if you could turn back time,what would be the 1 thing you would change,and why?

Question

i know the one thing i would change is marrying a violent man thinking he would change. what a doozey that was. still trying to divorce the plank,but hes being a pillac as usual. yes i would definatly change that one huge mistake,lol. whats your and why?? xx

pushka_cat2004,my heart go's out to you. my father and my husband hurt me in that way. am in councelling for it now. and its thankfully helping. cant take antidepressants,doctor said i have a high sensitivity to them. sending hugs. take care xxxxxxx

smehea, ditto. i had 2 young babies when i finally made my escape. one of 2 and another aged 1. just couldnt take no more,and didnt want my children to suffer because of him. sending hugs xx

tattylashes. glad you made it hunny. so many women put up with it for so long,and in silence. you never really know a person until the doors are firmly closed. congratulations on being a survivor. xxxx take care xx

sparrow. i agree hunny. we have to deal with what life throws at us,just makes me question why it can be so cruel sometimes. i know everything in life happens for a reason,but some things are just byond explanation. take care xxxx

catira1953. your attitude to this question and what woman suffer is appaling. you may think i should have thought long and hard,well i did. i was to terrified to call it off. i wish i would have been brave enough to your standards,but hinde sight is a wonderful thing wouldnt you say. we all make mistakes,some worse than others,but when your going through what i went through its very hard to break the cycle and get away. i finally did find that courage and left him a long time ago. so i learnt the hard way for my mistake. i take it your perfect and have never made a mistake in your life eh.

Answer 1

yep...i would never have married my ex (violent, controlling, sneaky, mentally deranged excuse of a human being) he put us through hell...he is now married to the one he cheated with and she is going through exactly the same thing, bogged down with his kids, unable to move out of the house, takes beatings on a regular basis...i did warn her and i told her he would be as nice as pie at first, but once he has his claws in, he'd change, and i was right, he did...but she said i was only saying it because i was jealous because she was with him and not me...lol...what a joke.....wonder if she's laughing now eh?....i think not...i would definitely not have married that weasel...he's in cuckoo land...anyway, these days, i am a very happy woman and i am free of any violence and hurt...i have my own life my own business my own home my own car and 3 gorgeous successful sons who have now grown and flown, also 2 beautiful grandsons to boot...what more could i ever want....it's perect, just me and my little family.... they don't even mention his name any more....so much for being dad eh?

Answer 2

Thanks for this question, just what i needed. Firstly, I was married off at 17 years of age (5 years ago). It was more of a forced marriage, i was young and naive and didnt know what marraige really meant. But hey, married at 17, got pregnant straight away (cause my partner didnt allow me to have contraception and i was too scared to say anything) and a mother a year later. How unfair is life eh?? I never had the chance to be free and live my own life. This is the ony life i will get and i feel so bitter about it. The man that i married was from my home country, which i didnt even know anything about cause i grew up in London. He has hit me twice already, and i know he wont change. he cant speak english, i practically have to do everything for him. he does not appreciate anything that i do for him. He deceived me saying that he was a virgin, but later i found out that the whole world knew (except for me) that he used to sleep around, the poof. Anyways, I wish i could turn back the hands of time, cause i know that i dont deserve this life, had i not been married off, i would have gone onto uni and got myself a proper life to live for. At the moment i am so depressed and think of suicide, the only thing that is keeping me going is my son, who is 4 years old and i would give the whole world for him, even if it means i have to suffer.

Answer 3

If it would have been possible, I would rather have my second wife be the mother of my daughters.

Their mother did not like being told she couldn't have something she wanted, regardless of income. She would see something and write a check for it, days before my paycheck was deposited, figuring that the second time it was submitted to the bank it would clear. In those days checks are always submitted twice. Some times they bounced the second time.

She's now in jail for embezzling from an employer. This is not the first one she's done that to, but in the past she kept black evidence available if she got caught. She most getting old, as this time she slipped up.

As a followup, I would not have spent so much time working with a non-profit that it cost me my marriage to my second wife. Trying to keep up on the bills from the first wife, I became a workaholic. Don't drink, don't smoke, don't go out with the guys.

Answer 4

A bookshelf, a dolls living house, a door, a television, 2 chairs, 2 'The Rainbow Fish' photos, 2 GH3 controllers, a folded up dolls living house, a recorder, a wig, a colouring in e book, an elliptical, a clock, a delicate change and a tupperware field.

Answer 5

I would go back to when I was 13 years old and went to a party, it was at that party that I met the man I married at age 19, for the whole of the next 6 years he dominated and influenced me so much that I actually had no opinions and no taste in anything other than his opinion. I wish I had not gone to that party, then I would never have met him and perhaps my life would have taken a different road.

Answer 6

I would have taken a long time in chosing who I married, instead of jumping into a marriage where I was abused. Some people say they don't know why a woman stays with a man that beats her. Well I am here to tell you that once in the frying pan, it's hard to get out. But if you do, then more likely you won't be jumping in the fire again.

Answer 7

Absolutely nothing. So sorry you all have been having such troubles! Am happily married for almost 18 years, with a wonderful son and great life - have had hard times like everyone, but we were mature when we got married, knowing everything which was important to us was totally compatible, and knowing it was lifelong. Guess we're lucky, but we were also really, really careful in our choices!

Answer 8

The one thing I would change is something I wish I could really do,but then again its hard for me to say it.
I would never have got with the guy I was with for 5 years. He had a temper on him and he did nothing but belittle me at every opportunity. He also could be violent. hitting the walls and such. And on occasion throwing bowls etc at me hurting me. And also leaving marks and bruises on me where he has been 'playing'
But if I did do that then I wouldn't have my little girl who is now 4. See I said it was hard. If I could have my little girl without having to have been with him,I would do it.

Answer 9

I would have gone out to a party on the evening of September 17th 1971, instead of waiting for someone who was late, and that would mean i would have avoided being involved in an incident that led to a killing that was not my doing, but never the less i was blamed and charged with. later, much later, i was aquitted! but the damage was done.

Answer 10

I agree with everyone except DJRizla.
Not everything makes you stronger. My husband has made me weaker than anyone person should ever feel. After 25 years of marriage, I am now resigned to the fact that I am trapped due to children, money, lack of self esteem, and the main factor - lack of energy to seek a better life.