as a joke on funny.com, just with different names.

Answer 7

That's not your essay...it's an old joke.

Answer 8

well it's good but it is not your essay.it's also funny

Answer 9

OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!