ok, my husband and I have been together for nearly 7 years. we have been seperated for 8 months, and before we seperated he was working overseas for 6 months. During our whole relationship he has always worked away, and I have always been fine with it, When he came back from being overseas for 6 months I felt we were just worlds apart and just distant, it became apparent to me that we had no connection left and I just really did'nt find him not only sexually attractive but also was'nt connected to him emotionally at all.
Here comes the bad part. I meet somebody else, he is eight years younger than me, and we just naturally clicked, we fitted, our love and bond was so strong, and for the last 6 months I have had a relationship with him, but have always questioned whether I should really give my husband another chance and if we could ever get a bond and connection up as close as what I have with the man I'm so in love with now.I feel so connected to him but confused all as to what to do
2007-06-11 12:56:27 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The question is, can you restore not only your marriage, but the feelings you have for your husband, and also break up with your new love? You must be aware how difficult a situation you have put yourself in.
You obviously must feel some level of guilt about the new relationship as well, and some level of obligation to your marriage vows, if not your husband.
Ask, "What course will I be most likely to be pleased about five years from now?" Marriages restored from affairs are sometimes much better than prior to the affair.
I'd suggest you come clean totally with your husband. You need to do that anyway to hold your head high. If he's not willing to try to restore the relationship, your course is clear. If he's willing to try amidst the pain and hurt, you may in fact discover a new level of intimacy if you are ready to put in the work with a marital therapist -- I'd suggest a minimum of ten sessions, as this usually produces the best chance at healing and recovery.
Return to the high road rather than defaulting to the low road and you will retain a sense of dignity and self-respect.
2007-06-11 16:07:09 · answer #1 · answered by waldguy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't consider meeting someone else the bad part, if your feelings are that strong toward this new person, then that is the good part. You obviously were losing interest or else you really wouldn't have "clicked" so much with this new guy.
If I were you, I would get out of the relationship with your husband as gently as possible (there could be drama if he finds out about the new guy), just tell him you don't feel the passion toward him anymore and passion is an important aspect of a relationship.
There are going to be hurt feelings and it will be hard, but all in all, your happiness is what matters. Don't live your life worrying about giving second chances and what to do. If you are in love with someone else, you can't just ignore it and go back to what you and your husband had anyway, you will always wonder.
Good luck with your decision, I wish you the best.
2007-06-11 13:05:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you are holding on to someone else you are not really giving your husband a real chance, take it from someone that has lived this. Sounds to me like you already have a foot out the door. If you are serious about trying to work things out with your husband you must end the relationship with this other man, only then will you truly focus on your husband and relationship.
Don't through away something that you already know for something that you don't. This new relationship seems exciting and new, but isn't that the same way your relationship started with your husband? Talk to your husband, let him know how you feel and try to fix things with him. I wish you good luck with your decision!
2007-06-11 13:17:50 · answer #3 · answered by Archangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you cheated which is wrong. Second if he always did this why did you lie to yourself and think you could deal with it. Third remember your vows better or worse people these days live by their emotions and that why this world is a wreak. You are weak sorry to say and you have a lot of excuses to do your dirt. May God help your mind
2007-06-11 13:11:05 · answer #4 · answered by tellthetruth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make a decision. If you do not feel like you can be happy with your husband and you are in love with someone else then you need to move on. Don't try to live up to a wife stereotype. If you are not happy, you are not happy. You can not sacrifice your life for wedding vows. My advice is slightly different however if children are involved. Because I would sacrifice my happiness for my children.
2007-06-11 13:05:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you already made up your mind, your husband is on the back burner. really if your in love with another person break it off, why continue to hurt your self and your husband and the boyfriend.
end it and move on
2007-06-11 13:01:57 · answer #6 · answered by simmon_1999 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say let your husband go.
You are not living together and already living separate lives.
Just let him go and start your life with this other guy on a clean slate.
2007-06-11 13:20:41 · answer #7 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband deserves someone better than you.
2007-06-11 13:04:48 · answer #8 · answered by p00756 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your husband about the affair so he can dump you.
2007-06-11 15:11:50 · answer #9 · answered by Dr. Bling 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
American boys vs Canadian boys.. Girls?
2015-11-26 20:49:31 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋