first of all, i love my b/f. we been dating for about 5 years. please dont tell me about "size doesnt matter" or "u sure u love him" kind of crap. dont want to hear it. i just want what u guys think...
we are same age, 28, and we been dating for about 5 years. i love him and i know he loves me as well. (no questions about love plz) i have a steady job and make around $100,000/yr. i am a designer and work for sean john in ny. i graduated from parsons.
my b/f, he's not so financially stable. he graduated from stonybrook... barely. works in time warner cable as a broadband tech. gets paid around $40k. he promised me he will go to graduate school. he is currently studying for GMAT.
being of where i am and where he is financially, all i want from him is 2 carat tiffany engagement ring. obviously he cannot buy on his own, but his parents tell him thats too much. am i being selfish? or is it his parents being selfish?
kinda long... sorry
2007-06-11 05:01:49 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What does it matter what you make or what he makes? Why are you putting a price on a ring? I was making over $100+ when my husband proposed and he was just getting started in the military making far far less. I could have cared less about a diamond and just wanted to start our life together as husband & wife. Sounds more like the ring is a status symbol for you to show the girls at work.
2007-06-11 05:11:35 · answer #1 · answered by linda m 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
If you make so much money.Go buy yourself a 2 carat ring.Just because you get engaged doesn't mean you have the god given right to an expensive ring.He doesn't make that kind of bank and you can't complain.Its not like you just met him.You knew his earning abilities weren't has good has yours.If he makes 40k a year.If you go by what the so called experts say is an appropriate amount to spend on a ring.The ring he purchases you should be around 10,000 at most.It is supposed to be around 3 months salary.But you know what marriages just don't last that long these days.And the whole paying major bank for a ring and wedding is just a waste of money.Money that could buy a nice house or car or be put into a retirement fund.And no offense but you need to mature a lot more before getting married you are way to me,me,me, acting instead of how a mature woman should act.If you cared for anyone but yourself.You would ask him to put the large sum of money you want him to put into a ring for you.Into finishing his education.If you want him to go to grad school than use the money for that.
2007-06-11 09:35:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are right you are not being selfish, but you are a heartless and an arrogant woman... read your own question again.
You have definitely put your guy down below you. Maybe belittling him is somethings that makes you feel good about yourself, makes you feel like you can smack him around.
Anyways when you know how much he makes and he cannot afford an expensive ring, but you still demand that he does. This is not only being selfish, but it is also being heartless and arrogant.
You only want a 2 carat Tiffany ring so that you can show if of to your friends and co-workers. Why don't you buy the ring yourself. I am sure what your befriend can afford will not make you feel proud off and will make you feel cheap.
You should date and marry someone who makes more money or has more money. With this attitude you will end up being a rich (maybe) lonely, pathetic, angry, divorced multiple time, old woman.
Good luck.
2007-06-11 05:27:37 · answer #3 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It's clear from your post that material possessions and wealth are of the utmost importance to you...if you want a 2 carat engagement ring fron tiffany and you don't get it will you turn down his proposal? Because really a ring is just a ring, it's what the ring symbolizes that really really matters!! Whether you want to hear it or not if you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him than accept what ever ring he offers with his proposal and treat yourself to a nice ring from tiffany's if it's that important to you...because honestly no 2 carat ring from any jewelers will keep you warm at night....
2007-06-11 05:13:04 · answer #4 · answered by juda75 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are being selfish any ring should do as long as you have the love of each other the ring is just a piece of metal and stone. I think you have to figure out what you want in life him or this stupid ring. If you want one so bad buy it yourself since it appears you can easily afford to buy one on your salary. Maybe it is your matrialistic values that has not made your man propose. I think you are more concerned what is on your finger then what the guy you are willing to spend the rest of your life with is truly like?. I think you need to grow up
have you not seen that bling doesn't mean nothing without the love. If bling was all that then why are celebrities always splitting up?.
2007-06-11 05:26:52 · answer #5 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
WTH!!!!!!!!! $55,000 FOR A RING?????? THAT COULD BUY A CAR!! OMGOODNESS! NO an expensive engagement ring is NOT important!!!!! As long as it is a ring that you give from your heart thats the important thing!!!!!!! I say the most anybody should spend on an engagement ring is $2,000 AT THE MOST of course if the guy can afford it. How about YOU BUY WHATS IN YOUR BUDGET and if she isnt happy with the ring then that will say a lot.
2016-03-24 02:46:29 · answer #6 · answered by Cynthia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to look at the future of your relationship. Seems like you need somebody whom make closer to what to make.
Don't expect him to buy you a 2 carat ring from tiffany. Don't expect his parent's to pay for either.
If you want the ring and the relationship, you better be ready to pay for the ring yourself.
2007-06-11 10:57:58 · answer #7 · answered by no_frills 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If he can't afford it its outta your reach unless you want to pitch in to help pay for that.
I personally think that women who tell a man what kinda ring she wants is being a bit selfish.. I didn't care what my husband bought me I didn't care if we were going to get married just so i knew i was going to be with him thats all that matters.. But to some women Money and Showing off what they have is more important... To each their own..
Its your life and your time together.. just remember when you 2 get married and if he is still paying off that ring.. you are going to basically be helping pay that off also... Good luck to you and congratulations on your Engagement that isn't there yet! Cheers!
2007-06-11 05:47:26 · answer #8 · answered by 04/12/2008 :) 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's selfish. That doesn't mean your desire is bad. The real question is what are you truly seeking from him that only a 2 carat Tiffany ring will satisfy?
2007-06-11 05:06:13 · answer #9 · answered by Brent 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
You are shallow, materialistic, and high maintenance. Money does not buy love, nor does the size of the diamond. You are asking him to spend probably one years salary on one ring for you. The rule of thumb is 3 months salary on the engagement ring. And i agree with whoever said something like you can want, but if he can't afford it, you aint gonna get it. YOu should graciously accept whatever he buys you.
2007-06-11 05:30:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋