Why does 50% of marriages end in divorce? What's going wrong?

Question

Some say they divorced because they simply weren't happy. Some say the spouse "changed" What can be done to lower the divorce rate? Shouldn't there be like a pre-requisite where as in order to get married, you have to attent marriage counseling for at least 3 months. At least this way, you'll know what to expect in a marriage.

Answer 1

I think the problem is that people get married without thinking of it as a lifelong commitment. They think... Well I can always get a divorce if things don't work out.

Answer 2

Really, the best way to ensure that there are less divorces is for there to be less marriages in the first place. Many people get married too young, many people get married because they get pregnant, and they think it's "the right thing to do."

If you really want to curb the divorce rate, then they should:
1. Require people to be at least 25 years old before they can get married, and;
2. Have a mandatory 1 year waiting period from the time you apply for the marriage license before you can get married.

If they did these things, then a lot of bad marriages wouldn't happen in the first place, and that in turn would make the divorce rate plummet. I don't think that is unreasonable at all.

Answer 3

Some people jump into marriage way to soon. They are together for a few months and think they are in love and will be together forever without knowing eachother. That I understand. BUT people do not want to put the hard work into the commitment they have made. I believe the law has made it too easy for couples to divorce. Life gets tough. People change. Children and finances happen. But that is all the more reason people should work TOGETHER to get through those hard times instead of giving up and walking out on the family. Believe it or not MOST people that ask for the divorce usually are the ones that regret it later on. Life is not always greener. People lets put more work into our families and make them strong and believe that no matter what happens in life we will always be together. Our children are the ones that are affected by our choices and most times feel they are the cause. Let's wake up. Marriage is a partnership, an equality. It's not to be taken lightly.

Answer 4

Counseling may help a little is some cases, but overall I don't think it would make much difference. Here is why. When you say "I DO" the relationship changes, there is something about the finality of marriage, ie, loss of freedon, that eventually gets to some people, also face the facts, people get tired of eachother and their sex, most are used to some degree of variety. When people get married they stop competing for each others affections, they just take it for granted. Lots of times when there are problems, married people wont talk to each other, because it just causes more problems and they get tired of the hassel. Ok, also , you never know a person untill you live with them and then you don't learn their real nasty side untill you try to divorce them. Also, you can be in love and have the other person destroy your respect for them and you love dies within you, or you can just fall out of love and have nothing but pity left. That has happened to me. It is just not simple , and the only answer that I have found in my 28 years of marriage, is just don't get married. I won't do it again, no way. P

Answer 5

Stop marrying people.
Marriage does not strengthened a relationship.
It is the relationship that strengthens a marriage.

Marriage is not the final chapter to a fairy tale where everything you want will come true.

People should have to prove themselves financial independent before entering marriage. If your credit score is too low you can't get married. Why? because many people blame their spouse for the financial problem when in fact they are causing it themselves and it is the spouse that is bailing them out. By being financial independent that removes one line of arguments. Next is typical argument is about sex and if the each spouse is able to handle their finances then they can get what ever they want and not have the need for the spouse to give it to them as a sign of affection. So again without the forced affection gifts can be given freely. Now neither spouse will feel that they are paying for sex or being bought for sex. Sex again becomes a free expression of love.

A 3 month class is not enough time to change spending habits. It needs to go back to your credit score.

Answer 6

I believe that people dont have the same Morales, and values that they had years ago. Ex: My grandparents have been married for many,many years. They had problems in there relationship, but they worked them out. They werent as quick as we are today to get divorced. It was a totally different generation. I also believe that we let family, and friends influence us more to get a divorce when things are not going well instead of them telling us to try to work it out. The problem with family getting involved is that if we call them to vent about our spouse they dont forget what we tell them. They hold on to it, and end up not liking the person. This can cause major conflict. I also believe marriage is about being able to compromise. Many people today dont know how to do that. Also people are getting married for all the wrong reasons. Ex: money, need to get away from family, getting pregnant, loneliness, and ect. You should not get married because of those examples. It will never work. Trust is another big part of a marriage. If you dont trust one another then thats going to ruin a marriage. Also people dont know the true meaning of love. They are to easily able to just give up on a person. That dosent mean stay in a abusive relationship. As far as councling goes I believe it can work. But you both have to willingly want to go. You cant go just because the other person wants you to go. You have to be open to any advise given. Also a big mistake that we as women do is say that we can change our spouse. No one can change anyone unless they themselves want to change. You have to also be able to take responsibility for your wrong actions, and not put blame on the other person. Marriage can be great when we learn to except each other for who we are. Well I hope I helped in answering your question. Good luck.

Answer 7

Your americans are so arrogant. That divorce rate is for the United States. The way I see it, too many people get married in the U.S. without a solid foundation. People in the states are too easy to call it quits before it ever really started. Marriage Counseling huh? Yea thats like going to a seminar on brain surgery one day, and then trying to preform a lobotomy the next day. Spouses just need to put the other partner 1st, and keep trying to make an effort to keep the passion going. Thats just the way I see it.

Answer 8

Marriage counseling doesn't do sh it to stop divorce! I have see many people spend $1000s on marriage counseling only to wind up getting divorced anyway and have also seen people get through some really tough times with out any "counseling" and stay together.

In some cases divorce is actually the healthiest option, in other cases it is just the laziness and "the grass is greener" attitude of one or both parties that is the problem. I for one could care less about these "stats" or what others do. I instead worry about MYSELF and MY FAMILY! I suggest you do the same.

Answer 9

My personal opinion on this is that times have changed. People today lack the integrity that people (20-30yrs ago) used to have. My parents are in their mid 50's and have been married since they were 19 and 20. HAPPILY married I might add. Also I think people get married so young and for the wrong reasons. Times have changed and I don't think the divorce ratio will ever drop. Couples are now so quick to file for divorce. It just seems that going to couseling is not what people in troubled marriages wanna do.

Answer 10

Why do you wanna lower the divorce rate? It's none of your business if people get married or divorced.
What to expect in a marriage? The same as in a relationship. No difference. Only a paper and a ring and a useless big fuss.

Answer 11

The problem is that marriage is a lot of work. Seems as tho we don't like to work at it and it is easier to just move on. Marriage counseling is always a good idea because when you're in love you tend to have blinders on. You need to ask a potential spouse a lot of questions so that you know where they stand on important issues, not just assume they think as you do. And then as you mature, your choices may change and you grow apart. Life isn't easy nor is marriage. You have to make good choices.