Confusion in family!!!!?

Question

my husband is in close touch with his ex girlfriend and she too is willing to be in regular touch with my husband but without the slightest knowledge of her husband.. i cant stop them.. pls give ur views..

my husband's girlfriend is in touch with him without the knowledge of her husband. although it's predicted to be a healthy one, i cant accept the kind of emotional attachment of the two increasing everyday. also they pretend to keep me aware of their relationship but only a 10% they really do. i'm disturbed bcoz they keep somethings away from me. pls help me with their views.

Answer 1

Your case is typically that seems to be of mere 'J' factor only. Please don't make presumptions & assumptions like a typical Housewife for any such issue unless your husband avoids you, ignore you, is not giving proper love & affection to you, is not providing all the facilities as a wife, or he wants to leave you by showing any such signs or symptoms. His being keeping good friendly relationship with his ex-girlfriend doesn't mean he is indulging in cheating that amounts to adultery. In the present society one has to keep good relationship with every one as you don't know when a particular person can be of help to you in your work & profession. It may be his work & profession that keeps him in touch with her or may be just his old time good friendship that makes him to say Hi! To her off & on. It so happens in many cases where people misunderstand the friendship of their spouses with that of a person of opposite sex as indulgence of sexual activities, but in reality nothing of this sort exist & a bitter relationship results into breaking off a otherwise successful marriage. I have seen cases where the couple came for divorce only for the sake of such misunderstandings that broke their marital life, so my advice to you is to keeping cool & ignoring such friendship between your husband & his ex-gf till he is otherwise normal with you.

Answer 2

Well, dear, there's not much you can do except make a fuss, which is going to put you in a very bad light.

Invite them out to dinner. This will give you a chance to show how accepting you are of the relationship, and it includes her husband. Maybe your husband will back off if he actually sees her and her husband together.

So, just keep your opinions to your self for now, see if you can't get all 4 of you out to dinner together, and participate on your end of the marriage.

That is to say, establish a routine of dinner, bath, and bed for the kids. Take a nice, hot bath, put on something, ummm, appealing, and a little makeup and go read a book. Let him come to you.

You can take him to Tantric Sex and Kama Sutra sites, and see if there is anything you like there. Go to the lingerie sites, put what you like in the cart, and have him choose what he likes out of the cart according to your budget. I love waiting for that package to arrive! Inlustro has very reasonable prices. I like to tease my man, "Hon, you do realize She doesn't come with that body stocking?"

You have the inside track on this one, hon. Sometime after 9 at night, become her worst nightmare. She's a fantasy and you are real. He can have you home every night. He's craving a little excitement. You be that.

Leave him naughty, loving e-mails. Text him that you can't wait for him to get home. Buy the candles and the wine. And for goodness sakes, dress the part and wear a little makeup. He'll appreciate it.

And then, when he gets what he's looking for, you get what you want.

Answer 3

It sounds like your husband craves attention, more attention than one woman can give. Not assuming he has feelings for this other woman, he is still carrying on a relationship you are not comfortable with.

Communicate directly with him, and let him know it makes you uncomfortable and if it is an honest friendship there should not be any deception involved or necessary.

If he makes light of this, contact the woman and arrange for a double date. Get all 4 of you around a dinner table and see if they are as comfortable with their spouses in the same room. If you sense high tension, it is definitely time to take your concern to a new level.

Best wishes to you ~

Answer 4

It depends how far you want to assert yourself, I assume you have asked your man to stop seeing his ex? His response should prompt a reaction, you could ask the husband if he knows about it which would cause no end of trouble but to be honest this situation will arise in trouble eventually. You need to know why her husband is being kept in the dark is it because there is something to hide or is the said ex girlfriend in an abusive relationship and needs the support of your husband. You do have a right to ask these questions.

Answer 5

I think that the exgirl friend has shady motives because she does this without her husband's knowledge. Your husband is better because he is quite open.[ obviously!! how else did you come to know?]
But his male ego would be boosted by this exgirlfriend's exclusive attention. It is a natural weakness. But don't spoil what you have by confronting him . However you can check with him openly. in a friendly manner and say that if he wants you away you are willing to part ways. If it
is just an ego boost your proximity and chemistry with your husband will make it alright. Do not worry.

Answer 6

If your husband is not allowed to date, you need to be crystal clear with him about your view on the matter. If he is allowed to have friends of the opposite sex, make sure he thoroughly understands your position on on what is okay and what is not. You can't be half-way or *****-nilly about the matter, you need to be clear with yourself if you agreed that its alright for him to have a g-friend or telephone buddie. Then, you can't get upset when you hear them on the phone, or that your learned they went out to lunch. Trust of your partner is the major issue, if you don't trust him to negotiate this relationship at above board status. Let him know about your issues, he's an adult, he should know what to do, and then do it.
if there is nothing going on but friendship, why cant the g-friend's partner be in on it too. Arrange to have a buddy dinner; the four of you soon, Oh yeah, have the buddy dinner every other month, just to keep things on a friendly basis, since you have something in common. if something crops up and this friendship can't weather the storm, you'll be the first to know.

Answer 7

Its tempting to keep in touch with old flames. I'm female and although to me it is harmless and they are just friends I dont do it anyway out of respect for my husband. Because if the tables were turned I wouldnt want him doing the same. Your husband should respect you not to do that. She knows its not right or else she would be open about it with her husband so that should be enough of a red flag to call it quits!

Answer 8

You need to put a stop to this, this type of relationship is not healthy for you or your husband. If the ex is not up for telling her husband than there must be something going on that she doesn't want him to know of. This would get anyones mind curious. I am sure that yours is as we speak. Tell him that if he sees her again you are outta the relationship you will then see who means more, be sure that you are ready for this in case he chooses her since they have been spending time regularly

Answer 9

Relax dear, your husband is a nice man and he will always be yours. As far as the ex-friend is concerned, she seems to be having a bad patch in her married life and is just finding solace with your husband as a good company. Stop doubting on the Honesty and the sincere efforts your husband is giving to his ex-gal. That is just out of concern for her. On your part keep your husband happy and keep enquiring and suggesting him at times to help his solve the problems of his ex-gal. That will strengthen your relationship with your husband more than your Sulking, Imagining unwanted things, and above all Doubting on your husband.

Good Luck

Answer 10

if it is upsetting you then he needs to put an end to this. Emotional affairs are just as devastating if not more than physical ones. You need to let him know how much this is bothering you and put a stop to it before it becomes too late. Your husband needs to put you to #1 and respect what you are saying to him. Your his wife and his future...not his ex and his past. He needs to see this and to stop the contact before this whole thing blows up and everyone involved gets hurt. If he is not going to respect your wishes than something else needs to be done here. You should come first, before anything or anyone, especially an ex. Good Luck!!!!