Are all people capable of long term relationships, or are some of us just not the type, can't do it, will self-inflict wounds on a relationship to guranteed that it won't work. What is that.?
2007-06-10 21:18:37 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NO, not all people are capable of long term relationships. What it comes right down to, is to be in a long term relationship, a person has to be willing to put the other person BEFORE themselves, at least some of the time.
Apparently, not everyone can/will do this. A lot of people are only motivated by self-preservation / self-gratification. The saddest instance of this is when someone has a child and STILL can't put the kid before themselves (how many times have we all seen this scenario?)... if someone can't even do it for their own child, then they just can't or won't do it... Some can do it for their child, but maybe not for a spouse... some people can do it for a stranger just because it is the right thing to do at the time (and these rare individuals are Heroes -- the person that runs back into the burning building to save strangers with no regard for their own life)
That is why the world isn't full of heroes... not everyone has what it takes to sacrifice themselves for the good of others... but sometimes a long term relationship can bring out good qualities and commitment that were never seen in the person before (having a child did this for me) and when that happens, it is a beautiful and miraculous thing.
2007-06-10 21:23:27 · answer #1 · answered by Heather L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all people are long term people. Some people are motivated by a career or other life pursuits.
The first question I would ask myself if I were you is: "why do I enter 'relationships' if I know they aren't going anywhere?"
Most people who don't picture the marriage and kids thing will just date around...casually...but amazingly some people who aren't interested in marriage and everything don't know when to cut it off so they end up in relationships that aren't good but aren't bad and they don't know how to end them so they do something like cheat or become distant because they don't know how to end it--especially if there isn't anything wrong.
If your sabotaging is because you don't know how to end a relationship that is getting too serious then I suggest learning how to end a relationship without hurting someone...better yet I suggest dating like minded people who are only interested in one or two casual dates...
But, I don't think this is the case with you...I think the most likely scenario is below.
If you feel that your relationship dysfunction is related to a self-sabotaging type of behavior as you eluded to....and if that sabotaging behavior is leading to unhappiness in your life then that would probably mean that you are--in fact the marriage type--but something is holding you back.
For that, I suggest therapy.
Best wishes.
2007-06-10 22:09:04 · answer #2 · answered by joellemoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that there are some of us that have no desire to be married. I am one of them. And a man can tell, because I have my own space, I call my male friends when I want to, I don't expect them to be there waiting by the phone. I am too independent for men. I don't need them to hold my hand everyday. I am not emotional needy- I can tread what like the big boys can.
2007-06-10 21:38:34 · answer #3 · answered by babysteppin2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. If she/ he loves to spend money too much
2. If doesnt love children
3. If used to tell lies
4. If not trying to be only herself or himself
5.If doesnt know how to cook
6. If he/she is not clean ( all meanings )
7. If his/her parents argue often
8. If not jealous
9. If loves indolence
10. If despises others
11. If not merciful ( for both people and animals or plants)
12. If doesnt have empathy
She / he is not a person to marry
2007-06-10 21:41:30 · answer #4 · answered by curiousbee24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
content with things the way they are, when any mention of that dreaded M word tends to push the other away.in other words Been there, Done that, Would rather not do it again. Did not do it so well.
2007-06-10 21:29:21 · answer #5 · answered by cheri h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are motivated by the hurt that resides within them all hurt should be addressed and dealt with
2007-06-10 21:22:14 · answer #6 · answered by may_his_peace_be_with_you 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being selfish or immature, not having a heart or being understanding, not liking children, still liking doing childish things like gaming, not getting along with his family, etc.
2007-06-11 02:27:01 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋