Some mothers are abusive yet we often jump to protect the institution of motherhood as being well-intentioned. What are your thoughts?
2007-06-11 12:58:13 · 11 answers · asked by apples 3 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Unfortunately, I think many men and women become parents because that's what you do when you grow up: you get a job, get a partner, have kids. There are lots of great parents out there, and there are lots of parents who should have stayed childless: the mentally ill, the violent, the narcissistic, and the sexual predators.
I wish both motherhood and fatherhood were not glorified by our society. Instead, both children and young adults should be taught the skills they need to be a good parent, and should be made aware of the emotional maturity needed to be good parents. Not all of us are cut out to be parents.
2007-06-11 13:58:18 · answer #1 · answered by edith clarke 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I was abused by my mother, and it has affected me deeply. However, I don't think that most mothers are like this. The details of my childhood are a little much to share here, but they have not entirely harmed my outlook on motherhood as a whole. I am afraid to have kids, though. What if I become my mother?
My mother leaned on me for support with very adult problems when I was a child. I think it all depends on the person. However, motherhood is a full time job, the nature of which I think would make most men run in fear.
2007-06-12 03:03:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Are you asking about motherhood as a concept - or are you asking about the effects of abusive individual mothers?
These are two very different questions.
Yes, there are abusive mothers (and fathers and grandparents, aunts and uncles...) and I don't intend to minimize the awful effects they have on the children in their lives.
Motherhood as an ideal IS sacred. The reproductive process is mysterious and miraculous. The biological drive to nurture a newborn is a beautiful and functional thing.
Perhaps in recovering from being abused, if a person acknowledges the life-giving force that exists in one's own mother, forgiveness and healing come more easily. If you were to deny the life-giving force your mother possesses, it would be the same as denying very existence.
2007-06-11 20:16:34 · answer #3 · answered by not yet 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋
A mother is abusive only because her own mother abused her, and so the vicious cycle will continue until someone in some generation becomes aware and breaks that cycle.
Motherhood is sacred because I believe God has sent mothers to protect, mould, love the individuals to become future citizens of the world. If the upbring is dysfunctional, then you will have the Hitlers of this world.
It comes down to the hand that rocks the cradle.
Think about your own life too and see if you can break any dysfunctional cycle and make the future for your kids better world to live in.
2007-06-11 23:15:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
From the moment of birth babies need constant care for years to even survive, and most of the times it is mothers who provide that care. Unfortunately most of us do not remember that stage of our life and do not come to realize the dedication that our mothers have shown to us until we have children of our own. There are cases where mothers abuse their children, and they receive a lot of publicity because they are rare to the point of being abnormal. Since mothers are not perfect there are inevitable conflicts that arise with their children as they grow up, but if you are alive and healthy you should assume you mother loves you and is well intentioned.
2007-06-11 20:16:59 · answer #5 · answered by meg 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Please, please...the sappy worship of motherhood here is revolting. Mothers are fallible humans just like fathers. There is no special life force that mothers have that fathers lack. Both are indispensable in reproduction. Since even the lowest animals nurture and defend their young, it is ridiculous to assume there is some magical thing going on when a human mother does the same thing. Instead of stroking your own ego by assuming that you are endowed with a wonderful specialness because you can reproduce, why not take a less self-centered view of your role in your child's life?
2007-06-11 22:52:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
Motherhood is a mixed bag.
I love my children with a love like no other, but they also have tried my patience, my sanity and my finances to the nth degree.
Motherhood is presented so sanctimoniously in literature because if the truth were told, no one would give birth.
Good luck
Edit: Jasumi--she doesn't have to try.
Insanity is a FACT in her case.
2007-06-11 20:16:41 · answer #7 · answered by Croa 6 · 6⤊ 2⤋
My dughter said I sent her double and mixed messages as I told her one thing and did another,,,I did all the petty work around the house and cooking etc etc and told her not to do that but to become a ceo.
2007-06-11 20:06:13 · answer #8 · answered by Gypsy Gal 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
No; at times something as sacred as motherhood is not at all as sacred as we make it out to be. i.e I once met a guy who was uncomfortable with females because his mom would force him to **** her ***** everynight so that she could sleep.
Enough said I think.
2007-06-11 20:11:06 · answer #9 · answered by Laela (Layla) 6 · 2⤊ 4⤋
a mother can be real witch as well as any man or woman. they ripe each other apart at PTA meetings & says crap about somebody's junior not being as smart as their little s.o.b.s. oh, note to self...call mommy tonite, need more $ for a tix to florida. can't miss the wet t-shirt contest X-)
2007-06-11 20:09:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋