I am so depressed with life. I moved to the South after living in the North my whole life.?

Question

I left friends and fun area - but lots of debt - to be closer to my family. I've been living with my parents b/c of their failing health & to get my finances under control. It's been 7 yrs!! I hate my job, my life, my old friends have moved on & don't talk to me anymore. I feel so alone and hopeless.

I want a new life. I'm in my late 40's, 1 divorce, no kids, no debt anymore - yippee!! But I feel so hopeless abt life. I want to change but have no motivation. I want to change careers & would not be adverse to moving away from my family.

Advice anyone??? How can I change?

I have no idea what christinane is talking about????

Answer 1

Im younger than you but Ive moved around (countries) 3 times and understand how that can be.
I would advize you to change everything in your life. Youve been so busy sorting out your debt and being a good daughter that you havent been looking after yourself!
1. Move-again-to somewhere that you like, it doesnt have to be far from your prents if they have health issues, just somewhere where YOU love!
2. Find an interest-painting, cycling, gym etc and pursue it. (theres always things in the newspaper and dont be shy theres also always someone in a similar position to you)
3. Change your job-start looking-theres millions of them, just find something you like(youve got no dependants so even if its a different field, one that you enjoy, but it pays less-you can still do it coz youve only got one mouth to feed!!)
4. Get a make over-even if its far too expensive, its worth it for the person you love isnt it(yourself)??
5. Set aside one evening-amongst all the interest pursuing!-to take a bubble bath, cnadles, watch a bunch of your favorite movies and treat yourself.
6. Buy a pet-whatever your choice is a dog, cat, bird, mouse anything, (recommend a dog) they are awsome companions, and wont leave the toilet seat up, break your heart or just be a guy...plus itll help you to not feel so bad now while youre 'transitioning' from depressed and bored to better happier and healthier!!

I know this is all scary, but sometimes thats really good. I really think change in every aspect of your life will help, also after youve secured yourself as a happy, healthy, confident independant woman Im sure all the guys will come running and if they dont-screw them you can always buy another dog in 20 odd years!!

Answer 2

First off stop feeling sorry for yourself, yeah life sucks but you can always change it....First thing if you don't like living in the south then move back up north, if you can't then find a new area close by that you enjoy and move there.Next just because you had a divorce it's not the end of the world, start dating again, relationships are always a boost, maybe even try a vacation to get away for awhile.About your career, do what you want or you will spend the rest of your life regretting it, even if it's not the best pay in the world do it anyway.Finally if your so miserable about you current state then you should talk to someone about it, like someone in your family and tell them how you feel and that you need a major change, but just don't be really mean about it.Oh and before I forget, if you find a new job chances are you will meet some new people and make some new friends=]

Answer 3

First you have to congratulate yourself for getting out of debt.
Next- realize that your real reason for being there is to help out your parents. Not much you can do about that.
All jobs are tedious and life is what you make it no matter where you live, but going North to South wow culture shock! The friends you had up in the North would have moved on without you by now anyhow. Make new friends get a hobby join a club.
Each day is a new adventure. Take walks when you can take a break from Mom and Dad. Volunteer your time- even if it is only and hour a day. Things will change and you can re focus on a dream later. Your responsibility is your parents.

Answer 4

It appears you are ready to go, all that's left is to jump. What's the worst that can happen, you'll end up unhappy where you go? You're already unhappy. Get excited and make plans and don't let the little voices in your head take over. If you are out of debt and in good enough health to get a job that will support you then do it.
By the way I am from the north and also in my late 40's. I tried living down south as well and couldn't make it work for me either. I didn't give it near as long as you did, only six months and I was gone, so its not like you haven't tried, 7 Years!!!, YUCH!!!)

Answer 5

i myself lived up north my whole life also untill i moved to NC for three years..it was the worst 3 years of my life....i have found the seasons have alot to do with it..may sound strange but when you are used to that and dont have it anymore it can effect you..so i moved to PA a happy middle..i would say to have a good talk with yourself about what you would really enjoy doing and start to set the wheel sin motion to get it..if you are now debt free it is a good time to take some risks that will bring you closer to a job you love...and if you dont like yourself right now how can anyone else like you..you need to start to try new things and in turn you will meet more people..i know change is scary but once you start the ride itself is well worth the effort

Answer 6

I understand this is going to be easier said than done.

Usually with people who are depressed, one of the things is to get them to make an activity schedule --- writing down things you need to do for a certain day and these can include small things such as reading a book or calling a friend to things like going out to dinner or a movie.

You've said that you've lost touch with your old friends --- is there any possibility of regaining contact even if it does take initiation from your part? If not, maybe you could join a group (such as a book club or a drama group --- basically something that interests you) or even a gym or go for classes where you can get to meet people and make friends.

The key thing about depression is making an effort to get out of it --- especially when it isn't clinical depression and you do have the ability to do something about it.

Good luck!

Hope this helps...

Answer 7

Living in the South is enough to depress anyone after having been in the North your whole life. My parents had moved to the South and I hated it there. Congratulations for getting out of debt. I am in a new career at 50, so it's possible. Decide what you want to do and take it a step at a time.

Answer 8

U must change your life! U can do this is not that bad how do u think about it .U can find new men new job and new life but u must really want this and do it something in this direction not just crying .I know it's hard but u must believe in yourself ( change your hair , clothes your house )go to nice places is lots of alone peoples who need somebody just like u ) I believe that your life will be better and I wish u this positive changes.

Answer 9

Start with small goals and work up, say you want to get into better shape or some such, start by setting a small goal of working out once a week and then go from there...

what sort of career would interest you? what do you think would be fun &/or fulfilling to do?

BTW congrats on being out of debt! it's a huge accomplishment just to do that!

Answer 10

Well, congrats on being out of debt. Now focus on the life you want to have, work toward it, don't live beyond your means, and don't count on other people to "make you happy". That part is up to you. Once you are happy with yourself, life with others will be easier and happier. Good Luck.

Oh, and don't eat gum off the sidewalk.