Is it wrong to be a housewife?

Question

I just read the featured question that asks what your lifelong dream was. One person answered and said her lifelong dream was to get married, have children and be a stay at home wife and mother. She's married with 4 kids and happy to live her dream. Her answer has recieved 22 thumbs downs.

I'm not saying a woman should be held back from working if that is what she really wants, but why hold her back if her dream is to be a stay at home house wife? does it hurt the image of women in our society if a woman just wants to take care of her family?

My wife is a stay at home wife and mother and its what we both want. If she did work we would both be more stressed trying to take care of housework, our daughter would be raised by strangers in a day care, and she could barely make enough to pay for day care, so why should she work?

I'd like insight into why people fell it is wrong for a womans dream job to be homemaker. Its still a vital role in society isnt it?

lots of good answers so far, I just want to clarify that I do not think its wrong, my wife stays at home and there is nothing that can convince us to change that, I was just appauled that 22 people would thumbs down someone for saying that was her dream. Keep the good answers comming, its encouraging to hear so many people who still support family values.

Answer 1

feminists can't stand it when a woman wants to be a wife and mother. it offends them. feminists have spent several decades trying to destroy marriage. when a woman expresses happiness with one they go off the edge.

Answer 2

Because being a homemaker isn't a job, it's a role and some people might consider it an unpleasant one. And rightfully so, remember not too many years ago it was a requirement and before that a demand even.

But in a nut shell, being a housewife is not a bad thing. What I do suggest though is that women who really see this as a dream career should atleast go through college and get a degree first. Even if you'll be spending the next 15 years raising kids with IQs' barely past 100, education and academic maturity always comes first. Beside what happens when you hit menopause and your little ones are all grown up? It's a little hard to finish High School let alone college when your old enough to be a grandmother. Always be prepared for the unexpected, I don't know how many times I've seen stay at home moms get divorced or become widowed and struggle in the work force only because they depended solely on their partner and never bothered to get a degree.

Answer 3

First of all I agree with you that there is nothing wrong with being a housewife. My mother's dream was the same and she did very well too and was happy.

Traditionally the role of women was in the home as you probably know. The guy was the breadwinner and the woman managed the house and the kids. One of the problems with that tradition however was the being at home raising kids and keeping house was also considered a menial job, after all in the wealthier classes those things were done by maids and housekeepers, people at the bottom rung of the employment ladder. That was one of the things that kept women's rights stalled. After all, someone who is a mere housekeeper can't possibly do any "real" work or even really understand the issues of the day.

Throughout the twentieth century these attitudes began to change. It really started to hit a roll in the sixties with the feminist movement. By then women had the vote and they were working and this movement pushed for equal opportunity when it came to getting a job and also equal pay for equal work. If you look at what's happened since they've been quite successful. While there is still the odd sector when women don't get equal pay or have equal opportunity for the most part those are rare now.

Unfortunately the problem with the feminist movement at the time was that it focussed on getting a job and advancing in a career. Staying at home was no longer considered a viable option for women, if they were going to be whole they had to have a career. Basically the message being pushed was that women had to be freed from the shackles of housework and raising kids because as long as they were doing this, there couldn't be equal to men. In a way it was a reasonable message because if housework had been considered a career, then there would have been a backlash saying that and suggesting women should stay in the home after all since they already had a career.

It was a good message for its time I suppose, it did produce the desired results but I think it was also a bit too much. I remember my mother complaining in the early seventies that these people were wrong, keeping house and raising kids was a noble profession and a challenging one and that women had as much right to be respected in that role as in a corporate role.

Alas after a decade or two of campaigning of course these concepts sank into our society to the point where now women who stay at home are less than those who work. I think that's unfortunate but if it's going to change I think it is necessary to have yet another campaign to convince the society that being at home is ok too. In fact there are house husbands too and they too get as much derrision as stay at home women. Myabe it's time to put that to a stop.

Answer 4

Ironic, isnt it? During the oldened times, women were expected to be housewives. Eventhough there were women who wanted to become doctors, lawyers, and businesswomen, they were discriminated by the society. Saying that, women should just stay at home and do housechores.

And now, its the other way around.

Theres nothing wrong with being a housewife. In fact, a woman should be awfully proud of being a housewife. Its probably the hardest job a person can handle. Having to work 24hours a day, 7 days a week. Having to attend to each cry and complain of the family. Having to put your family first and yourself second.

I am proud of your wife for taking care of you and your family.

Answer 5

The ideal of gender equality is that women have the same options available to them as are to men, to take as their hearts desire.

Reading such a remark from a stranger, I would initially be concerned, because there are still places even in a nation like the USA where young women *aren't* taught that they can be something besides a wife and mother if something else appeals to them more - or if they are, it's with no small degree of disdain in comparison. But I have one acquaintance who is a stay-at-home mother, and another who is trying very hard to help get herself and her husband into a financial position where she could do so in the future. I support them both because I know both of them know other paths exist for them if they want - and this is what they want.

Answer 6

I think there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom. I would love to get married and stay at home with the kids.

My mom was a stay at home mom and I loved it because she was always there for everything. If it works for the family, why not?

That answer probably got 22 thumbs down because many women don't have the opportunity to be a stay at home mom because of financial reasons and in some eyes, people would think it is hurting women's image.

I'm all for it, whatever works for both people in the marriage.

Answer 7

I think if this person feels that is what she wanted in life, there is nothing wrong with that. There is absolutely nothing wrong in being a devoted wife and mother. We cannot all be the same in the sense that we have to have a career. Being a mother is a very important role as well as wife. Nurturing individuals especially children is something that is lacking in todays society, everyone is too busy putting their career first.

Answer 8

I think it is rude to look down on anyone's dream. Fifty years ago, most high school girls considered that "wife and mother" was the highest accomplishment.

I never wanted to be a wife and mom, but then I fell in love, and everything followed the normal course. It's not right for everyone, but it IS still important that there are women brave enough to do the hardest job there is.

Answer 9

You'd have to see what the 22 people with thumbs had to say as to why they felt that way. Some people really want that life.

Do you know what it takes to live that kind of life now? A good job from the hubby! So its more than just I want to be a stay at home mom its "I want a husband that is a provider and a loving husband/father" and from the sounds of it, she got that. Its deeper than just a stay at home mom, its security and love.

Answer 10

I think people should be able to have whatever dreams they want to have, and if they can make those dreams reality, good for them. My dream job is to be a stay at home mom, and has been since I was little. But, I 'm not just sitting around waiting for mister right to come and sweep me off my feet, and help me achieve my dreams. I'm getting my college education, and preparing for the future, so if someday I end up wanting to work I will be able to.

Answer 11

i dont think it is wrong at all, my mom was a stay at home mom, and well, she still is, even though im outta school and my 2 younger sisters are almost done with high school. i loved growing up like that, knowing that when i got home, my mom would be there. my dads a farmer so 3/4s of the time, he would be there too. i know that i grew up in a sorta fairytale life, and no one has a childhood like that i realize that im lucky, but i wouldnt trade my childhood for anything. for a long time, my dream was to be a stay at home mom, and is sorta still is, my dream now is to work from home, and still be able to take care of my family when they need it. i dont wanna have to send my kids to day care, or have them with babysitters. i wanna be there if they are outside playing and they scrape their knee, i wanna be the one to comfort them. so i cant even see y this lady got all the thumbs down thats just ****** stupid....i dont know why its such a bad thing