I had found a found number in my hubby's phone, called it. found out it was a girl that he said was his cousins girl ( she doesn't know any of his cousins) I asked her if she slept with my hubby she said no. But I had received a text about 4 weeks ago saying something about tasting her, ( hubby messed up the numbers). Well I confronted him about it Friday. He told me the reason thenumber was still in his phone was because she kept calling him and wanted to tell her to leave him alone that I came back home. And that it never went pass talking.
My problem is how to get over it..I want to believe him given he has said he was sorry all weekend, and keeps telling me nothing more than talking happened. ( we never had a cheating or trust problem before) But I just zone out and start crying and I dont know how to stop..I'm hurt that while we were seperated and I'm pregnant with his child that he could even talk to another girl.
Any advice would be nice.
2007-06-11 04:29:07 · 24 answers · asked by ERICKSMAMA 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is understandable that you are upset and hurt, and you are not sure whether to believe him or not. Has she called ever called him since? If not then maybe you should give him the benefit of the doubt. He may have just thought you and him were never getting back together again and was desperate to talk to someone to make him feel better?? He sounds sincere since he has been apologizing and being sensitive with you. "If he were Ross from friends he would have screamed (We were on a BREAK)" just trying to cheer you up :) What do you think of telling him that you need time to get over this and you would like him to leave the subject alone for a while until you are stronger, in the meanwhile enjoy your child together, your baby is the most important thing right now. Good luck
2007-06-11 04:39:24 · answer #1 · answered by piano19 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to be very very strong to make things work after he has been with someone else even while you guys were on a break [remember Friends? sorry! :)] Anyways, I am the same way, I would have to know where, how, when, was it good, how long, how many times, all of the details or it would drive me nuts. Maybe you two should try counseling, even though you've agreed to start with a clean slate, if it's on your mind, things are going to be difficult. I wonder if he would be okay with it if you would have slept with someone else while you two were apart? I don't think i could do it, but that's just me, i can be a very jealous person. I wish you the best of luck. Please make sure you are getting back together for the right reasons as well, you broke up for a reason right?
2016-05-17 08:21:17 · answer #2 · answered by ingrid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it honey but you're going to have to charge this one to the game, have a coke and a smile and move on to someone more deserving of you and your baby.
He should have thought about all that before he went out and did it...and now that element of trust is always going to be in question with the two of you...its not just something you're going to have a light-bulb go off over your head and have the answer one day...its something that you BOTH are going to have to work very hard at and if you're both willing to give it another go-round, then maybe something good can come of it.
2007-06-11 05:10:45 · answer #3 · answered by soultrouble 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's the price you pay for the separation. He must have needed someone to turn to and you were not there.
That was then and you weren't together- now you are-so here is what you do...
Anyway tell him to end it now- he can call her right now, in front of you, while you listen in on the other line. He must tell her about you and that he loves you and is going to stay with you and that she is no longer in the picture. The end.
Then if he has a Sim card you can switch his with your for awhile to really know the scoop. Also if you want go on-line to your cellular provider and see every call that was made to and from him.
2007-06-11 04:38:32 · answer #4 · answered by momof2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
SO, you left him while pregnant? Then came back and can't believe that while you left him he could have talked to another woman? You wanted him to pine away for you while you were gone, sit at home and think how miserable he is without you? BUT now that you came back home and he wasn't miserable while you were gone you are mad at him?
You need to focus on the future or the past will ruin your relationship! NEVER leave if you want it to work, stay and work things out! FORGET THE PAST and work for the future!
Just my opinion from the info you gave!
2007-06-11 04:35:53 · answer #5 · answered by me4tennessee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you had enough problems to be separated. First comes trust then comes the secure marriage, when my husband and I separated while I was pregnant, I have no clue what he was doing, as he has no clue to what i was doing. we were not together. Just hope that if he was with someone he used protection. I am sorry, if you want your marriage to work you can not dwell on what he may have or have not done while you were out of the picture. Your mind is your own enemy. Good luck
2007-06-11 04:34:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i suggest you two get some counseling. i cant believe that just b/c you were seperated he about gave up on the two of you and started seeing someone else. you need to ask him some serious questions and then decide weather or not you want to continue in this relationship. he also needs to call that girl and tell her it is over and then change his number. then you need to keep an eye on not only his cell phone but the bill and if that number comes up again then you have your answer.
good luck.
2007-06-11 06:55:10 · answer #7 · answered by becca_2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, honey. I'm so sorry.
I know you want to believe him, but I think you need to be realistic. I know it hurts- my ex repeatedly cheated on me through the course of 9 years and two children...
My advice is to trust your instinct. Move on now and make sure he's listed as the father on the birth certificate. File for child support immediately.
Hugs-
2007-06-11 04:38:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were seperated... I don't believe he should have spoken to this other woman, but nowadays people think seperated is as good as divorced... so technically, he did nothing wrong.
Now it is up to you. If you want this to work you have to learn to forgive and move past this. If you can't then don't waste your time with him. There is no trust problem here.... you were seperated and he didn't do anything but talk to her. You can dwell on that and let it destroy your marriage or you can move past it and start your life again with him.
2007-06-11 04:34:21 · answer #9 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he wants you to believe him, he needs to prove that he is trustworthy. Throw out the suggestion to leave his phone at home if he's going to the grocery store, or ask him to change his number, or call him to let him know where he is if you're suspecting that he's cheating. It sounds pretty fishy to me, I wouldn't believe him if I were in your position, but you have to do what you think you should do.
2007-06-11 04:32:31 · answer #10 · answered by Manhan32 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋