Friendship help wanted?

Question

I dont know what my problem is. i cant stand my friends. lately...actually, for awhile now, i've felt that they dont really care about ME. all they ever do is talk about themselves. when i try to tell them my problems, they brush me off. If i like a guy, they call be paranoid and go on about themselves and their bf. then, when i needed my friend most (something happened in my family) i tried to call them, left them several texts, and they have yet to ask what was wrong. i cant talk to anyone about it but my mom! i've been super depresed and my friends dont know. whenever i see them, i put a smile on and act like a happy, carefree blonde. my mom's starting to worry about me, and i dont know what to do. is it time to call it quits, and get new friends? How do i make new friends? How do i let them know? I just want a true friend...

wow. i didnt expect soo many ppl to reply to me, esp. this quickly! thank u sooooooo much for showing that u care. God bless each and every one of u.

Answer 1

aww- im sory that you've been going through so much honey- i wish you the best- your trials come to make you strong & thats great that you can talk to your mom. well if they are being so inconsiderate to the point that its truly bothering you- then yes, cut them off, but not b4 u let them know what you ve been thinking about & how they have been making you feel- stop hiding ur feelings behind a smile- perhaps that will help them to be more concerned about whats going on with you. thy may think that you arent serious- like the lil boy that cyed wolf- i mean u urgently call & text them but when they see you there is nothing wrong.. open up & express your true feelings & if they dont change then let them go- it will be their loss.

Answer 2

Okay, first of all, do not fake your feelings. You should tell your "friends" how you truly feel. And be firm. Do not let them walk all over you. Sure, it may be hard, but it would make you feel better to take some control. Raise your voice if you have to and tell them what you have been feeling lately.

But your friends sound like they care sooo much about themselves that they don't notice that you are feeling so bad about yourself. They are not being true friends.

Also, what worked for me, was to ask my mom for a therapist. They always give the best advice and they always listen to your problems. It's their job. Plus, they don't just listen. They give you feedback on what you should do, and it truly does work.

About the making new friends thing, it isn't that hard, even if you are shy. What you do is start a new after-school activity that you love, so the people there would love it too, and there you go! Already, something you have in common. <3 Don't dread on the things that are "unfixable". Just think hard and keep on trying and even if it seems hard, you will get through it. I know it. Even if when I was as sad as you were (I was in a depressed stage too) and even if you think that you'll NEVER get through it, you will, don't worry. <3

Answer 3

I'm so sorry! I've been there. I cut my friends loose and invested all my energy in making new friends. The first group of girls came around about six months later and I told them what I expected from my friends. They also had things happen in their lives during that time that made them grow up a little. Things are great now and we all know what the expectations are. Plus I have a great new group of friends that are totally seperate from the others so I never have to feel that way again.
I don't have a hard time making friends, so I guess all you can do is approach people that seem like people you want to spend time with, start a conversation and be yourself without trying too hard. It should just happen.
I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 4

Everyone gets to a point in there life when they get fed up with they're friends - maybe you're maturing faster than them. If they're true friends then you should be able to sit one down and make them listen - it's always easier to get someones attention if you're the only one for them to focus on.
If that doesn't work you can always use sites like these to meet people - you can never have enough friends and just cause you don't know what they look like doesn't mean they can't help - whilst saying that obviously keep your guard up as there are a lot of wierd people on the web.

Answer 5

I know exactly how you feel.
I was in that situation with a few of my friends not too long ago.

Firstly, meet some new people. Join a new club, group, try a new sport, or a new team of some type, get to know some new people somehow, or maybe get to know some old friends that you grew apart from.
Start spending time more time with them, and less with your so-called "friends." If your old friends really care, they'll talk to you about it, and if they don't (which to me it honestly seems like they don't, no offense), then their feelings won't get hurt and they can go on living their self-centered lives and they'll be just fine talking about themselves and their feelings won't really be hurt.

Answer 6

I tend to find my self in the same position. What I often wonder is if I don't show them the interest and compassion about their problems as I would like them to show me. Maybe if you find yourself talking about yourself a lot, or only about your problems that may be why you are getting that in return. I know that I tend to be self-reflective when I have an issue with the people around me. If you are completely caring and interested in their lives and problems and they are still like this, then maybe it would be time to gravitate towards a friendships that is more give and take instead of just take. Sorry girl!

Answer 7

well first of all, i think ur doing the right thing by looking for new friends! u dont even have to tell them anything, therll get the hint after a while. you can make new friends by opening urself to new people. maybe you both like to play soccer, or love pizza! find someone with common interests and ask them out (not lik a date). say "wanna go to the movies tonight" or sumthing like that. and then, soon enough ull find out who ur true friends are...and u wont have this problem anymore!

Answer 8

sometimes you just need some alone time...its difficult when friends seem like they're always too busy or just always so consumed in their own lives and 'drama' to even care about you.. if you've tried talking to them one on one and they're still so into themselves then just let it go and find new people to hang out with...i find that its better to take on a reciprocative attitude.. if they dont care about you then you shouldnt care about them..

ive found that it can be harder when you always hang out with the same click.. and see the same people every single day..cuz you just get sick of them.. if thats the case then just call some other people you know and start hanging out with them.. dont always depend on those same people..cuz sooner or later other people will let you down

Answer 9

well a true friend would never do all those things. i think you should go on looking for new friends because they are to ignorant to notice how rude they are. if you want a true friend be yourself and dust off the past. talk to people you never really talked to. get to know more people. your friends obviously don`t know you. try to start a new friendship with people you think is nice. hopefully things will workout.

Answer 10

Leave your group of friends for a while, and go fishing for a new friend that you think will be true and loyal to you. If you can't find one, you can go back to your friends and have an intervention at your house and tell them everything that has been bothering you and hopefully they will take it to heart and change their selfish ways.