I decided with my husband that he and I will be the only ones in the L&D room when our baby is born. I know both of our mothers are going to be disappointed. How do I gently explain this our mothers without hurting their feelings?
2007-06-11 06:16:41 · 14 answers · asked by Heather M 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Just tell them this is an intimate time for you and hubby.
They are welcomed to wait and should you need them they will be available.
They should understand.
2007-06-11 06:23:08 · answer #1 · answered by MommyTwice-TwiceTheLove 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
With our pregnancy we are going to be the only two in the delivery room when the baby is born, but during labor my mother is going to be on stand by so if my husband needs to use the bathroom or needs to eat etc. My mother and i are really close, but i would still feel kind of strange having her in the delivery room. I mean she has seen me go through tons of stuff as a kid etc, but this is a personal thing between my husband and me. My son as first was bummed because he was not going to be in the room. Then i kind of explained to him, "Mommy is going to be wearing a hispital nighty with nothing on from the waist down with her legs in the air i think you would feel weird being in the room." He is 12 and decided out decision was a good one that he not be in the room *laughs* He will be waiting with the rest of the people there in the waiting room. My mother will be on call though incase for whatever reason my husband has a problem with being in the delivery room. He has never witnessed a delivery so i am planning on back up just incase.
Just tell your mom's that it is something special between you and your husband that it's nothing against either of them. That they will be the first to see the baby once it's born, but you would feel more comfy if they waited in the waiting room. Whether they agree or not it is you and your husbands choice. Make sure to tell the doctor your wishes. Don't let your mom's force you into a decision you are not comfy with. If you do then the experience will be something you look back on as a bad one not a good one. Once they see there new grandchild they will forget all about being upset that they were not in the delivery room.
Good luck!
2007-06-11 06:29:57 · answer #2 · answered by ~Angel Eyed Pookie~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didn't have the option to explain as my doctor would only allow my husband in when I had my daughter. Just tell them that you and your husband love them and want them to be there for it, but you want to experience this together. They will be allowed in as soon as the baby is cleaned and ready to go. Delivery can be a hectic time and the less people in there, the less you have to deal with. I pushed for 2 1/2 hours and ended up having to do a csection. She was 9 lbs and too big to fit through. Once they see that baby it won't even matter if they were in there or not. They'll forget all about it :)
2007-06-11 06:24:54 · answer #3 · answered by Tanya 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother was with me the first time round and it did help knowing she was in the room with me but it was my partner who did the hand holding and the face wiping. But my second is due october and as i know what to expect and feel more confident i wont need my mum there.
Its your choice entirely, just as you wouldnt have wanted them there at the conception!!!!!! Plus you dont want an audeince watching you give birth which it would be if you had both mums!! They can wait outside the room and see the baby moments after arriving!!!! There is no point in them being funny about it as your the parents and you get to make the decisions!!!! It would be unfair of them to make you feel bad!!!!!
All the best X
2007-06-15 03:52:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them what I told my mother in law (my own mother wasn't an issue becuase she lives out of state): I'm sorry, but this is something that (husband's name) and I feel is a very, very personal experience, and we want it to be just the two of us in the delivery room." (Then, if you're close with your MIL like I am with mine) you could add in (jokingly) "Besides, you've had a child and you know what it looks like." :) If either of them gets ugly with you and develops an attitude, you could always say, "Oh, I'm sorry--you didn't help create this baby, and you're not going to help deliver it!" (I'd use that as a last resort though, lol.)
2007-06-11 06:56:43 · answer #5 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just explain to them that you would like it to be just you and your husband and that you would LOVE for them to be in the waiting room if you would like that. I had just myself and my husband and no one was upset about it I did not even tell them I was in labor because I went into labor at 1:00 in the morning so they did not even know I was in labor till about 9 and then I had her at 11:27. It is what ever you and your husband want and your family will not get upset about you will be surprised. Good Luck and Congratulations!
2007-06-11 06:22:31 · answer #6 · answered by skyler 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Luckly when I had my son never families expressed intrest in being there...
I'd just tell them that you and your husband want it to be just the 2 of you in the delivery room. That after the baby is born that they are more then welcome to visit.
They might be disapointed but they will respect your decision.
2007-06-11 06:22:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I recently did the same thing. I just told them that I am modest and will feel most comfortable with my husband only. His mother took it harder than mine, but she'll get over it. Good luck!
2007-06-11 06:25:54 · answer #8 · answered by Rosie aka Rosie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain the it is a deeply personal and bonding time for you, your husband and the baby. They will understand. and if they don't, don't lose any sleep over it.
2007-06-11 06:25:14 · answer #9 · answered by randy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just tell them. i did the same thing when my fiance and i had our son. i thought there was enough people there with the doctor and the nurses and both of us. and plus i didnt want anyone else looking at me all exposed and all.
hope all works outs
2007-06-11 06:28:07 · answer #10 · answered by yv060183 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋