If you truly love your spouse...?

Question

do you honestly and truthfully believe that you would/could cheat on them?

If you do commit adultery, does that show a possibility that you truly don't love them by inflicting that kind of pain on someone?

If your spouse cheated on you, would it make a difference to you if it was a 1 night stand (sexual encounter) or a long standing affair?

Could you look past it & forgive them, even if you knew that it was a long standing affair, or is that unforgiveable?

If you felt like this was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, have children & raise a family with, grow old with, could you do it? Even if there were problems between you, problems that could be fixed (no abuse, violence or prior adultery), would you look outside your marriage for answers?

Do you think that some people commit adultery as a way to irrevocably destroy a marriage?

I know this isn't just 1 question, but your feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for your time

Answer 1

I love my spouse and can not imagine for one moment having a one night stand or a long term affair. First because it is my job to love and honor the man that I pledged myself to. Honor him and our love. If I find my thoughts roaming to what if or looking forward to seeing someone than I would step back before anything could happen and try to figure out what it is that I am really in need of.

I have always felt this way and I am lucky enough to be with someone who feels the same way. I do have friends of the oppposit sex but it isn't a secret. I don't go out with these men but we will talk on the phone or email occationally and I tell Peter about it. When you keep it a secret that is when it becomes a problem.

If he cheated on me for a night it would take years to get over but I would try to stay and trust again. I have two kids. If it was a long term affair I know that I could never get past that. I would have to leave for my own sanity.

I believe that people commit adultery out of selfishness. They don't care about any one but themselves in that moment if it is a one night thing. If it is long term they are trying to have there cake and eat it too. That person would have to go through some serious personal growth with counsiling to attempt it from happening again.

If I did not have children, nothing could make me consider staying.

If you need someone objective to talk to please email me, O.K.?

Answer 2

Wow, a lot of questions.

I truly love my spouse and I honestly and truthfully believe I would not cheat on them by having sex with another person.

I believe someone who commits adultery can love the person they cheated on, but that their love lacks the necessary discipline. I also believe, however, that MOST people who commit adultery are probably no longer in love with the person they cheated on.

If my spouse cheated on me, it would not matter what the context was - our relationship would be over. I would probably be hurt more if it was an affair but might lose more respect for a person who has a one-night stand because that is a lack of discipline.

I would hope as a Christian that I would forgive, but I could not forget or look past it.

Could I do what - forgive or commit adultery? Either way, I think this has been answered in previous questions.

People who are either self-destructive or who have no confidence in their marriage may commit adultery for those reasons, but again I think adultery is more a lack of discipline and a weakening of the love for their spouse.

Hope this helps!

mg

Answer 3

I feel that taking that step and deciding to commit adultery can mean several things in your relationship. Just because you love your spouse doesn't mean that you have to be satisfied with everything that comes with it. What if the love life had died, it's not that you didn't love them but intimacy is important in a relationship. Also, I don't think it would make a difference as to whether it was a one time incident or whether it had been going on for some time. The point is that it happened. Many people have to see inside and figure out what to do from that point on. Some may choose to stay with that person even after the adultery was committed. Some have a very hard time with it and many don't recover from a blow that big. As good as your questions may be and as much as you feel you can find your answer is asking in others, what you really need to do is figure out your spouse. No one can answer these questions for you except for them. We can't predict how they will act or what their actions will be from knowing the news. Good Luck to you!

Answer 4

Yes I truely love my hubby and no I could never cheat on him. I believe it does show that this is not your soul mate cause once you find that person you have eyes for no one else. If my spouse cheated on me no it wouldnt make a difference cheating is cheating. No I wouldnt forgive them and look past them. Regardless of how I felt for this person a life after cheating would not be. You have no life with someone you cant trust if you dont have trust you cant have anything. Trust is the basis of all relationships.

Answer 5

WOW good question...my ex-husband cheated on me...why he did I will never know...he still wont admit it. Why he did it..think it was because he still wanted a party life and no responsibilities. I would never take him back...I had asked him to go to counseling and maybe separate...he refused.

Well I have been divorced for 6 years raising 2 wonderful children....pretty much on my own. You know what we are better off without him. He is a deadbeat dad and he is going no where. Was it worth it....to him....I will never know...to me...hell yes because I love being single raising to great kids/

Answer 6

No, no, no and Yes !
That is the ultimate betrayal ...but yes some people do, do this subconsciously to sabotage their marriages.

Answer 7

They way I look at it is this: there's no way she'll go out looking for a pup when she's got the big dawg at home, yo.