I've been with my husband (not married legally, been with him for last 7 years) for a while now, but in January I noticed the change in him. Well, found out he was having affair, and knew who the woman was. After many months of fighting with the other woman, she finally realized he was playing games with her too, as I told her he would, and she told me everything that happened between them. Call me crazy, but we started talking, and now we are friends and every time we talk, he gets pissed off. I personally think that this is very funny to see him angry when we talk. What do you think??
2007-06-11 05:10:07 · 25 answers · asked by Queene-77 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think it's great personally. Too many times a cheating man will pit women against each other, when the whole time he's playing them both like fiddles. I think it's ok if you feel that you and this other woman have a bond because you've shared a similar experience with the same man. I'm curious as to why you are still with this guy though. ...and I would'nt expect him to be ok with you two talking anytime in the near future
2007-06-11 05:15:25 · answer #1 · answered by Rachel-Pit Police-DSMG 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going through this right now. My husband left me three days after my best friend kicked her hubby out. He immediately went and stayed with her and is still there. He told me it was because he didn't love me anymore, but then about a week later told me he wouldn't mind him and my supposed best friend being more than friends. We have two kids together and that is where hurt really comes into play. They both claim nothing has happened besides a kiss and late night talks until about 4 am. They say no sexual contact at all. Her husband and mine were best friends too. It is a very hard thing to handle, but you have to follow what is in your heart. It is only you who can make the right decision for you. You also have to look at it in regards to the kids too. If you are not going to be able to forgive him and make things work, you must let him go. If he is promising to make an honest attempt at salvaging your marriage and you want to try to.... then go for it. Just remember your kids will know a lot more than you think they do... even from your emotions. Good Luck and I will be thinking about you as I deal with my journey through the pain of the same problem. By the way we have been together for 15 years.
2016-05-17 08:34:02 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you can be friends. And while you and his old flame are sitting at some cafe, bashing him over coffee, he is off with another girl, doing what he wants. If you love this man, live with this man and have forgiven him, they you should acknowledge his anger and make a choice - leave him and stay friends with his old flame, or drop the friendship and devote yourself too your man.
I think you too are friends because it pisses him off and this is your way of getting back at him. Sooner or later that rush will fade and he will either leave you and hurt you or cheat on you again. Either way, your friendship with his old flame doesn't seem all genuine. But rather a reaction to your feelings of keeping pissed off at you.
Having an affair is the result of needs not being met. That doesn't mean it is always about sex, but rather the fulfillment of a need. You didn't fill his need(s) and he didn't communicate those needs with you.
If you enjoy yourself over his anger, you are as much to blame for his actions as he is. Keep pushing and you may just push him right out the door. How would you feel if he just up and left you for her or another girl???
2007-06-11 05:43:36 · answer #3 · answered by Just Life, Trying To Live It. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only no, but H*LL NO!!!! My husband did have an affair, and I freaking hate her. I know it takes two, and yah, I have made my husband "pay", but the way I see it, is I have NOTHING to work out with her. I have 12 years and 2 kids to salvage withy my husband. And yah, he was in the wrong, afterall he's the one who made vows to me, but she knew he was married and had children. H*ll, she had even met all of us, prior to the affair. (They were co-workers and had seen us in the office)
Why would you WANT to befriend this woman? Aren't you only asking for more drama, when you obviously already have enough? How could you speak to her or see her and not envision what your husband did with her? And by you choosing to keep her in your life, aren't you making her more accessable to him? What, you gonna invite her over summer picnics, when she gets her own man, you 4 gonna go out on double dates? You are creating a mess. If you are making your marriage work, you need to cut her out of your life.
To each his own, I suppose, but NOT maintaining a friendship with my husbands whore, has been my choice. If i had to see her, I'd probably rip her head off.
2007-06-11 05:25:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you don't really have a "friendship" with this woman..I think you are operating under the "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" school of thought and I think there is nothing wrong with this...except you are continuing to have this woman be a part of your life and why do you want that? She slept with your husband...no need to keep reminding yourself of that every time you talk to her....end the "friendship"
2007-06-11 05:17:12 · answer #5 · answered by juda75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What makes you so sure their relationship is over.
Did she know he was married in the first place??
Why would you be playing around with fire?
If you were willing to forgive your husband, you should respect him to.
However, it is sad to hear you make fun of your significant other by talking to his ex-mistress.
It's one thing to find out, and if she is a decent person, to let go of your partner. But, for her to be part of a devious thing like this is bad.
If your friendship with the other woman is greater than your love for your man, then let the jerk go.
Good luck.
2007-06-11 05:20:56 · answer #6 · answered by Emerald 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you call this man your husband, when he hasn't married you? Both him and the other woman are playing games with you now. Hilarious!
2007-06-11 05:18:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now thats common sometimes they only do it do get back with the husband and turns out to be really good frds. Friends find eachother in the wierdest places or moments.
2007-06-11 05:14:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, she slept with your man. Why are you still with him, he cheated on you with her. Yes he is mad that the two of you are friends, but that's ok. He may have another girl on the side. If he had one he can have another. I think you are the fool to stay with him and to talk to her.
2007-06-11 05:20:08 · answer #9 · answered by harold 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm, well why should you gorgive just him? it takes two people right? if i was to do that then i would most certainly be careful. i dontk now if u knew her eprior to the affair , but non the less i would be careful about trusting either of them
2007-06-11 05:14:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋