Ok ppl I need help. I have a friend who I always was there for and when she went through a hard time with anything, work, boyfriend trouble, or just random stuff I was always there for her. Now I am going through a hard time. My Mom is getting a MRI and she was in a car accident and I needed some time alone and she got mad at me and told me that I am not being her friend. I tried explaining it but that did not help. What do I do? Do I stay her friend or just ignore her next time she has a problem because that is what she did to me. I am putting this in the polls and surveys because I know it will get more answers here. Thank you and have a good day/night.
Peace:
Amanda
2007-06-10 18:31:47 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Our friendship is always up and down. She won’t hear what I have to say. I tried telling her. I know she should be there for me but she never is and sometimes she is my BEST friend. Even if she is not there for me we have a blast together.
2007-06-10 18:41:59 · update #1
Yeah, I uderstand about keeping the friendship I really want to but she said some REALLY mean stuff and that I should "leave her alone" She NEVER did that before. Thank you k for wishing my Mom and me well. :-)
2007-06-10 18:46:20 · update #2
What kind of 'friend' would expect you to be with her when you are worried about your Mom? That kind of friend is called a 'fair weather friend'. In other words, she isn't your friend through thick and thin, but your friend when it suits her. You are stressed over your Mom, don't let this person stress you more. You are doing the absolutely right thing being a good daughter! Don't let someone push your around like she is trying to do! I am sorry that you had to find out that she's no friend at a time when you needed her compassion and understanding. Go with your gut feeling about continuing this friendship...you know in your heart she isn't worth all you give that she doesn't give back.Be sure to tell her why you can't be her friend anymore - if you can't tell her in person write to her something like "You let me down (or you disappointed me) when I needed you the most so I can not continue our friendship. Please do not call me when you need something because I have nothing more to give to you. I don't wish you any bad." You know you don't deserve to be treated the way she is treating you. You only have one Mom - you can gets lots more friends. I wish your Mom a speedy recovery and it is good you are being so supportive of her.
2007-06-10 18:48:35 · answer #1 · answered by DPL06351 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Friends should support you through anything as long as you are not hurting yourself or anybody. I am sorry about whats happening with your mom hopefully she pulls through. As far as your friend is concerned... have you tried telling her that you need some time alone? try telling her that and if she truly values your friendship then she will respect your decision. Regarding ignoring her the next time that she has problems... hmm... it depends on what her friendship is worth to you. If she can give you a hard time when you are in trouble and if you can ignore her the next time that she needs you, then perhaps she really isn't a friend... :o)
2007-06-11 01:42:08 · answer #2 · answered by inquisitive_mindzz 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi Mandy, it's funny when we realize some people we thought we were close to don't hold our same values or respect others wishes the way we do.
For me, I've had to learn and be more tolerant of others to maintain my own happiness, without letting myself be a doormat for people to walk over. There is a line, and my closest of friends may not cross it when it comes to my personal and familial life. I'd make sure she understands this and if she still doesn't give way, she's probably too selfish to be a good friend to you anyway.
2007-06-11 01:44:12 · answer #3 · answered by acesfourpal 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is feeling like you are rejecting her because you want to be alone and she feels that you could use a friend right now to help you through this hard time just as you helped her.Although it is kind of "high school" to be mad about it she just wants to be there for you and feels you may need someone too talk with and help you.
2007-06-11 01:44:53 · answer #4 · answered by Tazz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW... first of all, i hope your mom gets well soon, best wishes ^_^..
anyway bout your friend, i'd try explaining to her again..
it would atleast show that shes imortant to you and that your still trying to be friends..
if she still gets angry, thats when you stop being her friend,
i believe you should always give second chances never thirds..
theres something i dont get though.....
Arent you the one with the problem right now?.
if so, then why is she the one getting angry when its clearly you who needs a helping hand..... anyway
Best of Luck!!! ^_^
2007-06-11 01:47:59 · answer #5 · answered by Chris-4 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Friendships are like that. You think you are giving more then they are. They think they are giving more then you are. The truth is you are both wrong and you are both right.
I doubt it is in your nature to not look out for someone else. So I would definately not choose the option of hurting her to get back at her.
My suggestion is. Don't change. Keep up your side of the bargain from now until forever and let her be the one to take it away.
2007-06-11 01:40:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like she is just trying to be there for you the way you where for her. let her know that you thank her for it but you really want to be alone but when you are ready for company, she will be the first one who will know. I think she is a friend just trying to help. it's good that you where there for her and you have never needed her to be there for you as she would like to be now. give her a break guys she's trying
2007-06-11 01:43:09 · answer #7 · answered by jennyforrich 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you both are good friends, don't let to go...I know your going through a hard time, but explain to your friend that you need your space right now...if she is a good friend she will understand...if she still doesnt understand she keep your distance for a little bit, if she is a good friend, she will call when she thinks you are ready to talk,...Im sorry about your mom I hope everything works out ok..Good luck with your friend!
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2007-06-11 01:39:14 · answer #8 · answered by k. 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She probably wishes to "be there for you" in your time of distress and feels she is being dismissed. Tell her again of your wish to be alone and ask her if she'll be there for you when you'll need her later on. Continue to be her friend and realize good friends are a real gift.
2007-06-11 01:39:07 · answer #9 · answered by Sheriff of Yahoo! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, most people would say "Well, if she was really your friend she would understand.." if you believe that, thats fine.
but, more realisticly, she could have just been having a bad day before that or she is just eager to help you out in a serious time like that.
Give it time, she should come back around.
2007-06-11 01:39:10 · answer #10 · answered by mle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋