i have no idea what to do my husband is an alcoholic and he goes out binge drinking about twice a week he wants to get better and he tries to get help but keeps falling in the same cycle and he goes to stripclubs which bothers me a lot we have a baby together but whenever he drinks he always treats me bad like if i'm the on eto blame even if things are going really good he'll just disapear and wont come home till the next day i am so tired of this but i dont know what to do?
2007-06-10 15:59:56 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am one to always advise people to try everything possible before leaving a marriage. But in your case, I would have to say leave. It doesn't mean you still can't work on your marriage, but he needs to know that you are serious about fixing the problem and you can not let yourself be a doormat any longer. What he is doing is unacceptable and disrespectful.
I wish you all the best!
2007-06-10 16:07:36 · answer #1 · answered by Lila 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I am divorced, and let me tell you that it is not easy. You have to think of what will happen once you are divorced. Since you have a child one important thing to consider is how will custody of your child be arranged? Having children involved maked things ten times worse. I had a very complicated situation. The biggest overall thing to consider is, is it easier to stay or easier to go? Dont just use your emotions when answering this question though. Think of everything, from the financial standpoint to trying to start dating again and basically starting your life over, becasue once you get a divorce your entire life will change. Divorces are common now a days, so one other thing is make sure that if you do get a divorce to get a really good lawyer, espeshilly if he is going to protest the divorce. I am going through a lot with my ex becasue I am deployed to Iraq and he doesnt want to communicate with me about my daughter. Even though we have been divorced two years, we still are in a relationship due to the joint custody arrangement of our child. Good luck and whatever religion that you may be, I would consider consulting that too. In the Bible there are reasons stated that make a divorce acceptable.
2007-06-10 16:41:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should know what to do when there is a baby involved. Your first thoughts should not be about your husband but it should be about that baby. How much exposure is this child getting into when your husband is around? How healthy is it for the child to be in this environment? Also consider, what are the risks of dealing with this man everytime he gets in this condition. The bigger problem is that you probably keep helping him through this. I bet you deal with everything he does when he's drunk but you also pick up for his mess. Don't leave him to be and you should leave. It may not be for good but at least it's to justify keeping your child out of harms way. Once he realizes that you are doing it for the safety of him and others, maybe he will really wise up. Also, if he realizes that you really are willing to leave, if he can't make it without you then he needs to get things together before he does come back or the cycle will continue. Are you also willing to allow you child to grow up in this environment and have them pick up on the same faults? Who will be to blame then? Consider these factors and remember it's not about you or him, it's about the baby! Good Luck
2007-06-10 16:07:23 · answer #3 · answered by ediabullo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husbands a bastard! Sorry to mention however I lived within the center east and I obvious this at all times so unhappy, The guys simply cross get an additional spouse and the historic spouse has to take delivery of it. I lately broke off a brief time period dating with a man since we obtained at the discipline and he appeared to feel if the spouse can not have youngsters than it's adequate for him to take a moment spouse? By the best way I am Muslim however do not consider in such matters. Yes God say's it's adequate however that's beneath targeted cicumstance, These guys at the present time use there faith to have extra a laugh. They wish to do it for sexual delight. Your a well ladies and I recognise you do not consider in divorce however with a bit of luck you raised your youngsters good ample wherein they'll mean you can stick with them and take him to courtroom for the whole lot! If you reside in an additional nation I do not know what to inform you so sorry I recognise the offerings there aren't a lot you simply have got to manage it. And if you happen to do keep spend such a lot cash any danger you'll get so he can not come up with the money for the brand new spouse. HA HA
2016-09-05 12:08:23 · answer #4 · answered by cromarty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there.. i'm so sad to hear tat.. well, Let's Put Love aside.. Just ask yrself a simple question.. Can u live like this forever? Will u be happier if u leave.. cos maybe u will have a better, healtier life..
Woman always sacrifice themselves bcos of "LOVE".. but nowadays.. no more.. Everyone is selfish..
If u think u are happy with him..with the life now.. den u can choose to stay.. If u r not, and u think tat u will be more happy without him.. den u should know wat's yr choice..
I've come across this situation.. even a worse one.. dragging for years.. finally jumped out of it..
Thinking back.. Reali.. should have let go earlier.. cos i'm much more happier now.. Ask yrself wat u wan.. No one can decide for u.. Only u can help yrself ok... All the BEST!!!
2007-06-10 16:11:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, something has to give, is there anyway he can do a long in-patient treatment program? You deserve to be treated with respect and you deserve to not have the baby grow up seeing the father treat you this way, because they may learn to accept or repeat this behavior later on in life. I hate to say divorce because marriage is supposed to be for life, but it sounds as though this one is shortening yours from all the stress. Make an attempt to get him back into treatment and also both of you into counseling. When he has completed a treatment program accompany him as often as possible to a 12 step program meeting either NA or AA and continue counseling. Best of luck to you, you'll be in my prayers.
2007-06-10 16:10:47 · answer #6 · answered by Mr.G's wife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was going to answer before I even read the details of your question.
If you have to go onto Yahoo Answers to ask a bunch of STRANGERS if you should get divorced or not... the answer is GET DIVORCED.
Alcoholic thing... been there. My guy was going out and wouldn't even be home by the time I would leave for work the next morning. FINALLY I left. Took 10 years. No kids thankfully.
Life has never been better.
2007-06-10 16:05:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
have you tried an intervention?
I am going to be very blunt here.....THERE IS NO TRY! he either does or he doesn't get the help. he has to really want to stop in order for him to. He needs to get honest with himself and everyone else if he is going to sober up and stay sober.
By what you wrote< i don't belive he has hit bottom yet so he has no real reason to get clean. if him being clean is that important to you then you may be forced with giving him the ultimate choice...the alcohol you you and the baby.
it is a tough choice you are going to have to make but only you can make that choice, I just hope all the input tha tpeople give you helps you make the best choice for you and your family.
keep the faith and good luck
2007-06-10 16:21:28 · answer #8 · answered by Lance W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have so been there. I even went to Alanon...is that how you spell it? Eventually, husbands grow out of that crap...but that didn't happen until mine turned 35...after 10 years of marriage and two kids.
I am not sure what made me stay. I seem to think it was because life is busy with two kids, and i've just gone through the motions of it all. and, then I wake up...he's not drinking like that anymore, no strip clubs...but it took years to get here.
If you can hang in there, you should for your kids. But, if you can't...then don't.
I am still a little bitter that he did that to me.... believe me!
2007-06-10 16:12:14 · answer #9 · answered by Allison 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to call a lawyer. Tell them that you fear for yourself and your baby and that you want a divorce.The next time he is going out, have some friends and family members come over so you can grab as much stuff as possible and leave. Leave the divorce papers on the table and your lawyers number because that is the only way he can contact you. He needs to stop drinking and you and your child need to be safe.
2007-06-10 16:06:52 · answer #10 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋