I've been married for 15 yrs and w/him for 22. The relationship has been somewhat disfunctional from the start...not sure why I've let it go on for so long. We have 2 kids together, but I'm just not happy. I have met someone that I believe would treat me like my mom said I should be treated.. What do I do? Do I stay at home so my kid's lives aren't turned upside down? Or do I look to make myself happy?
2007-06-11 06:35:51 · 13 answers · asked by Crzybtch 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The kids probably know you are unhappy and would welcome the change.
how to tell him? two ways. ask him if he is happy with his life. How it has been and how it's going and see what he says. He will say it's all good. He may be lieing to tell you what he thinks you want to hear.
He will ask you the same question. Tell him the truth (but not all the truth). Tell him it hasn't been great and lately you wonder why you ever stayed as long as you have. You wonder if it wouldn't be better for both of you to go your seperate ways.
It's eith this or you have someone hand him the divorce papers and run.
2007-06-11 09:10:39 · answer #1 · answered by oldsoftee2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a lot of other questions that could/should be asked here, but the real question is...what is the most important thing in your life?
My wife and I were separated for 7 months, she told me that she didn't want to have anything to do with me, and she was having an affair.
It took us a long time to get through our problems and we still have issues but we both decided that the marriage and the kids were the most important thing. We have worked through a great deal and continue to work through things, but in the end by making the rest of the family first in our lives, we each have become happier.
I believe that commitment and sacrifice never go unrewarded.
2007-06-11 06:44:18 · answer #2 · answered by Secksi 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I thinks you should make yourself happy and just because you are getting a divorce doesn't mean that your kids lives have to be turned upside down. It may make there lives better to have a happy mother. Be happy and don't let your worries stop you. Do what your heart tells you to do and just remember to continue to be the best mother you can to your children.
Good Luck!
Remember this saying..... Live..Love...Laugh and be happy!
2007-06-11 06:45:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't stay for the kids...so many parents make that wrong choice...the kids will deal with it and get over it. Life happens and that's part of it. You can make it work outside of the relationship...if you are happy your kids are happy! Good luck!
2007-06-11 10:40:35 · answer #4 · answered by Workinmamma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kills me when I see women saying they should have done something, but didn't... then wait until they have children and are willing to destroy their lives to fill their own selfish needs.
You stay until your kids are 18. I don't care what anyone says.. it makes the kids happier to see their parents together than to watch them divorce and split up and then have to deal with their new boyfriends and all that crap.
You look to make you happy when your kids are grown. You have lived with this man for this long... keep a smile on your face and stick it out for your kids.
As for the other guy.... why would you even consider being with a man who has no problem being with a married woman. He's got issues of his own and so do you.
2007-06-11 07:54:54 · answer #5 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
call the police and/or seem up a women's abuse center. The abuse center could have a 'risk-free homestead' the place he can not get to you. you will get help with having him served with divorce papers and you are able to ought to get a restraining order to maintain him away (it could no longer keep him away, however the police will enforce it once you call). As for him threatening suicide, he's in straightforward terms a administration freak and since the prospect has labored previously he will proceed to apply it. If he have been to kill himself, which I heavily doubt, it does not be your fault. Get your divorce, pass to California and initiate a clean existence,
2017-01-06 07:21:52 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never stay for the kids. Just come out and say it. Waiting won't make things better. If you are absolutely sure this is what you want, go fo it. The kids will still have both parents, just not in the same house. Plus, your kids will benefit from your happiness! Let them see you happy!
2007-06-11 06:41:20 · answer #7 · answered by shondak 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
just leave, i am in the same situation and i do not know how to get out of it. i am beginning to realize that when my kids are older they will not be mad at me and realize that my happiness also counts. if you come up with a better solution please e-mail me and let me know what it is? i know there is no easy way to go about this, plus you probably feel that you don't have good motive to leave him so that part will be the hardest.
2007-06-11 06:50:29 · answer #8 · answered by HEARTBOUND♥ 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you are not happy, your kids are not going to be happy. Sit him down and tell him you would like to call it quits but give him the reasons why. The fact you have met someone, does seem to indicate that perhaps you have cheated which is not being fair to him.
2007-06-11 06:43:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You will be committing adultery if you divorce him for any other reason then if he has committed adultery on you. Who ever you marry, you will cause to commit adultery too.
You have forgotten your marriage vows. Remember them? For better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer until DEATH do us part?
Happiness is a choice not a gift from others.
You will hurt your children for sure if you break up the family. You will be acting very selfishly. Find out what you can do to make your marriage better. Fight for the vows you made when you got married. Get counseling.
Read the bible if you doubt what I say. Get a plain English translation and read it yourself.
2007-06-11 06:45:34 · answer #10 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋