title-wicked trolls
keen of smell
dull of sight
in the cold
they stalk the night.
eyes so small
mouth so wide
sharp the tooth
and thick the hide.
nails like spades
to dig their holes.
keep thou safe
from wicked trolls.
No warmth
No sun
No friends
No one
can keep thou safe
from wicked trolls.
2007-06-11 01:56:58 · 9 answers · asked by Minty 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
comments? concerns? criticism?
2007-06-11 01:57:36 · update #1
I thought it was catchy, and I'm guessing thats the goal. I liked it though.
For those who tell you its not poetry, ignore them. It is.
Its has a simple enough rythym.
And people, every poem ever made doesn't have to be a deep dark insightful peek into someone' psyche. Simplicity has a place in poetry.
PS Josh is right though.
Try putting it ike this...
Nails like spades
To dig their holes,
As they dig,
Into their knoll.
So keep thou safe
From wicked trolls.
Still, holes do NOT equal danger... try putting some more dangerous before that line (so...trolls)
2007-06-11 03:18:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nails like spades
to dig their holes.
keep thou safe
from wicked trolls.
There's no connection between the former and the latter. It affects the flow going into the last few lines. You might want to consider working on those two stanzas.
2007-06-11 09:06:07 · answer #2 · answered by Saffren 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before I read the wicked trolls part,
I thought the ending would be like a riddle,
asking "What am I"?
I almost could see a snake.
First you warn us to keep safe from the trolls,
then you say nothing can save us.
Good poem, just don't like ending....
2007-06-11 10:13:13 · answer #3 · answered by C Sunshine 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This isn't even a poem. It's a description of fantasy characters in rhyme. And what's the point? You take a subject that you think is scary and you write about it in a bouncy, sing-song manner. The meter of poetry must correspond with the subject matter. There is little or no imagery, no poetic device used (except rhyme), no sense to the length or placement of the lines. Stick to prose.
2007-06-11 09:06:59 · answer #4 · answered by Elaine P...is for Poetry 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Despite what the others have said, i think it's great. i've seen your poems. you have a real talent. Dont ever give it up.
2007-06-11 15:49:39 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Lisa♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fair. You might try to be more compact. You need to work on your images. Try writing shorter poems.
2007-06-11 10:05:36 · answer #6 · answered by iscan12345 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's uh....very interesting dear...
2007-06-11 09:00:20 · answer #7 · answered by Dr_M_VanNostrand 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's pretty good!
2007-06-11 09:00:19 · answer #8 · answered by Hello! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
uh huh...umn...
2007-06-11 09:46:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋