You have a spouse and a home and children but feel empty inside you what would you do?

Question

You have the home the kids the pet the spouse. You are a stay at home parent who does all the work while other spouse is at work. You have come to a place where you still feel like some thing is missing in your life, but you don't what it is. you never lived on your own before marriage and only dated once seriuoly relationship before you get married to number two seriouly relationship. you try to find what is missing but noluck prevails. What do you do? what can you do to fill this viod in your heart?

i have friends but one isn't close enough for me to visit, and the other one is always busy working. I have young children so i am with them till they go to bed at night. by the days end i am to tirerd for any thing else.

Answer 1

Got to non-denominational church and develop a spiritual life. For me, without Jesus, its all empty.

Answer 2

Don't have an affair and commit adultery and then add guilt on top of all this. That will only mess you up more, plus think what it would do to your husband and the kids.

Go to church and get involved in some of the works there.

Feed the homeless once a month

Visit older people in the nursing home who REALLY have an empty life because many have been totally ignored by their families.

Get a parttime job to earn a little extra money to set aside for a rainy day

Take up genealogy and get involved in finding your ancestors.

Find a craft you could enjoy ~ crocheting, crossstitching, painting

This is a must !! Start doing little things to remind your husband how much you love him. You let the spark die so ignite it again.

Think of others and help others less fortunate and you will find out how full your life really is.

Answer 3

It isn't that... I had PLENTY of boyfriends and relationships before settling down... and now I am in the same situation as you are anyway.

Being a wife and mom is REALLY hard work, sometimes boring, often monotanous, and definately NOT glamorous... it is not the way any of us imagined it would be (or women wouldn't bother to begin with)...

There is so much cleaning, scrubbing, poopy diapers, and bill-paying and so little romantic candle-light dinners and walks at the beach. There is rarely a "thank you" for what you do, but there is always plenty of belly-aching and complaning for what you don't.

Well, that is life. That is what being a mom and wife is like. It freaking sucks... but it has its perks too.

What would be better? Being single and lonely? Being married with no children?

Life is hard and it sucks for us all in different ways. I bet your husband doesn't feel like his life is a big bowl of cherries either, and your kids probably wish they lived at Disneyland and never had to go to school... things are just what they are, and everyone always thinks they deserved more out of life then what they have...

Well, at least your husband works so you can stay home. At least you are together and not a single parent doing EVERYTHING on your own... at least your kids are all alive and obviously fairly healthy and normal (I say obviously because you have time to feel sorry for yourself, which you wouldn't have time to do if your kids were critically ill)... your pet isn't dead...

what more do you want?

Answer 4

From what it sounds l ike, you are not saying your are unhappy in your marriage, nor unhappy being a homemaker (I don't like saying "stay-at-home-mom). What it sounds like it that you need to mix things up alittle. Find something that YOU would like to do. Even if you think "wow, that sounds silly". But it will give you something else on your mind, other than taking care of home and family. It will add a little spice in your every day. Even if you try what ever it is and hate it, do something else. What hobbies do you have? What have you always wanted to try? Write all of these things out and sit back and pick one, or two, or three. Having an affair will only bring more stress and a broken home. Don't do it!! I'm sure you feel like you are doing the same things day in and day out. Mix it up, add something new. My husband and I were high school sweet hearts and I have never "dated". So I totally know what you mean about that part. What we do is role play on a date. As crazy as it may sound, we go on dates. He picks me up and everything, we change our names for the night....it's a blast!! Just a suggestion. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

I have read some of your other answers to get a better perspective of where you are coming from. I am completely confused.

One question you say you haven't been "with your husband" for years. One says your husband wants you to be with another man for you to gain experience....that your husband doesn't enjoy being with you after childbirth. One asks if you can get state assistance for an apartment. One asks if you can dissolve your marriage without a divorce. One asks how to keep your husband from selling your home out from under you because you threatened to divorce.

Unless your questions are a long string of hypotheticals...I can understand why you seem unhappy or unfufilled, but it seems like you are offering your spouse maid service, childcare, and nothing else. None of the questions indicated you have any feelings for the man. If you don't put more on the table to offer, don't expect much more in return.

Your husband seems like a real looser if you painted an accurate picture of him, but we only have 1/2 of the story here.

You sound like a real piece of work too. It sound like you think your husband should be happy that you stay home and take care of the kids for him...and that should be the end of his needs. You complain that you are made to feel like a slave, but you are only meeting basic needs of your husband and children...and none of your own.

It is the things you do beyond the housework and cooking that make life worth living. What you really need to do is get up in the morning, do your housework...then go find something out of the house to do. Take your kids to the community pool or the library. Go visit a friend. Get involved at your church or some other social group. Take up a hobby. Try to think of something you might enjoy, then you could possibly include him in once you have gotten the hang of it. Give yourself something to look forward to and stop expecting other people to do that for you.

Once you make yoruself more fun to be around, perhaps your husband will want to spend more time with you and the kids. If not divorce him.

I wouldn't do it untill you make some of your own improvements though. You have no means of support without him, and have not much to offer any prospective mates until you figure out how to be happy. No man wants to hook up with a depressing woman with no income and a couple kids in tow....unless the guy is a looser, then you are in the same boat you are in now.

Answer 6

I have the same situation. If U haven't graduated from college... go for a college degree (take some on line classes)... Take interest in some hobbies (there has 2 B something U like doing)..... Write a book about your situation (what can U do when there is nothing else 2 do)..PLEASE look and seek more options B 4 your interest turn wrong (cheating on your spouse.. hanging with single woman, which lead 2 cheating on your spouse). You need 2 get "excited" again... Look forward 2 doing something new. Try eating lunch with your hubby sometimes.

Answer 7

You didn't mention anything about friends. Do you have any adult companionship besides your husband? You may just be in a rut and need a hobby or take a class or find an outside interest. Try something new. Then again we usually try to fill the void within us with external items and this will never work. Do you have confidence in yourself or have you lost your own identity in your family? It is human nature to feel restless, but you can fill the void in your heart. Prayer or meditation may provide an inner peace and exercise can relieve stress and release feel-good juices.

Answer 8

If I were you I would go to college get a degree and have a career. I dont know if you would be happy obtaining a part time job or not, but working fulfills me. I have a wonderful life, but cant stand to sit at home with the kids and dogs while my husband is earning the money. I wanted an equal partnership and by going back to work that is what I have now.

Answer 9

Find a hobby, maybe something you can do with your kids. Start an at home business or get involve with your church and/or charity.

I had a void once, but it was definitely because I didn't have children. Now that my little girl is in my life, I hardly ever feel like something is missing. Only when I feel lonely for adult companionship, as I'm a single mom.

Answer 10

Your children and your husband should be filling your heart! Perhaps you could do some reading to help get your head back on track - you need a serious change of attitude to one being WAY more positive, so you can bring your best self to your husband and your children!
You are probably feeling a bit resentful and selfish. Get over that quickly, because you have lots of mature responsibilities to deal with!

Answer 11

I can relate to you 100%. I too feel that way and am in basically the same situation. I think my spouse doesn't want me to have friends, or get a job. I love my life and family but I feel like I need more too. I don't want to be know just as someones wife or mother.