Can we get our connection back?

Question

To me have a connection and attraction with the person you are with is so important.
I have been with my husband for 7 years and we have been seperated for 8 months, and during that time I fell in love with another man. I have decided to give it another go with my husband as I did'nt want to walk away and feel like I did'nt give it a good go.
I'm currently grieving my old love, but there was so much about being with him that was wrong. My husband and I have in my eyes not had a connection for many years, and actually did'nt want to have sex with him, I would put it off and just not ever be into it. He actually said that its like I find it a chore doing it with him, which explained it exactly.
Everything else in our relationship is perfect but the intimacy and connection that has been lost over the years. Can we get it back, and will my old love ever become a distant memory.

I have told my husband about my ex boyfriend and said to him that I had to be honest and lie and I would spend the rest of my life making up for my mistake. He said that he forgives me, that I just need to forgive myself and just take one day at a time, take it slow, get back to being close

Answer 1

This sucks, but you are going to have to tell your husband about your boyfriend. Until you are honest with him you will never feel that he loves YOU, only that he loves the bits of you that you let him see.

Answer 2

You can get it back if you want it back. But be true to yourself, is this really something that you want or are you doing this to try to do what is "right"? What is right is not always what is best. Do what is in your heart so that you dont hurt your husband even more in the long run. Hope I helped.

My prayers are with you.

Answer 3

Only if you let go of your ex completely will you have a chance of a connection with your husband. Other wise you will be comparing them and that is just not fair.