Is being too fat a good reason for my boyfriend to not wanna marry me?

Question

My boyfriend of almost 2 years said that if i didn't loose weight he wouldn't marry me! I just dont think its right. I would like some other opinions on the subject........Please! : )

Answer 1

Appearance is like a car. People will sometimes agonize for days about what colour or style the new car should be. However a month after they have it, the only thing they use colour and style for is to find the car in a parking lot. they never stop, admire it, and say what a lovely colour it is. Instead when you ask them about it they'll tell you how reliable it is, how comfortable, how it meets their needs.

It's no different when it comes to people. Sure eveyone is attracted to a bathing beauty but after a month or so they don't see that any more. Instead they start to talk about how caring she is, how loving, how smart, things like that. The appearance becomes a non issue.

And that's how is should be. Even if you have a pefect body, assuming there is such a thing, it won't stay perfect as you age, but what will get better and better all the time is how you are, how you've grown, things like that.

I think that anyone who does not appreciate your strengths, your character, the way you are as a human being, does not deserve you and is potentially nothing but trouble in the future. It's only shallow people who do not understand the road to happiness who place importance upon appearance alone. I think your boyfrend is one of those if he can't find anything positive about you that makes up for any shortcomings you may have physically.

And I'll leave you with one other thought too. The obsession that our society has with slim women is bizarre and a passing fad. Already the fashion industry is under enormous pressure to use models who are more typical of the body form that exists. And what should that ideal body form be?

Go to the art gallery sometime. Look at the masterpieces hanging on the walls, especially those from the rennaisance, but even modern ones. Have a look at the women. You won't find a single thin one. Instead you'll find them all somewhat robust, or in today's terms, fat. That was considered an ideal, healthy and very attractive body for centuries and it will be again just as soon as we get over our obsession with slimness. So if you're a bit chubby, my feeling is that you're a true ideal that should be admired and savoured and there will be centuries of guys who will agree with me. I wonder how many your boy friend can find from the past few centuries to agree with him? I bet it will be very few.

I'd suggest spending time with guys who really appreciate how you are as a human being and a woman, and avoid those who can only see your body and nothing else. The guys who only see your body actually need a telescope to look up to you. They're immature, infantile and they have no idea what it takes to be happy.

Answer 2

Its not a good reason but it happens a lot with couples and isn't uncommon. It however can be a good arguement for someone who does care enough to try to motivate you into wanting a healthier life style. Would you want to marry someone who is medically and physically overweight who could drop dead 5 yrs into the marriage from a heart attack?
Men arn't the best at expressing motivation to get their partner to lose weight, my dad made this same demand on my mom but different sircustances. They have been married almost 34 yrs and the last 22 she's been gaining weight and her heaviest was about 300-310 at 5'7. My husband and i joined a gym and got her to sign up as well. Her weight is slowly going down and I'm noticed her frame has slimmed down and she's having less problems with her joints and more energy.
I stay thin as a choice so I don't become plaiged with the same health problems my mother has developed due to her overweighted body.
Discuss your concerns with your bf about your weight and if he too can gain to lose some weight join a gym together or fitness class.

Answer 3

Hmmm. Let's look at this logically.

If he's been with you for 2 years and you've been heavy all that time - then he really has no reason for not marrying you just because you're heavy.

Therefore, it's logical to say that he's using any excuse he can think of not to marry you. It's not you - it's marriage - that he finds repugnant.

Trust me, lose the weight and he'll find some other reason why you're just not the girl for him.

But do lose the weight - once you see what a fox you are as a slender siren, you might just look at this selfish, shallow, self-centered loser from a new perspective - like from the back of his sorry-butt as you boot him out the door.

Answer 4

Here's a quick way to lose a lot of unsightly fat.Dump your sorry boyfriend.You don't want to marry someone like that.You need to marry someone whom loves you for you.And if you want to lose weight that that's great.But do it for your health and do it for yourself.But never because a man told you to.Life is full of uncertainty and you never know what will happen to you.You could get sick or have an accident and be unable to do things the same has you do them now.And if that were to happen wouldn't you want to by with someone whom will still love you and be there to support you.Not with someone whom would most likely walk out on you the first sign of trouble.

Answer 5

Mabe he just doesn't know how to tell you in a nicer way. Is he skinny? Do you still look the same as when he first met you?? It's hard to say, but only you know if having extra pounds on you bother you. What does your doctor say??

Get on a diet, lose some weight, it is only going to make you healthier and you will feel a whole lot better about yourself.

Then you decide if you are ready for marriage with this guy, when you start attracting a whole lot of other guys. Just make sure they like you as you are.

Good luck.

Answer 6

It may be that your boyfriend doesn't want to get married and is using your weight as an excuse. Whose idea was it to get married, yours or his? If he really does want to marry you and it is a matter of you losing a few pounds, lose the weight and be done with it (unless, of course, being fat is more important to you).

Answer 7

Lose. Not loose.

Who's to say what is right. If your weight is an issue for him, be thankful he is man enough to say so up front. At least you know where you stand.

That being said, even if you lose weight before getting married, if you're "naturally" heavy, you'll probably just gain it back afterwards. You need to ask yourself if you want to be with someone that feels this is an issue.

Answer 8

Have you always been overweight since he started dating you or have you put on some pounds? I would say if you have always been overweight he is being a jerk. If you have put on weight I think it's reasonable. Most women get comfortable in relationships and "let themselves go" and if you already are it would probably just get worse once you get married. Plus don't you want to look good in your wedding dress? I know it's mean and kind of shallow but men need the physical attraction. I know this because I have three brothers and a lot of guy friends. Just because you have someone doesn't mean you have to stop looking good.

Answer 9

That's a poor excuse for not wanting to get married. If he really and truly loved you, being fat shouldn't make a difference! One marries someone for what they are, not what they look like! What would happen if you were married and you got deathly sick, would he divorce you? When you get pregnant. you gain weight, what about then?

Answer 10

He can date you this way but won't marry you. That's a total cop out on his part. There is more to his story... I do not believe your weight would stop him from marrying you, he's just using that as an excuse.

I would move on and find another guy. This one is up to something and not being totally honest. If he truly loved you and wanted to marry you he would.