My husband and I have only been married for a year and a half. We have been together for 4 years and have a 19 month old baby girl. Somewhere around January I started pushing him for a divorce. My excuse, I still wanted to be with him, I just didn't feel I wanted to be married. (if that makes any sense). For 4 months I pushed and pushed and he finally agreed and we went to see an attorney. We signed papers but when it came down to it I called the attorney back and told him to hold the paperwork. Now after months of pushing him for the divorce that he didn't want I have finally came back to my senses and realized how much I still love him and he really is the only one (other than my girls) that I have. You know the saying, you don't know what you have til its gone. It's so true. Now I want to fix things. I am trying so hard to work things out but he says the bond just isn't there anymore. He says I pushed him away for so long. He just doens't feel the same. Is my marriage fixable?
2007-06-10 16:36:39 · 16 answers · asked by Stacy B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stop playing games. What did you want him to do? Prove his love for you? This isn't some TV drama. Be nice, be civil, and be a grown up. Maybe when he sees you this way things will change, but if not you will be a better person.
2007-06-10 16:54:06 · answer #1 · answered by Merrie S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can save your marriage! Talk to your husband and let him know that you want to seek a marriage counselor with him. Let him know what a huge mistake you have made and that you are willing to do ANYTHING to fix it. Go out of your way to make romantic gestures. You may even wan to get a babysitter so that you guys can spend some alone time. Tell him what you expect from a marriage and ask him what his expectations are as well.
Remember, you are willing to do WHATEVER it takes to make this work. Don't hold back on anything you do. Beg, Beg, Beg..you are not too good for a little Begging girlfriend. Good Luck!
2007-06-10 16:47:03 · answer #2 · answered by MsLynda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give it up.... You werent serious from the begining and I can tell that you are not being honest on the post. I believe you cheated on him or wanted to be elsewhere and changed your mind for some reason. Now you want to work it out. I can tell you that you are VERY selfish and I hope he leaves you. If he's smart, he will leave you. The next time you get married dont use divorce as a threat. Serves you right....
2007-06-10 16:55:41 · answer #3 · answered by Ealon W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think possibly the marriage could work if you both wanted that, were commited to that, and had enough self control to respect each others wishes of what you each wanted in relationship. It would require you both being very honest. And as far as the element of trust, that can be gained by being more involved in each others' daily lives-- letting her see that you are not doing anything wrong. If addiction becomes a factor it could destroy the marriage though. It sounds like you could benifit from seeing a counselor
2016-03-13 08:50:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as one of you are not willing, the MARRIAGE IS OVER! IT TAKES TWO! You are quite convincing and it worked.
WHY ON EARTH DID YOU WANT TO BE FREE IN THE FIRST PLACE? WAS THERE ANOTHER MAN YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT GETTING WITH? I SEE NO OTHER REASON T BEG FOR A DIVORCE AND THEN CHANGE YOUR MIND LATER!!??!!
Unfortunately for you, your wishy-washy, back & forth mind has cost you dearly. Continue to love him; however, it may be from afar. I don't think I would want to stay in a marriage where someone has begged me to divorce (yet stay together) ... makes no sense. THERE IS SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT SAYING AND THAT IS YOUR THINKING OF WANTING THAT AT THE TIME AND WHAT CHANGED!!
TO THY OWNSELF AND YA......BE TRUE!
2007-06-10 18:14:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder if he has met someone else? I had the same thing happen. I didn't want to be married anymore and I met someone else. When that ended I wanted to get back together. He had met someone else and did not want to get back together, drove me nuts! Finally after pleading and crying and days of really trying..we got back together. It was tough, but I learned my lesson. Talk to him! Tell him what is in your heart! If you can fix your marriage do it. Do what ever you have to, to prove to him what you want and that you mean it. Just honor what ever you tell him.
2007-06-10 16:44:59 · answer #6 · answered by Jill L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's so very odd.
Ask him if he'll go to marriage counseling with you and you should go to individual counseling as well. You must have some issues to work through if you're going to sabotage your relationship with your husband in such a way.
2007-06-10 16:40:41 · answer #7 · answered by C K Platypus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Big mistake! Hope that you can get through to him and he will let you prove you love him and don't want a divorce.Better know what you really want before you do something this stupid again.
2007-06-10 16:42:15 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you dont mind me saying, you really screwed up there. You've hurt him a lot, and itll take a while to fix, but I think if you show him how much you really love him and how devoted you are to him he'll take you back.
2007-06-10 16:42:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok I would maybe get someone to watch the kids and go out a night....maybe that would fix some of it....but if he doesnt want to be with you why do you want to be with him...Have you ever heard of ppl saying if they dont to be with me then I dont want them to either?? I dunno I hope you and him fix it but I would try new things like going out to dinner maybe twice a month or just you and him time...stuff like that.
2007-06-10 16:44:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋