I love my wife dearly! However, whenever I even touch her breasts, she says they hurt, and pushes me away. If I try to gently rub her lower region, she pushes me away sometimes, saying I am too rough, but I cannot be any softer. I just don't know what to do, I have talked to her, and she just seem to think I need to be gentler, but I am being as gentle as I can, and I happen to like rough, and wild sex, so even though our sex is great ( no sex is bad) It isn't what I desire I guess. Looking for sex elsewhere is NOT an option, I am not like that, I am faithful, I just would like some of my desires met. Am I wrong for asking this? I just kinda feel let down in the sex department sometimes you know? The only thing we do is just the old in out in out, and maybe sometimes I can orally please her, yet I rarely ever get orally pleased myself. I think about her before myself, and I try to please her, but can't I have needs also, and how do I go about it? Thanks everyone
2007-06-11 11:22:44 · 25 answers · asked by ironman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have you told her this?
2007-06-11 11:27:11 · answer #1 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First of all you should have known this before you got married to her to know that she isn't into wild and rough sex. You two might can compromise but most women will not and do not like rough and wild sex. If you think you're missing something then you shouldn't have gotten married. When you got married; you should not feel that you're missing something especially when it comes to your wife. Your wife should be the only thing you been needing and wanting and nothing more.
All I can say is talk to her and maybe something will spark between you two but don't make her feel uncomfortable when having sex. Most women don't give oral sex all because we think it is so disgusting to put our mouth where it don't belong. Everyone is different and you have to know that there are games or even pornos that helps sometimes but not all the times. Just talk to her and see what she say.
2007-06-11 11:30:35 · answer #2 · answered by deniseywalker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read your question and just wanted to let you know how wonderful it was to see a man say he wouldn't look anywhere else. But that can change if she keeps this up,,,,I know because I did that with my husband and he did ended up cheating on me....That can be very hurtful so, to avoid all of that, by chance if you both have a new addition to the family that could be causing her to change her mind about sex it did for me....If so she maybe going threw an after birth life changing experience. Life changes after having children and what it does change in some women is the sex drive goes into hibernation for a while until something wakes it up. If that is not the case it sounds like she maybe pulling away from the relationship I hope not you sound like a wonderful man. You both need to talk and find out what is the real issue because breast touching and rough sex is sooooo awesome! Or maybe she could be pregnant and is totally terrified to say that she is. Because when you are pregnant you have tender breast and if you are feeling scared sex is the last thing on a women's mind! So what ever you do just communicate with her about what you are feeling because sometimes us women don't realize we are hurting the man we love with all our hearts.....I wish you happiness and lots of awesome love in your marriage! God Bless!
2007-06-11 11:42:19 · answer #3 · answered by Sexy 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's called compromise: you need to be more gentle, and she needs to try to satisfy you more. Yes, there are times when making love is good when it's soft and gentle. And then there are those moments when you'll both want it harder, quicker, rougher.
Yes, it's true that, depending on the time of the month, her breasts may be sensitive, and the lower region has tons of nerve endings, so that is sensitive too. When she tells you you're too rough, try be more gentle until you get to the level that she can tolerate or appreciate.
And if you want to be satisfied orally, and she isn't offering, then you need to let her know you'd like that, and ask her to do that for you. Fair is fair, after all you are orally satisfying her.
With patience, compromise, communication, and trial and error, I think you two will be able to reach a level of satisfaction and pleasure in your sex lives.
2007-06-11 11:40:48 · answer #4 · answered by Tweety 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Was this an issue you discussed before you got married?
It sounds like the "rough sex" is DEFINITELY out! Your wife's body sounds far too sensitive for this style.
Maybe you should concentrate your efforts more on the "wild" sex?
Tell her what some of your fantasies are and find out what ones she may be comfortable doing. If she cannot compromise on anything, then you have a serious problem!
If your spouse is unwilling to make any effort to please you then that is a serious relationship issue! Sex is definitely not the centerpoint of a marriage but it is an important part. The fact that you are on here looking for advice tells me this really is a big deal to you.
2007-06-11 11:31:00 · answer #5 · answered by Matt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just sit her down and have a nice talk with her and let her know what you just wrote. Explain that maybe she can be a little rough sometimes. There needs to be compromising in a marriage. She needs to give in once in a while and think about your needs not just her own. Just ask her nicely if she can do this for you it is important to you and is something you need.
2007-06-11 11:27:42 · answer #6 · answered by Shanny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It may sound stupid, but ignore her sexually. Stop going to bed with her. Stay up late and watch a movie or play a game or just cruise the Internet for what ever, but not sex. Eventually she will want you to start something and then it will be you who calls the shots in regard to how rough or not it will be.
FYI, once you get what you want go back to ignoring her. Remember you only had sex with her because she begged you. You owe her nothing. In fact she owes you one.
Do not romance her or get her anything. If she isn't getting distracted by getting something new the more time she can focus on trying to get you get her what she wants. Women think men are simple creature and will try and use sex to motivate us. So let her try an motivate you.
2007-06-11 11:42:48 · answer #7 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Talk her into going to a nice sex shop and buy some toys. If you are in the Kansas City area, go to Priscilla's Sex Shop. You can buy books for fun things to try as well as toys. Maybe you can both meet "in the middle" on this subject. You won't get it as rough as you want, and she won't get it as gentle as she wants it. Good luck. (Too bad you didn't know this before you got married!!! Sounds kind of uncompatible!)
2007-06-11 11:32:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Woman do not jump into new things usually. Get some books, light candles, have her take a bubble bath. Play music to get her in the mood. I do not understand woman like this, but some professionals say that it works. I feel for you, unfortunately it is going to take a lot more work on your part to i8ntroduce things that would make sex better for you.
2007-06-11 11:29:50 · answer #9 · answered by Ivy_Woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start with a warm oil massage and oil her up really well. I also like a baby powder rub down. The tenderness arouses me and makes me feel free to enjoy myself without pressure. We usually end up making pretty steamy love. Ultimately, it sounds more like a communication issue. It is important she understand your needs and try to meet them. It just ain't enough for her to do her duty and get it over with, ya know? Sex and money are the two biggest marriage busters...
2007-06-11 11:30:17 · answer #10 · answered by smecky809042003 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off good for you for not looking elsewhere. Is your wife opposed to watching videos? If so then watch them together and watch what turns her on. Has her libido changed recently? Perhaps a check up is in order. Try to get her to open up to some of her fantasies. They may have nothing to do with sex. Maybe her sexual turn on is you in some sexy brief making her breakfast in bed. Different things turn woman on.
Do not ever consider the swinging scene. The so called open marriages are a farce. It ruined my marriage. He was the only one who benefited.
Good luck and stay faithful.
2007-06-11 11:28:20 · answer #11 · answered by lady 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋