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I mean do you know any women who have kids because they expect them to be their life companion and to never leave them, never get married and to never life their own life?

I think this is how my boyfriends mother is

2007-06-10 17:48:15 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

12 answers

i am doing my darndest to raise sons who DON'T think this way. because when they are grown, they have to move out. i want those years to be spent totally on myself and my husband. i was with a man like that. what kind of sicko pays more attention to his mother than the woman he goes to bed with everynight??? it's unhealthy. disgusting. i stopped dating any man who was on good terms with his mother after that one.

2007-06-10 17:59:47 · answer #1 · answered by Bella 5 · 1 0

Maybe it’s not that Mom doesn’t want Son to ever marry, but that she just doesn’t think that YOU are the right partner for him (rather the reasoning behind that is valid or not).

I personally don’t know any women who expect their children to be their life companion, never marry, etc (although I’m sure there are some that exist).

Personally, I’m looking forward to the day when my sons have moved out, so that I can focus my attention on ME. And I’m looking forward to them getting married, because someday I want grandchildren. But as much as I’m looking forward to that, if they were planning to marry someone who I felt was *completely* inappropriate (and it would take A LOT for me to feel that way), I’d have no problem voicing my concerns, because that’s what Mom’s do (even after our children are grown)--we try to keep our children from making mistakes, especially mistakes that can have huge repercussions.

2007-06-11 02:05:16 · answer #2 · answered by kp 7 · 0 0

Yes, unfortunately this is common, and I see it more often with the teens of today. They cannot find love with the children's father, or maybe their parents arent around and so they feel that this little life that they bring into the world will have to depend on them for everything and because of that they will forever be in their debt. Also because men are not in the home as much, many mothers with male children tend to keep them close simply for male companionship. This may be the case with your boyfriend; but more so than not, his mom is just having trouble letting go of her "baby". For most mothers, no woman is ever good enough for son... it's nothing against you or any other lady; just the bond that a mother has with their child.

2007-06-11 00:56:33 · answer #3 · answered by Shay 2 · 0 1

Oh honey, nearly every girl thinks their boyfriend's mother is like that.

It will get easier (eventually, hopefully). Just hang in there. Try to respect that he's been with her alot longer than he's been with you, and talk to him if you're feeling pushed away because of his relationship with mom.

Really, though, until there are wedding bells on the horizon, you have to be careful. Once you two are committed to spending your lives together, it will be easier to set some boundaries, and she may back a little on her own. This is the kind of thing that has to be handled slowly and with definite finesse, though.

Remember, catch more bees with honey than with vinegar...

2007-06-11 00:54:29 · answer #4 · answered by Magaroni 5 · 0 0

There are actually women like that, yes. They are not rare. It is also not uncommon for mothers to expect one daughter to take care of everybody and not have a life of her own (just ask me how much help I had caring for a grandmother and great-aunt for 8 years when I had 5 siblings?).

You have to decide when you will draw the line in the sand for bf to break from his mother. Consider moving to a new town as well. Otherwise, the relationship will be doomed.

2007-06-11 00:52:55 · answer #5 · answered by CarbonDated 7 · 1 1

Unfortunately it seems to be common place. Its like some women give birth to their fan club, the [even middle aged] 'kids' have to be within arms reach, always agree with mom on important things, look up to mom, have no real identity of their own and sacrifice their lives [marriages, whatever] to her. It is pitiful and it is hatred not love for one's offspring. The kids don't even know it for what it is, they are emotionally stifled.

2007-06-11 01:02:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

I agree with you Bella, my mom-in-law is the very same way. I used to (and sometimes still does) think that she wants him for herself. I know it seems like a disgusting thought but why else would she not want anyone to be with her son. As for my husband,he's just one big whimpy mamas boy. haha.

2007-06-11 01:22:53 · answer #7 · answered by Aliyah 84 2 · 0 0

Its called Clytemnestra complex much like the Oedipus complex. Yes to your answer.

2007-06-11 01:18:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

There are all sorts of people in the world. I expect there's some as you describe as well.

2007-06-11 00:54:05 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0 0

you are probably right so why is he still your boyfriend its going to always be the same why don't you move on while you can.

2007-06-11 01:18:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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