whenever i catch him with a woman it becomes a great problem am turned into a boxing bag i feel so bitter and so confused plz advice
2007-06-11 02:28:35 · 33 answers · asked by ma pi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wowwwwwwww, and you need to ask. If you feel ok about being a dorr mat and a boxing bag then stay do not put up a fight. Me personally i would not stand for it its obvious that he was not ready to be a married man and abide by the laws of marriage, and why should it be fair to you to stick around while he is living a single life. Guys are so weird to me
2007-06-11 02:31:12 · answer #1 · answered by Yanni 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Somewhat understanding your issue from experience, I must say that you need to totally evaluate your heart and your husband's as best as you can. I work with couples a lot at church and there are many couples who can put their marriages back together and some who have proven to be very wonderful thriving marriages for years after a mishap like this. Then there are those couples who can not get past the issue of unfaithfulness (and they are not exactly expected to). If you and your husband mutually decide that the marriage is going to continue to be an unfaithful and untrusting marriage, an unhappy and a battling marriage - I would say it'd be best to part yourselves seeking the Lord first for His will and direction for your lives still. If you are fighting with one another to the point where it gets in the way of your number one relationship with God then it is an issue.
Understand that I would not encourage divorce, however. I myself am in a marriage where there has been unfaithfulness in this way. I know it hurts and the trust is severly broken. Remember, with both spouses willing, the trust can be regained and the marriage can be salvaged. Good luck to you and I've already said a prayer for you.
One other thing...if this relationship has become abusive, God would not want you to be in an unsafe unhealthy situation as that. Please get out of the situation and get help. Then determine if this relationship could be repaired. My father was abusive and the abuse is addictive, realize that this alone could be more of an issue than the unfaithfulness. Hugs to you.
2007-06-11 02:41:03 · answer #2 · answered by Jamie K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go! Get out now before you become deformed or a corpse on a slab. No one deserves to be a punching bag. Been there done that. Also, unless you both agree that you want an open marriage, no one deserves to be cheated on. Been on both sides of the fence on that one too. Definitely leave. You gave it 6 yrs. If it hasn't worked by now, it never will. Use the rest of your life to find someone that will care for you the way you should be treated. I spent 20+ yrs. in a bad relationship because I kept thinking "he'll change", "I can change him. Nope. I'm sorry to say, I couldn't... And he didn't. Now I'm 48 with no one and nothing because he trashed all my credit and everything has been repossessed. So I know I'm right when I tell you to bail out now girlfriend. Good luck to you.
2007-06-11 02:35:30 · answer #3 · answered by Kelly773 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's never been faithful, then why are you now wondering if you should leave? He's lowered your self esteem where you can't see for yourself that you need to get the courage to pack your bags and leave, or kick him out of the house. If he's abusing you, have him arrested! It takes courage, but don't let him get away with this. You deserve more to life than what you're getting. Talk to a family member about being in the house when you kick him out because he probably won't touch you with a witness around. Get a restraining order against him and change the locks on your house. It's time you take control of your life, instead of him controlling you. Good luck.
2007-06-11 02:52:17 · answer #4 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say that you 'catch him' but what does this mean? Is he just making small talk with the opposite sex or is he crossing the line?
Regardless, you have to look out for YOU! YOU come first, not your husband. Seems to me, he doesn't respect you. It doesn't necessarily mean that he does not love you or has never loved you but he has problems of his own that he needs to work out. My father cheated on my mom for 25 years. She stayed with him 'for the kids' but we, in fact, just wanted to see her happy. She loved him . . .they were best friends. . .but his problems were just too great. I wish that she had looked out for herself and that is what I believe you need to do. Get away. Cut ties completely. . at least for a few months and then see how you feel. And in that time, see a counselor. They can help you get through the anger, the sadness and whatever feelings you need to get through to be a stronger person.
After all this, maybe someday down the road when YOU are ready, you will find your prince charming. And in that person, you will trully see how you SHOULD be treated. Cause YOU are a beautiful person. . .and you should never let another person make you feel any less!!! : )
2007-06-11 02:36:38 · answer #5 · answered by LESLIE P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My answer is, if you are married to a guy that cheats on you and beats you on top of that!!!??? You should have left last year. I do not care if you are staying for the money because what good is the money when you are dead? So, leave before you catch some disease you can't cure and get your brothers to kick his as*. Sounds like your biggest mistake was to marry the chump.
2007-06-11 02:56:09 · answer #6 · answered by Black Ice 71 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I think that you most definetly could be in danger and you don't deserve to be a "boxing bag" or have someone be unfaithful to you. I would call the police and go stay with a relative, or a shelter. You need to get out of this situation ASAP! No ifs, ands or buts! Once you get yourself out of the situation you can begin to get your life back.
I hope you decide to call the police and stay with someone. Good luck !
2007-06-11 02:39:01 · answer #7 · answered by NCIS ♥ Addict 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The longer you put up with it the longer he'll keep doing it. You have to show him your strong and deserve respect, GET UP and LEAVE, you deserve better than that!! I know it's hard to start all over again and you feel that it's better and easier to stay in the relationship your in now,(hoping that all the bad will go away in the relationship) than to start all over again, but in the end it will probably be WORTH it!!!! Be Strong and do what you have to do!!! Best Of Luck To You!!!!!!!!!!!!P.S. You'll meet someone better, but it might take time, and that could be what your afraid of being alone, with no one(i know how that feels) The key is to be Strong!!!
2007-06-11 02:45:02 · answer #8 · answered by 24Special 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No person should have to put up with an unfaithful spouse. If he is verbally abusive it's just as bad as being physically abusive. It's just that the scars are on the inside. You would do better if you leave even if you have kids because they will grow up with the same type of relationship problems.
2007-06-11 02:32:18 · answer #9 · answered by abstract_alao 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg hun i think you know the answer to this question - otherwise you wouldnt be asking it.
you are asking this question to get some comfort and someone on your 'side'.. well hun get out of there NOW. You can do so much better, no-one needs to go through this and no-one should ever be used as a punch bag.
Get out of there asap whether its to a friend/relative's house or even a shelter. Your life could be in danger - it only has to go 'too far' once and thats it.
I hope you get the help you need... and SOON.
2007-06-11 02:32:54 · answer #10 · answered by Lynsey F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋