Do you consider this polite or are you offended by it?

Question

If a stranger calls you sweetheart, hun etc...Usually it is the older women with me and makes me feel kind of childish..LOL However, I was standing in line at a fast food place and these three guys were having a discussion in front of me. They were saying ask any woman so the one being told he was wrong said hey, there is one so I asked what do you need to know. One of the men had told the woman behind the counter take your time sweetheart and his buddies said he shouldn't have. This is USA....It is my understanding after talking to a few guys from the UK it is more common there, almost all immediately referred to me as hun or darling.. Also if your a guy do you consider it a polite thing to do? He said he just does it to be polite not like he was hitting on her or anything....

Just yesterday a woman cashier called me sweetie at least 3 times....LOL

Answer 1

i find it polite and respectful.

Answer 2

This happens mostly in the southern or eastern US. The people doing this kind of thing (Not the guy in the line in front of you. I think he was trying to pick-up something besides the food. He was being rude because he wasn't on a friendship level with the person behind the counter.) are not trying to be rude or anything else. They start using these terms of endearment from a young age, probably from them being used as they were growing up, and they keep using them as they get older. Some people copy what they have seen or heard without realizing it and they mean no harm. Humphrey Bogart, in his movies of the 30's, 40's and 50's used to call every female "sweetheart" or "kid" that was of his interest in the plot of the movie. It sort of became his "trademark".

I traveled to the state of Tennessee once when I was a younger newly wed and had a waitress serving me call me hun and put her hand on my shoulder every time she came by my table. It was the first time I had experienced it and it took some time for me to get used to it, since I wasn't from the south. My wife was there with me and she, having been born in the south, told me it was a normal thing that mostly older people do. The waitress really wasn't being anything more than just friendly and maybe was trying to earn a bigger tip. Most people using these terms while working aren't meaning anything more than just being friendly. It's like when someone says "How are you doing?" They really don't want to know your life's story. They are just saying "Hi".

Answer 3

I really think it depends on how it was said and what the intention was. If the intention was genuinely to be friendly, that's maybe OK and I think you can tell when someone is being patronising and that's not OK. On the whole I think it's not a terribly good idea if you don't know the other person very well, as they might take offence.
Here in the UK we also have regional variations, with 'darling', 'ducky' and 'my love' all among the everyday greetings we use for complete strangers!

Answer 4

Absolutely not offended. I'd would like to be called Love every time someone spoke to me if I could. Maybe I should move to the UK. If someone one calls me some flirtatious name and proceeds to make comments about my body or my love/personal life than they better put on their fighting shoes.
I feel the same way about chivalry (opening doors, helping with coat, ordering dinner out). It seems as though men have stooped doing these things because (they say) women want equality. News Flash: Women want equality, not an end to chivalry.

Answer 5

I guess it's a matter of preference and culture.
I know some people are offended or just annoyed by words like "hun, sweetheart, sweetie, sugar"...I guess it depends on the demeanor of the person using the word, whether or not they are a stranger, and the type of context it is being used.

I wouldn't think it immediatley to be intentionally offensive, so I would just brush it off.

"hun, sweetheart, sweetie"...isn't quite the same as saying "sweet t!ts, candy @ss, sugar buns, honey buns, sugar lips, muffins" > that is sexually/explicitly referring to a specific body part.

Answer 6

It is offensive.

Your name is the most important thing you own.

Before you are born your parents have probably named you.

Long after you are dead and gone it is the only thing that was given to you and can never be taken away.

Even Adolf Hitler is still Adolf Hitler despite his body being burned and going down in infamy, he still owns his name, even in Hell.

Sweetheart and Darlin can be used in as a brush-off, not so much the word hun. In Australia they use the word "Love" but it's often only uttered by the poor as are the other words.

Nobody should be unduly informal with another without their express permission.

Language is the apparel of thought, clothe it not in shoddy attire.

Answer 7

I think it depends on the context in which it was used. But generally speaking, I've spoken to a lot of guys before, and just out of habit, I guess, they say "sweetheart". I never took offense to it. But I guess it could also depend on the woman. I'm pretty sure there are some women who wouldn't appreciate a guy saying that to them.

Answer 8

i like it. I think it is more endearing to be called sweetie or hon than rude. I do it to people too, i never thought anyone would get offended....sorry. It is also very common in the southern U.S. sweetheart and darlin' are used frequently when addressing a woman. I don't see it as an age thing at all. i say it to the older women i work with and they don't mind, one of them calls me babygirl everyday and i like it.

Answer 9

I am from the south.
Every one is honey, darling, sugar or baby,
No offense intended most of the time.
I have traveled the world over and dispute what most might think or say.
American men for the most part are genuine gentleman.
Southern men in my family call women honey, sugar darling with affection.......... Yes mamn! lol I love it when it is said respect............................ Folks need to lighten up and not be so grouchy and take offence so easy! thanks This southern woman spoke her truth! This Honey is cherished and proud of it!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
it was polite of those men to ask if it was offensive too!

Answer 10

I'm from the South and here....we, especially older women....call everyone a term of endearment. If they don't say "Hon" or "Sweetie" then they don't like you for some reason. We don't take kindly to being called "girls." That will start an argument. I truly don't think they said it to be rude. Men can find lots of ways to say things to be rude to a woman if they want to.

Answer 11

I get it "Honey, sweetheart" etc from both genders and many ages younger and older.

Depends on the context too, whether I'm offended or not.

Rarely am I offended by it, lest I hear an "attitude" going on.