I am a stay at home mom and my husband is the one who brings home the money.We have been together for 9 years married 1 year and have a 3 year old daughter 2gether.My problem is that we rarely spend any time with each other and I miss him very much.He's always working or always sleeping.He sometimes works 16 hour shifts.Don't get me wrong-I APPRECIATE HIM GREATLY! But, I feel that we have become more distant from one another.His hours vary, but a majority of the time he works 3rd shift so he sleeps all morning and afternoon and wakes up when my daughter and i fall 2 sleep.I try and stay up with him thru the night but, its hard bcus our daughter wakes up early in the morning and i am the one who stays up with HER. When my husband sleeps during the afternoon I like to try and wake him up.I give him some coffee, which he loves or our daughter will wake him up.He complains to me and says that I am only thinking about myself.I enjoy being with him very much.He and my daughter are my world.
2007-06-10 15:22:42 · 8 answers · asked by shysinsmile 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know how you feel on both ends of this. I know what is like to miss your hubby but things will get better she is growing everyday and it will get easier for you two. You just feel like you are at a distance but your really not I'm sure he loves you more and more every day. Now about waking him up honey you cant do that. It may be day time but this is his bed time if it is 12 noon for him it is mid night. Do you get my meaning he has to get his sleep I know I have done it for 12 years and my hubby does it now. We work opposit shifts from each other so we may only see each other 30 minutes a day for 3 days in a row and I miss him to but I wouldnt dare wake him up. He needs rest just like I do. If you want to just spend time with him when she takes a nap just go lay with him snuggle up so he know your there and just lay with him for a while he will feel your close ness and you will feel his. Good luck.
2007-06-10 15:40:46 · answer #1 · answered by lyttledarlin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How does he feel about not being able to spend time with the two of you? If he's feeling bad about it, too, ask him what he would like you to do to help him.
Something's got to give somewhere, though. He can't possibly remain mentally or physically healthy if he's working all of the time or if he's getting very little sleep on a regular basis.
My husband works 3rd shift (usually only a regular 8 hour shift, though) and works a part-time delivery job on the weekends. In addition to that, though, he is stay-at-home dad to the kids while I'm working my daytime job, Monday thru Friday. So, he sleeps when I get home from work. And, he gets as much sleep as he can on weekends.
I do make my own sacrifices, too, staying up very late on his nights off of work, even if that means I'll have a sleepy day the next day, so that he & I will have some solid, grown-up time to reconnect after the kids are in bed. And, we try to fit in some good family time on the weekends and on his nights off, too.
Parents and couples need to work as a team, thinking of each other's needs and the family's needs, trying to meet them together.
2007-06-10 16:02:38 · answer #2 · answered by Maureen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WELL FIRST SIT DOWN AND TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND AND TELL HIM HOW YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER FEEL. DO YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WHERE YOU AND HIM CAN TALK OPENLY. YOU HAVE A GOOD MAN KEEP HIM BUT FIND A WAY TO REACH SOME QUALITY TIME TOGETHER AND AS A FAMILY. WHAT IS HIS OFF TIME WHERE HE HAVE TWO BACK TO BACK DAYS OFF. SIT DOWN WITH HIM AND MAKE A PLAN. MAYBE DO DATE NIGHT TWICE A MONTH AND FAMILY TIME AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. DO YALL TAKE A FAMILY VACATION ONCE A YEAR. SOMETIMES JUST ASKING HIM FOR A HOUR OF HIS TIME BEFORE HE GO TO WORK AND YOU SIT TALK TO HIM CATCH HIM UP ON WHAT HE MAY HAVE MISSED. DO THAT MAYBE TWICE DURING THE WEEK. COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY. ONE THING YOU IS A STAY AT HOME MOM LIKE MYSELF. YES YOU WILL FEEL LONELY BUT THERE ARE THINGS YOU CAN OCCUPY YOUR TIME WITH. ALSO MAYBE GO HAVE LUNCH WITH YOUR HUSBAND EVEN IF IT'S ON THIRD SHIFT MAKE PLANS TO DO THAT ONCE A WEEK.KEEP THE LINES OF COMMUNICATION OPEN. GOOD LUCK
2007-06-10 15:45:36 · answer #3 · answered by teresa p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound sweet, yes I know you love your family but do not wake him up. Out of tiredness he will say things he doesn't mean or may not drive [or work] safely. Many times when our kids are little the daddy has to work a lot. Myself and my friends have had to take our little ones to playground, make cookies and keep busy- but we know this is temporary. We all have to follow our roles and do our part in a family. Mabey for now, Sunday can be family day, at least for a few hours in the afternoon. She will pick up on your anxieties. If you are content and relaxed, then at 3 she will be also. She is looking to you mommie, on how to act, or re-act. Meanwhle you can attend a good baptist church, meet other moms, and put her in a group for children her age. My husband works over seas, there's lots of us moms holding down the fort.
2007-06-10 15:44:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard when he's working such long hours, I know he must be tired. Working 3rd shift is hard. I understand that you miss the time that ya'll used to spend together and that you're worried about the distance growing between the two of you. Would it be possible for a relative to keep your daughter for a few days and maybe you and him go away for a long weekend or just lock yourselves in the house and unplug the phone for an "in house" getaway? Tell him that you're not just thinking of yourself, you're thinking of your relationship and you miss the time that the two of you used to spend together.
2007-06-10 15:30:52 · answer #5 · answered by kuntry_guhl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the certainty he permit his sister handle his love existence as quickly as, leaving you, the mummy of his little one, shows he would not truly understand his very own concepts. he's like an empty clean e book waiting for human beings to return alongside and write the story of his existence in it. You the two have households who desire to pull you 2 aside. it truly is going to place your courting below great tension. in case you may wish a wager mutually, then you definately the two ought to ditch your households. while you're making a injury out of your mom than he has to shrink off touch along with his nasty sister, who's additionally attempting to chop up you up each and all of the time (and has already succeeded as quickly as). So in case you desire to grant it yet another danger on your son to understand his father, then lay down the regulation and tell this indecisive guy how issues are going to be. tell him he must be sincere to you, and featuring protecting removed from people who poison his concepts against you. If he would not choose for this, then in basic terms submit to in concepts which you are the solid one, you will consistently be the greater considerable discern on your son's existence, and being in sole administration of your individual destiny is a robust feeling. SO in case you should finally end up being a single Mum, do it, savour it. And submit to in concepts, in spite of happens, your son consistently comes first, till now everyone else. consistently.
2016-12-12 17:32:07 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course your thinking of yourself. You miss the man you love. Does he work weekends also? If not maybe finding more ways on weekends to be together. Your not selfish at all.
2007-06-10 15:29:57 · answer #7 · answered by Krinta 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's more to life than working and sleeping. He's missing out and doesn't get it when you try to tell him.
2007-06-10 15:36:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋