On a recent ivillage message board that question was posted. The woman was saying she's been married for 10 yrs and the spark is gone even though her hubby looks better than ever.
I've never been in a relationship that lasted more than 4 yrs and that was my marriage and I'm divorced now. I'm afraid to get married again for fear of wanting to get out once I'm in it for some time.
On the ivillage message board every response was a "I'm on the same boat" type of answer. I would like to hear if anybody (ANYBODY!) has had a different experience. Can your spouse still do it for you after many years? Is that possible? How do you cope- deal with it?
2007-06-11 05:47:10 · 20 answers · asked by soda7nb 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
keeping the fire alive takes WORK. most of the people you hear bitching about losing the spark didn't do the work it takes to keep it alive. You have to choose the person you are with every day and cultivate the love and respect that is needed.
2007-06-11 06:03:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay well I have been married for about 7 years and I still think my husband has got it....sure he got chubby when I got pregnant but that was because we was happy and eating all the time...he lost the wieght when I did....I think all has to do with your brain and what you think...I think if you lead a negative and depressing life then yeah your gonna expect for someone else to turn you on or as you said "do it" for ya....but if you look on the bright side and see how good you have it...as far as men go...you should always look at the positive in anything....marriage I think is over rated...they make it seem like this great awesome thing when it just marriage...you found the person you want to live the rest of your life with and they found the same...you live everyday together and you cant expect every day to be a bed of roses. Sure you plan goals in life together but you are also a human being...I am not saying marriage is bad...I love being married but some ppl expect way to much out of marriage.
2007-06-11 06:02:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We'll have been together for 15 years this October. He still does it for me in every sense of the expression.
Our reception party favors were little candles that said, "Keep the fire burning..." because we have and you need to. He still gives me a kiss every time I bring him something, or he brings me something, every time one of us leaves the room, just meeting each other in the kitchen is reason enough for a big hug and a little cuddle time. I truly believe it's a great marriage tip for keeping things alive, touch each other often. It lets the other person know you haven't lost interest, when there's no time for anything else.
Adding: We text message each other a lot while he's at work too. Some time's to let each other know what we're in for when he gets home. It builds excitement.
2007-06-11 05:58:00 · answer #3 · answered by RanaBanana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont have thay experience myself but my parents do so i asked them for you and they said you have to remember what made you fall in love with them and hold on to that.
The passion will go away after time and thats expected but love is ther and thats what counts.
My mum and dad have never been happier they've gotten past the arguing and mishapps they enjoy eachother and feel more comfortable than ever.
Maybe your view on your relationship has changed and you just can't see tyhat? maybe the physical look of your man has changed when you were happier before he changed? talk to him and let him see how you feel and that way the pair of you can find a way to regain some passion and intrege eachother again.
I hope this has helped.
2007-06-11 05:54:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on the situation really. see there are times i feel the spark with my hubby then there are times i do not. we have been married for 4 yrs and we have an 1 1/2 yr old boy. i am the one that likes to be frisky and he does not so it causes a lot of resentment then there will not be action for a while...then when he gets in his frisky moods and makes moves on me i feel closer to him. so yeah it just depends on situations etc...
2007-06-11 05:58:03 · answer #5 · answered by NEWPORT BEACH GIRL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Married 10 years in a couple of weeks and together 12. My husband still does it for me. I do not want anybody else and am totally happy with him.
2007-06-11 06:47:41 · answer #6 · answered by tish_ls 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My girlfriend and I first met 18 years ago. We've never married, and we are still in love, more so now than we were as teenagers. She is the reason I run and work out, and she looks better to me than she did when we met.
2007-06-11 06:01:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ABSOLUTELY HE DOES!
We have been married for 12 years (dated 7, so we have been together for 19 years) and I look forward for him coming home. ALONE time is SO special that it gives me goosebumps thinking about it.
He kisses me and my knees buckle.
The man is OUT there that can make you feel this way. Don't give up hope.
2007-06-11 06:12:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We just had our 26th year. Yea he still does it for me. We look nothing like we did in high school. but I remember up in the barn of his parents house 7 times in one day. :) Now I'm lucky if I get it once a month but I still see that young and he knows me like no one ever could. Its a wonderful feeling.
2007-06-11 05:54:53 · answer #9 · answered by kkapustka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just have to work at it hard some people will fall out of love with the other person you have to make time for just the two of you and MAKE time you have to still act like you are dating and keep that love alive that the only way I can think of to explain it sorry
2007-06-11 06:23:45 · answer #10 · answered by nikie_atkinson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋