who's is right and who's wrong?

Question

On May 16 2007, my friend V. call me borrow my money. She move to Louisiana with her husband and come back to Houston once every 2 weeks to visit her family. She ask me to used my credit card to cash out $1000 and deposit straight to her bank account to let her borrow to pay all her bills. She said that she have the cash with her but she can't deposit in the bank because there is no BankofAmerica in Louisiana and she forgot to deposit the cash in the bank when she come back to Houston two weeks ago. She said that she promise to paid me on that weekend when she come back to Houston. So i let her borrow the money, I call her right after i deposit the money to her account to let her know that the money already in her account. She said that she might not be able to go back to Houston on that weekend because she have to go to Alabama with her husband for his work meeting. She'll be back next weekend. on May 27 of 2007, she call me to let me know that she already back to Houston and she said that she only have half of the amount, she going to pay me half first and then send me the check ( other half) later when she come back to Louisiana. I said that's ok, and ask her is she come over on that afternoon to pay me the half like she said she does. She said "no, I have to go to the church early today, i said i pay half first doesn't mean i pay you today!). I said ok and I ask her (on the day you borrow my money, you said you have the cash with you, and now you said you don't have the cash with you, and your husband can't cash out his pay check because he get out of work to lake on Saturday, what's going on here?" She said "oh, I just buy $1,700 Flat TV for my dad as a early happy father gift because his TV start falling apart and I didn't come back to Houston that often so I decide to buy him a TV.) The next day, I call her through her mom house to ask when did she come over to pay me, she said that she have to take her niece and nephew to go watch movie and then she have to head back to Louisiana on that night, and that she don't have the money to pay me, she will pay (send the check) me all at one when she come back to Louisiana. I’m not working; I stay home to take care of my two children. My husband is the only person who is working in my family. I’m so scared that if she really doesn’t have money to pay me back, what am I going to do, I don’t have money to pay the bank, my husband make enough money to pay the house bill and to support the family, we don’t have any extra money to pay for any deft as it is we already have to much deft that we try to pay off. So I call her husband (He know about this too) and tell him to remind her to send me the check when they come back to Louisiana , so she won’t forgot ( my friend she always forget things that she need to do) and that I really need to money to pay the back to the bank. I try to call my friend on her cell phone but she never pick up her cell phone on that day so I have no choice but to leave her the messages about send the money to me through Western Union because it guarantee , it won’t get lost ,and it faster and she need to send it to me right away like that I can receive it on that Wednesday, the latest is Thursday, because I really need the money. On Monday night ( June 4, 2007), her and her husband come to pay me the money they said that they borrow the money from her mother in law to pay me back. Next Morning, she call me and ask if my bill come back yet? I said the mail usually come in the afternoon, that I may be received the bill on that afternoon. She said when the bill come back go pay of that bill and cash out another $1000 to let her borrow again. I said that I can’t let her borrow money again because I run in depth myself at that time ( I own my kids doctor $600 that I have to pay off ). She said that she really need the money, because after she pay me she don’t have anymore money to go to Georgia for Vacation. I said that I’m really sorry about that, but I can’t let her borrow any money at that time. Two hours later she call me in anger voice and said “first thank you for let me borrow the money, but you know what from now on you don’t have to worry about I’m going to borrow your money again because you been harassment me by leave me those message, you act like I ‘m take your money and gone way, that I’m not going to pay you. I don’t like the idea that you calling me so often about this situation.” I tell her that I didn’t mean to harassment her, that I’m never thinking that she going to steal my money. I ‘m just afraid that if she send the check in regular way, the check might be lost then I ‘m in trouble with the bank. She doesn’t believe me and accused me harassment her, and then she hung up the phone. Two hours after that I try to call her to said I’m sorry that I make her feel that way, and to solve the misunderstanding between me and her to save the friend relationship but she never pick up the phone. My husband tell me not to call them again, he said in this situation she was wrong and I was right, I have to right to ask for my money back, that she try to play walk around game with me, she intend not to pay me back the money, and if I didn’t call her husband on that day, she will not pay back my money. I want to know if I was really right and she was wrong in this situation. she still haven’t call me back yet! I don’t want to call her to said sorry to her because everybody said she was wrong, she liar to me. I , myself also feel that I was right in this situation. If she call me to said sorry then I’ll forgive her and be friend me again. If any of you in this situation, what are you going to do?

yes, she pay me back the money plus 3% cash advance fee but not the interest which is 6.5%.

Answer 1

Wow...your tooo nice. Fist of all she is wrong...Never lend money you don't have. You and your family come first. She is no friend of yours and she has no respect for you, your family or herself. If she were a good person she would pay you the money back and say thank you. I hope you get your money back and don't lend her anymore. And please don't feel bad about it...if they don't have enough money for bills then I guess their gonna have to stop spending beyond their means....i.e.--vacations.....
Good luck!!

Answer 2

You sure do know how to type! She doesn't sound like that good of a friend to me. Sounds like you are a very nice person that can easily get taken advantage of. You should never let anyone borrow money from you like that again. If you want to do something nice to help people give to charity or something. In the meantime, worry about your family first. Her needs for the money were selfish and you had to suffer with your family because of it. She was out having a good time while you were at home suffering. That is not friendship. Ditch this so called "friend." You are too good a person for that.

Answer 3

wow, that was a long question.
First, I have learned one thing - never give money to a friend unless you are prepared to write it off. You did not follow that rule. It is extremely nice of you to let your friend borrow money when you put your family's financial situation at risk.

I would side with your husband on this one. You had the right to call her when she kept promicing and never deliver. Especially when the stakes were so high. I would be calling her every 3 minutes.

I also think that your "friend" was very incosiderate asking you to take cash advance from your credit card (those immediately start acruing interest) to by her dad a TV and later ask you for another loan to go on vacation.

Personally, I dont think she is a good friend if she is incosiderate enough to put you in financial problems so she can go on vacation.

Answer 4

A very sick mama dog is an extremely stressful situation. And I understand your anger at some of the answers that you received. It is normal for you to want to vent back to these folks some of your anger and frustration. So, try to remain calm and keep your focus on your dog & pups. Don't let this cloud your true goal - a healthy dog. And yes, I would love to know this outcome. Kudos to you for your quick action in caring for 7 pups! It isn't easy! I wish that more people would realize that there are situations that stump even the best of vets. While the calicum issue is the most common with these symptoms, it is not the only cause. And your dedication to this dog and her pups is very, very admirable. So, you know that you are responding to this crisis in the best manner possible. You are doing all you can do in an extremely difficult situation. Let God sort out the rest. Peace

Answer 5

She outright lied to you from the beginning of this exchange. You should have had her sign a written document that disclosed the amounted loaned and when it was to be repaid by. Now all you have is a credit card statement saying you took a $1000 advance but no way to prove what or to whom the money went. You have two choices. Kiss the money goodbye or take her to small claims court. In Claims court its your word against her so start recording calls about the money and/or get her to sign something that is notarized with plan of repayment. Either way kiss that friendship goodbye because a true friend would never put in a bind like she is selfishly doing.

Answer 6

First, don't ever lend her money again.

Second, she was in the wrong. She gave you a specific plan to pay it back, then she didn't do what she said she would.

Third, she is just angry at you because she knows she was wrong, and you didn't let her get away with it. Give her time to get over it, and then maybe the two of you can talk. If she stays angry, she's not a good friend anyway.

You acted just right.

Answer 7

she was wrong. Next time you let someone borrow that kind of money, you both need to sign a paper that states the date in which that money is supposed to be paid back. She is just using you, not your true friend, and she is probably never going to apologize. You did well by telling her she could not borrow money again.

Answer 8

Dang that was alot to read but to sum it up I totally agree with you husband. She should be calling you to apologize to you. You did a nice thing for someone that you considered you friend and in return what did you get. A damn headache so I know you probably didn't want it to end up this way but you were being as nice as can be, what else was you supposed to do. FYI you would've been a FOOL to let her ever borrow money from you again. She burned that bridge all by herself you hadd nothing to do with that. Good Luck!!!

Answer 9

If you hadn't kept after her for the money - she Never would have paid you back. I can't believe she had the nerve to ask you for more money!! A true friend would have never asked to borrow money from a friend who was also in debt. Be great-full you are rid of her. She's a user! YOU WERE RIGHT.

Answer 10

You've been had, and I am very sorry. You can attempt to get a judgement against her in small claims court, but by her no longer residing in Houston, your local courts will have no authority to enforce an order to pay. In the future be extremely judicious about lending money to ANYONE, and never in large sums without attachable collateral.