Women; you know what I'm talking about...the wife gets sick and the husband is suddenly sick also...the wife has a hard day but when she brings it up the husband says how much harder his day was..etc etc
In all my talks with other wives and girlfriends, this is by no means rare, but rather commonplace. Why do men find it so hard to give a woman attention when she needs it? I realize many women are drama queens and so on, but I'm talking about normal, run-of-the-mill relationships.
My husband thinks I am the best wife ever, and I try to be. I anticipate his needs, I pamper him when he needs it, and he does not have to lift a finger when he gets home. But if I need some TLC...say a backrub when I'm PMSing, or I get sick...all of a sudden it's like I'm asking him to do the most pain-in-the-*** chore ever. A big sigh, rolling the eyes, then a lame 5 minute backrub (for example), which they remind you about for the next 3 months. WHY??? Can anyone give me some insight?
2007-06-11 03:49:12 · 13 answers · asked by art-nerd 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because he's a man and most men want to be fussed over....but don't like to reciprocate. A lot of them are still chauvinistic and feel the wife is their 'slave'. They are also moodier....talk about women and PMS! A man can be as sweet as pie one minute, and treat you like dirt the next!
If my hubby's in a good mood, at odd times he will do the dishes. I never ask. But there are times when I will ask him for a coffee if I'm busy, and he will do the rolling eye thing too. We are both semi retired and spend every day together.
Other times he expects me to wait on him hand and foot because he has mowed our tiny lawn. It's a man thing hon. But we love 'em when they're good.
2007-06-11 04:09:16 · answer #1 · answered by Chatterbox 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Insight honey, he's a man!!!! Do you think that there is a man out there like what we need and want? That would be too easy- Simplify your life, expect nothing!!!! Do not look for rewards and go to the chricopracter monthly right about that same time you're PMSing that is what I do and the adjustment are needed and there is always a massage. Sorry ut this is what works for me. My husband is there for me to pamper and comfort, only occasionally will he pamper and comfort me and do things that give me a smile.... I take the good with the bad b/c this is the decision I made and untill I can't take no more and/or untill I can't find any more solutions I'll be there... P.S. I have "pamper yourself day" once a month, every second week of the month. I get my nails done or my hair done or do buy something or just take a nice long bathe what ever it's just for me... He doesn't know it and if he did he'd take it away, he hasn't caught on to this times when I'm pampering myself I just tell him what it is I am doing for myself at the time and ask him not to bother me I'm and I do what ever it is my heart desires - not cheat but nice things for my self soemtimes I don't even have to tell him b/c he's bussy with buddies......
2007-06-11 04:13:49 · answer #2 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No stack what you talked to others to your favor. You just happened to marry that kind of guys. Few men, who are in mature and responsible relationships with a family, can go home without lifting a finger. We all have our chores and will do them as part of life. We bring flowers on Valentine Day, her birthday, anniversary, Mother's Day, and so forth. Everybody gets sick now and then and the other side just picks up the slack. This is called shared responsibilities.
Only little kids exaggerate the amount of work they have done to their parents to get approval and rewards.
2007-06-11 03:59:02 · answer #3 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I must confess, that sounds a little like me and my wife. I love my wife and I think I am a good husband to her, but I probably don't give her all the attention she needs. She knows I'm not a very talkative person and that I don't need alot of attention from her. I was a bachelor for quite a while before our 2 years of marriage, so I'm used to alot of quiet time.
And you mentioned 'drama queens' - that may be one of the reasons I don't talk alot around her. She put us through alot of drama early in our relationship and most of it was way overblown. I guess I've learned to block most of it out. But now, I block out alot of the things she says. I don't ingore her alltogether, but I know I don't communicate with her as much as I should. I am working on it though.
2007-06-11 03:58:08 · answer #4 · answered by DJ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All his life he has been taken care of Mommy was always there to wipe his nose, pick up behind him etc
then he marries... here we go filling in mommies shoes
IT SUCKS
they are not as small children taught to care for some one else.
and when we marry like I said we jump in there and cook clean and yea we can be passed out for an 30 min period before they realize we are passed out it is sad... BUT NOW NOT MEN ARE LIKE THIS
I have one brother who is a great husband to his wife and I am proud of him for it I have 7 brothers ONLY ONE IS A REAL GOOD HUSBAND BAD ODDS HUH
I wish all men could and would read this what you wrote they need to wise up and see how they are because they do not even realize they are cold jerks when it comes to US needing them.
Maybe we as wifes should see ahead and sit em down the day we marry em and say HEY BUD THIS IS HOW IT IS SUPPOSE TO BE... but as a mom of a son I hope I raised my son to be intune to his woman as far as her needs... Time will tell
2007-06-11 03:58:55 · answer #5 · answered by Peggy C 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You set the standard. Why should he change. Income, finances, chores, house work, cooking, cleaning, pampering, etc. are all responsibilities that are delegated during the course of a relationship. Good communication can change the standards but it takes patience, understanding, and time.
2007-06-11 04:00:06 · answer #6 · answered by Ray2play 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are the one spoiling him. Either stop it, or live without attention to your true needs. Its like a child, if you don't lay out your expectations, then how is he/she supposed to know what to do? Of course you are the best wife ever, but you highly resent him. Tell him this, its a two way marriage.
2007-06-11 03:54:03 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Selfish men have this problem. Selfish women have this problem. Seems like you're both selfish and both want pity all of th time.
Men like me are not like that. I always give my wifeatention, but thenagain i had three sisters growing up and if i ever mistreated my wife I would be so guilty. They'd kick my butt.
Ever thought of telling him (not yelling at him) that it really bothers you that he acts this way, and why it bothers you?
2007-06-11 03:54:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you just described my husband. I'm waiting to see if you get any good answers on this one, because I sure don't know why they're like that.
2007-06-11 03:55:24 · answer #9 · answered by Chris H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people, people, pe-ee-eeople!!! Has our society become this selfish? Marriage isn't about constant attention, and this is where you find out whether or not you are strong enough for marriage. It's about sacrifice. What are YOU willing to give up? If you can't come to terms with sacrifice, you'll never be happy.....with anyone.
Yeh.
2007-06-11 03:55:45 · answer #10 · answered by idigitaldestiny 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋