sex after baby...?

Question

i had my son 5 wks ago and got second degree tears, all on the outside. my husband and i really want to resume our sex life asap (its killin me). we tried fooling around yesterday and he honestly couldnt go in a 1/4 inch before i had this sharp pain as if someone was snipping me with a little pair of scissors. we stopped obviously cuz that certainly wasnt going anywhere. it feels way smaller than before and worse than the first time we ever did it (i lost my virginity to him). we figured it just needed to stretch back into shape but then today we were just laying in bed and he tried to use his finger instead... again, same result. now im right jumpy when he goes even just on my leg close to the area and scared of hurting myself. i mean, it must be pretty tight if a finger wont even go in there... is it possible that i was sewed up too tightly which sounds ridiculous, i know, but i swear thats what it feels like. im going to wait another 2 wks to let it heal more before trying again :(

ps the dr advised 4-6 wks if im comfortable w/ it.

Answer 1

My cousin had to stretch hers back out. They made it too tight. If it hurts and feels like that at least wait two more weeks. Also, keep your six week and talk to your doctor... Good luck on the sex thing... I feel bad for you... Remember it is easiest to get pregnant right after baby so if you are not wanting another talk to the dr about meds...

CONGRATS ON THE NEW BABY!!!

Answer 2

I would wait. Your body needs time to heal. Even after six weeks I had a hard time. I had internal tears and needed to be stitched up. It hurt sooo... bad. I agree it was worse then when I lost my virginity. It'll take time and patience on your part and your husband. It took me about 4 months before it stopped hurting and my body was adjusted. Sometimes women to experience more dryness when nursing. Every ones body is different. My friend said it took a year before it stopped hurting during intercourse and my doctor said it took her 8 months. I also had the same concern. I thought they sewed me up closed or wrong. It didn't feel the same. What are you to think. You didn't see what they were doing down there. Your concerns are common and normal, but I'm sure the doctors did a good job.
Good luck. Take it easy and check with your doctor.

Answer 3

You need more time to heal. With those tears, 8 weeks is more normal. Try some sensual play and mutual masterbation rather than intercourse. Stay clitoral rather than internal.

Remember, with exhaustion, breatfeeding and hormonal changes, you dry up and that makes tearing and pain even more likely because your body isn't producing natural lubricant.

You must be careful as a tear could result in infection and more damage. It is also very important that you are vigilant about using birth control while your baby is so young. Pregnancies too close together, especially when the first resulted in tearing, can be problematic.

There is a very honest discussion among many parents on my blog about this issue. I recommend that both you and your parents read all of the articles (and comments from other parents) I link to hear to protect yourselves.
http://www.babylune.com/the-parental-sex-omnibus/

Answer 4

As a Labor and Delivery nurse... I can say that we give the advice to wait until your post partum appointment for a reason. Reason #1: it hurts! (I can say this from personal experience).... Reason # 2: let it heal!! And Reason #3: If you're breastfeeding... you can be experiencing some vaginal dryness... that a lubricant alone may not help (sometimes you need to use hormone cream in the vagina as prescribed by your doctor, for a short time). Wait until you see your doctor... and tell your doctor that you tried and it hurt. Now probably isn't the time to "stretch" everything out... just wait a little longer.

Answer 5

You shouldn't be experiencing that kind of pain. I had a fourth-degree laceration (to put it politely, it means tearing all the way through... owwww), so I know a bit about them!

Make an appointment with your doctor ASAP. If something isn't healing right, or if it's just a question of something having been sewn up wrong, the sooner you know about it, the better.

Answer 6

hen the Doctor say no sex before 6 weeks they mean it. You are very susceptible to dangerous infection during this postpartum period.

Go for your postpartum check up and tell the Doctor your experience and listen to the instructions and advice they give you.

Answer 7

WAit for your postpartum appointmet. I also had stitches. Though it may seem to you that the stitches have healed, but it takes some time for them to go invisvle completely. I showed them to my doc and when she said that they are completely dissolved means no more visible then only we had sex.

Answer 8

Most doctors will tell you to wait at least 6 weeks before resuming sexual intercourse. If you tore a lot, it may take a little longer. I would consult your doctor at your 6 week postpartum checkup. Tell your husband to please be patient!

Best wishes!

Answer 9

Wait a week later it's for most woman to have sex six weeks after giving birth about the pain idk so talk to a doctor asap

Answer 10

yeah !!!