Wife has secret lingerie collection?

Question

I recently discovered that my wife has a secret collection of sexy lingerie that I have never seen her wear. I also found 2 toys and 4 bottles of flavored oils. Also, having previously mentioned her dislike of thongs to me, there were quite a few items that had matching thong panties. The lingerie has no store tags, so I'm assuming its been on her body at least once, nor can she say she just bought it for me as a "surprise" Is this enough proof of an affair and should I confront her, or should I sit back and continue to observe?

2 bottles of the oils had been used.

Answer 1

Don't say anything now. Keep an eye on these items to see if they are moved, disturbed, used. Get more proof that something is actually going on before confronting her.
Maybe they are just for her special alone times.

Answer 2

Lingerie Wife

Answer 3

I would surprise her with a trip out shopping. Tell her to get dressed up, (wear a dress & heels) you're taking her out. Then take her to the lingerie store. Help her pick out some hot little numbers. Maybe you can join her in the dressing room. Have her leave the store wearing her new lingerie, but not the panties!

Then take her for a pair of CFM pumps, or sandals. You know, the REAL hot looking ones. Sit across from her, so you can see her trying on the shoes! You'll get an eye full, and she'll get totally aroused too. I doubt you'll make it to the car!

When you go home, light some candles and oil her up with scented oil. GIve her the massage of her dreams! Later, after the two of you share a VERY soapy shower, ask her to model anything she may have which you haven't seen--if you still have the stamina. If not, say, too bad you don't have a vibrator to play with. She may pull it out for you to use on her.

Sex can be so much fun! Go for it!

Answer 4

Toys and flavored oils, sounds like your wife is planning something. I hope it is with you.
I would observe. A secret collection does not mean that she has a secret lover. Although it does sound suspicious...
Bring her some sexy stuff much like the stuff that she already has. If she won't wear it then ask her why? Or take her shopping for some sexy stuff and notice what she picks out. My girl friend also bought the most glamorous sexy lingerie. One day after work we went to a very nice store, she bought all of this sexy stuff right down to the marabou covered mules. It was for a man that she was seeing on the side, and I don't think her husband ever caught on because when HER LOVER dumped her, she just took it out of her secret stash and draped it on the bed like it was all for him.
So, my friend, sit back and observe. Then make her use all four bottles of that flavored oil..I hope none of it is jalapeno
OUCH WOW OUCH
Peace

Answer 5

Have you been 100% faithful and kind to her? Does she have any reason you can think of to do this? If you've cheated on her before she still should not do this but you would have a different circumstance because you couldnt accuse her without accusing yourself. Before accusing anyone you must look at all sides of the story.

If you've been faithful and kind to her, I would not confront her, but I would take the stuff and put it on the bed and when she comes home, gently ask her about it. Maybe she really did buy it for you? If you ask her gently, you wont be embarrassed if you're wrong and you'll be able to save your relationship. Dont just scream accusations at her when she walks in the door.

Now, if she acts really guilty and you find out she HAS been cheating on you, thats a different story. You still have to be relatively kind to her, you cant just lash out and throw things at her (even though she has probably hurt you a great deal) but I cant see how the marriage would last after an affair. I dont think most divorces are necessary but the Bible says the only instance where divorce is OK is if your spouse has cheated on you. Thats adultery and a lot more serious than people make it out to be.

I would probably ask a friend if you can stay with him or go to a motel until you sort things out because you do not want to be in the house together.

Pray about it and if you truly want to stay together I'm sure there is a way that it can be worked out. If not, I'm sorry, and I hope it will work out for the best.

Answer 6

I would ask her what this lingerie is for and just curious since you never seen it before. Maybe she is screwing around on you or has a wild side you ain't seen yet. I would confront her about these items though to make yourself feel at ease.

One other thought you do not say how long you have been married have you ever considered they are from a bridal shower and she has never used them?. That she has them hidden or just out of the way since she has no use for them.

Answer 7

Maybe she brought the items and just haven't had a chance to wear them for you. You say she told you she doesn't like thongs well maybe she is trying to get used to them for you. It is very possible that she also purchased them for herself. As women we like to buy things that make us feel sexy. I believe that almost every woman owns at least one toy and you shouldn't assume she is having an affair unless there are other signs.

Answer 8

I would handle it this way..hey honey. I was looking for my (blank) when I came upon some sexy lingerie and couple of toys...wanna tell me something?

Then ask her to put on a show for you. BTW, you mentioned 4 bottles of lotion/oils. Are they half empty? That could be a small clue.

Answer 9

Don't tell her yet, if you want to know why she has them and she hasn't told you yet then she'll lie to you. Use this new knowledge to find out. Take inventory of them and keep track of when they're there and when they're not. If you see one missing keep a close eye on her and where she's going. If it takes too long then confront her and ask her the same questions. Ask her why she has all these things if she doesn't like thongs, and why did she lie to you about not liking them. Maybe she doesn't like them on a conventional level but when she's dressin sexy it's ok? Or maybe she buys them but when she puts them on she doesn't feel sexy and just puts them away. Women are sometimes like that so don't come out blaming, but for sure don't assume there is nothing going on. Find out yourself.

Answer 10

continue to observe, lots of women have lingerie that they've had and just don't wear anymore and the toys may just be for her own *ahem* "alone" time. You need more proof than this to accuse her of cheating. Just sit back and wait, if she's doing something she'll screw up and it will come out eventually.