How can i tell my single mom that i might be gay, when she raised me straight?

Question

I'm thirteen, and I think I might be gay. When I was younger I had a crush on a girl, but know I'm just not attracted. I have no idea how to break the news to my single mom, who raised me to like girls, that I might be gay...

Answer 1

It might sounds hard but the best thing to do would be to wait a few years, some bad parents don't care about thier kids and will kick them out, and at 13 you don't have anywhere to do. For now wait and when you're a few years older write it in a note to her as that's normally the easiest way to tell parents this or things like it. Tell her that you love her and that you hope she still loves you.

For now try and ask random questions to feel out what she thinks, not to many at a time as she might figure it out before you want to tell her, but ask things about gay people, or maybe have on 'Will and Grace' some night and ask her what she thinks. If she gets really upset tell her it's because there's a kid in your class that people were saying were gay or that you saw the show and didn't understand it. That way if she is upset about it then you can try and pass it off. But if she's more open to the idea then you might have thought you can ask her something like 'Would you still like me if I was?' and then if she says she would you could admit it, if she says she wouldn't or gets upset you can still pass it off as if you were just asking and aren't gay at all.

I feel for you, it sucks to have to go threw that.

Answer 2

As a single mother of a fourteen year old boy- who I raised to be what i think is hetrosexual- (have a girlfriend, get married etc..) I can answer you to how I would react.
First - i would tell my son that I appreciate his openness and the communication with me. Then I would make sure that he knew I really loved him.
Then I would tell him that the teenage years are very confusing times and hormones and emotions are going crazy.
I would tell him that it takes more time to sort out such a complicated and big decision as to choose to finalize your sexuality.
I would offer him support and guidance, but most of all I hope I could re-assure him that hes not wierd or bad.
Now- Just because you don't have a crush on a girl doesn't make you gay - some girl may still come along and just be "all that" to you.
In the meantime involve yourself in your friends, school, sports, and other activities besides sex and sexual preferences.
All will fall into place in due time.

Answer 3

I think you should wait. When the time comes, I really hope you have your mom's love and support, because you deserve it. And most mom's are supposed to feel that kind of love for their children. But I've been through a bad scene with my mom and step dad and I ended up having to move out of their house and make it on my own. That's a hard thing to do at 13, it was hard at 17. Plus, at 13, you really don't want to get involved in the sexual scene whatever your orientation, because it can go bad and you need a few more years to be able to handle it. In the meantime, why not try and strengthen your relationship with your mom. This is like putting money in the bank, talking to her, rubbing her feet, finding out about her day, picking up, making her a meal, just chatting. When my mom sided with my step dad, it reallly crushed me and I also lost contact with my younger sisters. So enjoy what you have while you have it and I really hope it all turns out like a Hallmark greeting card and not a Hallmark movie of the week.

Answer 4

BE CAREFUL! Your parents may not know what to say and these conversations are better to have when you are older, and independent. I am worried they might throw you out of the house or send you to a counselor. And don't have sex until you're at least eighteen because unlike heterosexuals and lesbians, homosexual men don't get moral support very often(especially from each other), and I don't want your parents to kick you out of the house to leave you with nothing. Luckily you have what I did not have as a kid- the internet. Go on Myspace and you'll probably find kids your age who are going through the same thing. Don't listen to straight people, your parents, or the gay community, because it's your life. Do what makes you happy, but don't selfishly use people.

Answer 5

I think that at 13, it's a little early yet to know if you're gay or straight. I wouldn't worry too much about it just yet. Do you mean you no longer have a crush on that particular girl, or on any girls? Do you have a crush on any boys?

It's natural, at your age, to not want to be with girls, but rather hang out with your male friends. It doesn't necessarily mean that you're gay, it just means you're not ready for girls yet.

I've never heard of any parents raising their kids NOT to be straight; so I guess by that you mean that she might have a problem with you being gay. If this is really worrying you, it might be good to talk to some other adult, like a counselor, who can help you sort out your feelings, before deciding to break any news to your mom.

You are who you are, whatever you are; and your mom should be able to accept that. But you should work out your own feelings first before worrying about what your mom is going to think.

Answer 6

Well Im a 22 year old gay guy with a dad who was VERY hard on us and he raised me to be straight but feelings are feelings. I dated a couple of girls to get them off my back but I was not intrested in them. Do what you think is best and if you are gay then tell your mom you are thats thet best thing you can do when I came out when I was 16 it felt like a big boulder had been lifted off my shoulders. Your mom will love you for who you are not what you are!

Answer 7

You can tell her Mom I cannot say how wonderful you are as a mother and I feel we have such an understanding relationship and I hope it always stays that way. I have something to tell you that may or may not come as a surprise to you but I believe I may be gay. I feel I am gay Mom as I am not attracted to girls and now I am not at all. Allow ten seconds for shock and allow time to pass for it to register. I am sure she will love you at the end of this but do allow some time to pass for it to register into her head.

Answer 8

I would wait until you are a little bit older and have had the chance to experience both sides before you decide to tell her. There is nothing wrong with being gay, dont get me wrong, I just think at 13, you need a little bit more time to figure things out in your head before you go running off to tell your mom. I just hope she is one of those mothers that will love you for who you are or turn out to be.

Answer 9

13 Is a bit young to say if you're gay, or not. Give it time, and think it over more. Im Bisexual, and I didn't tell my mom untill I was 17. Also, Find a time that seems right. Might take a while, but it'll come.

Answer 10

First of all - I don't think you are "raised" straight or gay....I think you are born that way.

Your mom is your mom and should love you know matter what. If you aren't sure then now is a good time to explore those questions.

Take pride in who you are and hold your head high. Your mom will respect you for that at the very least!