is there love after divorce?

Question

I was with my HS sweety for 9 years before we decided to get married. 6 years later, she left me for another man, We got divorced 1 year later. We had no kids, a good life, we did lots of things together, I was never a couch potatoe, and here I am 10 years after the divorce, and finding out that I can't trust
a single woman on the planet. I have tried to 'love' again, but my heart just wont let me. Will this ever go away?

Answer 1

You sound like an a decent guy, there is no reason to deny yourself happiness with someone else, maybe you need to find it with yourself and forgive your ex mate for leaving you. Its hard and much easier said then done but get out there and meet people, travel, make new friends it will happen for you. Great achievements require great risks. Don't you think your worth it? Best wishes.

Answer 2

There is love after divorce.

Unfortunately you will probably be scarred for a while and it will take some time before you can trust another female again. This baggage will also guarantee a few more failed relationships for you. Hopefully when you do find someone truely deserving of your love, you will be able to see past the damage your ex-wife has done.

Just know that not all woman are the same and there are many woman out there that have also suffered like you have.

Don't let this ruin the rest of your life.

Goodluck

Answer 3

Yes, it will go away when the time is right for you. Don't rush things.

I didn't think I would ever get married again when my first husband and I divorced 15 years ago and I HATED all men. Wouldn't let anyone near my kids and only wanted men for one thing (sorry, but I was a grown up so that was allowed. lol)

I did get over that slowly but surely. Now, I've been remarried for 5 years to a wonderful man. I am so much happier than I was with my 1st husband. Looking back now, I can see how unhealthy our relationship was and that we are both so much better off.

Good luck to you. Just take your time - when the right woman comes along you'll know it! :)

Answer 4

Is there trust after betrayal? Only if you can let go of the past and open your heart again. A broken heart can take as long as it takes to heal. And then we usually built some kind of barricade around our heart in hopes to protect it from another blow or break. By doing this you keep all the good stuff out, and hold all the bad stuff in, constantly reminding yourself of the pain you experienced. Deal with the pain, let it go and gamble on love again. Its waiting for you, only you can answer your own question. Life without "feelings" is not much of a life. :)

Answer 5

It will go away when you choose to let it go away. You are 100% in control. There are over 3 billion females on the planet and you've decided because 1 wronged you, that you don't trust any of them. Hmmmm...does that make sense to you?

The choice is yours...your actions are only punishing yourself. This life is too short not to make every day the best we can.

Take a chance. Apparently you aren't happy as you are now...so why not risk loving someone and being happy?

Or you could try talking to a counselor to help you let go of your issues with women...

Answer 6

You really should not take what your first wife did, out on the ones who followed her. No telling in 10 years how many better potential life partners you let get away.
Keeping yourself over protected like this is robbing you of what you do value. And you valued marriage.
I am not saying run out and grab the first girl you meet and get married. But, stop allowing yourself to be afraid. Give it a second chance. Good luck.

Answer 7

Yes of course it will. When you find the right person. The thing that isnt letting you is that you are looking for women with the opposite characteristics that your wife had bc you got so hurt, you dont want to go through it again. I know it must be hard for you. But when the right person enters your life, you will trust and fall in love all over again. Dont stress about it. God knows when. Have patience!

Answer 8

There can be if you let yourself. You have some trust issues to deal with. I would suggest counseling to help with those issues and take any relationship slowly.

I have been divorced for 5 years and recently found a great guy who is also divorced. We are both taking it slow but we talk about things that concern us.

Answer 9

Of course it will, but everyone's heart heals differently and also each person takes a different amount of time to heal. Have you gotten counseling? Many people don't think to see a therapist for somebody to talk to, or think that by going to a therapist it means you're crazy. In reality the majority of people should see a professional at one time in their life. Everybody goes through hardships, and having someone with the education and knowledge to help you through life's difficult problems can be extremely helpful in understanding more about yourself. In return, when you understand more about your emotions, and why you're having such a hard time letting people in, you will be able to move forward and more easily open your heart to others. It won't be easy, and you will have to talk about things that might be uncomfortable, but any respectable therapist will put your mind at ease and understand the difficulty in opening up about how you feel.

Answer 10

YES IT WILL!!! I am living proof of that! After almost 12 years of marriage, I caught her cheating again. She told me "I just don't love you anymore" blah blah blah. My world was crushed. I gave up trying to find a date let alone someone to share my life with (the number of times I got stood up became a running joke!) Then, after I stopped caring or looking...SHE walked into my life. I had NO intention of getting involved...but by gawd...she was hard to say no to. She never pushed...but I couldn't resist those eyes or that smile nor could I ignore the way she laughed and made me laugh.

We'll be married 10 years this July. Let yourself grieve over the lost love, but don't allow it to define you. Let yourself live first...love will come if you let it, and without your help. But you need to allow yourself to live first. It CAN happen!!