I still feel sorry about our divorce..I've been trying to let it go for years. I've already apologized several times in the past. I'm married now and I'm trying to forgive myself. HELP!!
2007-06-11 03:30:25 · 16 answers · asked by football2002 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sir the Bible says some things only come out by, fast and prayer. Starve your eyes too. That means try not to look at any other woman except your new wife.
2007-06-11 03:43:25 · answer #1 · answered by Lamar N 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I can only assume by what you've written that you were the one that wanted the divorce and it sounds like you are having regrets.
People go through changes during relationships, but one must realize that when they are unhappy or they think they don't love their spouse anymore, it usually is a phase and it will pass. Many people jump into divorce too soon - before they give their marriage a chance.
You can't continue to beat yourself up over this. You have a new wife and a new life now. Please consider counseling. You need to forgive yourself, let go and move on.
All the best to you!
2007-06-11 10:53:43 · answer #2 · answered by Lila 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some times we really screw up. We are humans and don't always make the best choices for ourselves and the ones around us. You've already apologized several times but perhaps you think she is supposed to accept that and set you free. That's not how it works. Allow yourself to actually grieve over the loss of this relationship and marriage. Apologize to yourself for screwing up and then leave it all behind. If you haven't gotten rid of, or given away all the memorabilia from that life, then do so. Concentrate on your current wife, so you don't screw up again. You got a second chance, take it.
2007-06-11 10:40:55 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you're on the right path man, you have to forgive yourself and move on. Except the fact that it happened 5 years ago and let it go. Or maybe there's a reason for not letting go? But then again, you already got divorced so I'm sure there's plenty of reasons for that! DAMN YOU GOT ME ALL CONFUSED NOW TOO!!!
2007-06-11 10:34:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things happen in life. Yes, therapy is one route, but you have to remember that you are human. People make mistakes. And one that you are making now is concentrating on things from that past that are done, over with and won't change. You mistake is you are mulling over your last marriage when you are in another one that should be getting your full attention. If you blow this one, you'll have 2 divorces to be sorry about. You need to let it go and not feel guilty or sorry anymore. You've paid your debt and definitely learned from it. Cherish the moment now and be glad you have it.
2007-06-11 10:41:01 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly773 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what happened to implode your first marriage, but you need to take a long, hard look at what occurred. Was it infidelity on your part? Hers? Lack of communication? Trust issues? Did you grow apart? Sometimes when a relationship ends, we latch on to the positive aspects of the lost relationship, without really looking at the negatives that ended it. You say that you have remarried? Are you happy in your current relationship? Was it a "boomerang" relationship, because you divorced? If it was, it's unfair to your new wife, and you need to assess whether you need to stay together or be apart, Most importantly, you need to talk to a professional, to sort out your unresolved feelings, and to close one chapter of your life and live the next fully. Good luck and God bless.
2007-06-11 10:56:27 · answer #6 · answered by Judy W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you are married now, to a different person, and your ex, well, she is your EX.
You are digging yourself into a useless spiral of endless futility, nothing comes out of a guilt trip but a bigger price to pay; If you don't want your current marriage to end up like the first, make sure your focus on your new wife and give all you got to this marriage.
Good luck.
2007-06-11 10:49:28 · answer #7 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's funny!! I've always wondered if my ex felt that way about me? but I doubt it otherwise why wouldn't he have tried to contact me and it's been way more than 5 years. Maybe you feel guilty for ending the marriage or the way in which it ended!!! and there will probably always be a place in your heart for her, because when your apart for that amount of time you only remember the good times.
2007-06-11 10:49:01 · answer #8 · answered by 24Special 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey man, I made some mistakes in my first marriage too--but so did she. It happens and sometimes causes divorces, but we all make mistakes.
Would she ever have been able to make me as happy as I am today in my new marriage? Not a chance! Could I have made her truly happy if we had stayed together? Years later I would have to say no.
Don't beat yourself up too much over it...admit your guilt, talk about it with whoever you're comfortable with, and ask yourself those two questions and one more--Are you happy now?
Good luck.
2007-06-11 10:39:21 · answer #9 · answered by boomerdude 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing anyone can say here that is going to make a difference except this: get some therapy. Sounds like the easy way out, but I assure you it is not. It will make a world of difference. I highly recommend it for someone in your situation. Good luck!
2007-06-11 10:33:27 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋