I am divorced with two daughters from my marriage. I sometimes take my daughters shopping to buy them clothes and things they may need. I have am infant son with my girlfriend and she becomes angry when I spend money on my daughters. She feels like I am doing my ex-wife a favor by buying my daughters clothes. I pay $600/month in child support on my two daughters and $500 for my son. I also buy things for my infant son. I see no problem with how I spend my money. Am I wrong?
2007-06-11 02:50:40 · 22 answers · asked by southern_border_texan_70 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are not wrong...these girls are your children and it is only normal to want to nurture and give them things. I commend you for not looking at child support as if it is to cover everything your children need...sometimes just a little something special - especially to a little girl from her father means so much.
2007-06-11 02:56:16 · answer #1 · answered by linda m 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, that child support money is supposed to go toward the clothes. If you're spending that much in child support AND buying the clothes, what is your ex wife doing with the money?
In truth, you ARE helping your ex-wife out. If you're okay with that, then that's your business. But be careful that your ex-wife doesn't begin to rely on this and take advantage of it. And if your girlfriend will eventually become your new wife, you need to take her opinions into consideration.
Why do you want these shopping sprees? Perhaps you see it as the only way to spend time with your daughters. It's not. Perhaps you think that you have to buy these things because your ex-wife won't. If this is the case, you need to take her back to court.
2007-06-11 03:18:49 · answer #2 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is awesome of you to buy your daughters things above and beyond the child support. In response to the person wanting to know what the ex was doing with the $600 a month in child support--apparently they have NEVER bought food for kids or tried to keep a roof over their heads. I say keep up the good work dad. As far as your girlfriend-tell her she has to learn to deal with it. But also reassure her that you love her and your son too.
2007-06-11 04:32:36 · answer #3 · answered by mom of 5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your g/f is jealous and think this through, she is jealous of two little girls. Unless you are planning on a lifelong commitment with this woman, she's got nothing to say about your money and how you spend it. Your daughters, however, will be taking care of you all your days. Daughters do that, sons don't. Do right by them, make sure they get good educations so that they can have good careers and good lives. It will be your daughters at your side when you pass, not that g/f.
2007-06-11 02:58:00 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you spending money on your daughters. You are paying her child support and she is your girlfriend and you spend money on him also.
Tell her if she can't except your daughters and the fact that you are doing the things that a father should do then she can get her walking papers.
She should be proud that she has a man that despite his separation from his ex wife he is still willing to be there for his daughters and not be a dead beat dad.
The nerve of her she should be proud.
2007-06-11 03:11:56 · answer #5 · answered by mrsknowitall 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend is thinking that's what the childsupport is for. Your ex-wife should be buying the girls' clothes witht the child-support money. After all, it IS coming out of your pocket. (the child-support money. )Maybe you are just wanting to buy extra things for them yourself and FEEL the gratification of doing it yourself. The other way,the ex-wife takes your money and gets to take the girls shopping and gets the gratification of buying them clothes. They feel like mom is paying for it, not you. Is this how you feel? If you are taking them shopping and they really don't need the clothes, you might consider putting that money in a savings for their college. Is your -ex wife not buying the girls clothes, so you feel obligated to? Or is she buying them clothes and you just want to duplicate what she has already done? I think you need to make your money work for you and put it where it's needed. Do you live in separate towns?states? Use your money wisely because you also need to take care of surprise expenses for yourself and plan for retirement.
2007-06-11 03:10:47 · answer #6 · answered by The pink panther 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not wrong. Your girlfriend sounds very jealous. This isn't good if you're thinking of having a future with her. When your son gets older, you can take him shopping for things too. Right now he's an infant and doesn't need much. Continue what you're doing as long as you don't go overboard from guilty feelings of not being there for your daughtes, but you also need to ask yourself if this woman you're with is really who you want to be with. As a mother, she should be totally supportive of what you're doing.
2007-06-11 02:59:24 · answer #7 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because they can buy cigarettes doesn't mean they're rich or anything, even if they buy a lot of them, it doesn't really compare to the price of insurance, gasoline, rent/housing cost. But yeah I think its a little unfair, a parent should give a little money to their kid, or at least let them earn it somehow. Just don't become money hungry over this or anything. The most important thing is that you have a house and food and hopefully good health conditions.
2016-05-17 07:44:29 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all!!! Your girlfriend is being immiture and selfish. Your daughters need more than just a child support payment..they need quality time with both parents. Doing your part yto make sure your girls have what they need perfectly ok....it's part of being a parent. You're taking care of the most important people in your life....your children. Tell your gf to get over it.
2007-06-11 02:56:25 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel-Pit Police-DSMG 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NOOOOOOOO YOUR NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG... IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND HAS EVERYTHING SHE NEEDS AND THE BABY HAS ALL HE NEEDS.. SHE SHOULD BACK OFF AND LET YOU GET YOUR KIDS SOME GIFTS.. THAT MONEY YOUR PAYING IS OBLIGATORY FOR CHILD SUPPORT... GIFTS ARE DIFFERENT THEY COME FROM YOUR HEART.. SHE IS BEING SELFISH AND INCONSIDERATE... YOU KEEP BEING A GOOD DAD.. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.. SOON YOUR GILRS WILL BE GROWN AND YOUR GOING TO BE SATISFY THAT YOU DID ALL OF THIS FOR THEM.. AND THEY ARE GOING TO ALWAYS THINK HIGHLY OF YOU.. DAD TAKE US SHOPPING EVEN THOUGH HE SUPPORTS US... THEY WILL KNOW YOU DOING IT OUT OF LOVE.. YOU CANT NEVER GIVE YOUR CHILDREN ENOUGH... YOUR A GOOD DAD.. KEEP DOING A GOOD JOB.. GIRLFRIEND JUST GOING TO HAVE TO ACCEPT.. GOOD LUCK.
2007-06-11 03:44:07 · answer #10 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋