My ex-husband keeps leaving me messages on my cell phone regarding our daughter(?) and us reconciling. Our daughter is 15 and he has sole physical and legal custody of her.
I don't return his phone calls because his messages are nasty and hurtful and our conversations go that way too. Nothing is agreed upon and the conversation goes in circles.
I did leave him a message saying that he can send our daughter to me. I will put in appropriate camps and classes. He got upset about the word camp because she is not doing well in school and needs to be in refresher classes.
Anything I say is used against me....
He has moved away from the state where they live and left her in his mother's care. I live in another state. Now, he has sold the home and keeps contacting me....
I am open to having our daughter come live with me. I will give her the help and support that she needs. I have told him this repeatedly.
I feel sad just hearing his angry voice on the voicemails.
2007-06-10 14:22:26 · 8 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First off, why don't you have your daughter if he doesn't? How did he get that much parental rights to begin with? Physical and legal? Did you have visitation? You shouldn't worry about these "sad" feelings he is causing you- worry about your daughter, she needs you. If you cannot afford a lawyer, contact legal aid in your area. Did he change jurisdiction over your custody case when he moved? You really need to get on top of this, it is almost summer so it would be ideal for your daughter to switch schools now. Obviously he cannot handle her, so he unleashes on you - teenage years are tough- he probably resents that he is doing it on his own (I know you likely never asked for it to be that way...) but you need to disregard his words, and think of your daughter. My ex used be very verbally abusive so I got to the point where I told him we needed a third party for communication, so I know what you mean by not wanting to pick up the phone, but as a parent we need to be reachable. With your daughter at his moms, can't you communicate through the grandma? Best of luck!
2007-06-10 14:34:17 · answer #1 · answered by Carey L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that you don't just take his jerkyness. You could find out his address and pick her up in person. You are never going to see her again if you just let him walk all over you. And about the custody thing, go to court its the best place to settle the custody rights and visitation right. By the way if you let the judge in on the message he's been sending you i don't think her will still be the parent with custody. If you really don't want to hear him, get a new phone block his number. Question: is your daughter happy with her father? I wish you luck-Daniel
2007-06-10 14:33:08 · answer #2 · answered by kurtis231 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never gone through something like this, but the best advice that i think would be is to get a lawyer so you could get custody... based on his "angry voicemails" and the fact that he sent your daughter in the care of his mother, he doesnt show much care for her... maybe that's why he'es always angry because he may be tired of taking care of her on his own and doesnt want to admit it... you should just worry about your daughter and you should gain full custody of her if you can or are allowed to... i wish you the best and i hope i helped some how.
2007-06-10 14:29:38 · answer #3 · answered by Barbie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel going though this for the last 13 years with my ex. My son just turned 16teen. He now lives with his dad. When my son was with me he dosne thing like that. I would write done things he said and date amd time it. Also if I had someone their to see and hear him. Now that my son is with him I do not see him He will not let me. But I write down the time I call and the date and what I say andhave someone around to bemy witness. I have to call him long distance. so their is prove. Make sue you wirte down or keep all the message he had left and date it and time of can. You can use all that when you go to court. Good luck. Hope thing work out and he leaves you alone.
2007-06-10 14:35:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
block his calls, dialogue with him is doing more harm than good. Only speak with your daughter.
If you cant go through with/or feel the temptation to hear from him you have some issues and are as sick as him and may need to address why you are not taking proper steps to not accept his calls.
when i use "sick" and "issues" I am diagnostically speaking.
No meaness meant.
You can control your actions/reaction, no one elses.
2007-06-10 15:26:48 · answer #5 · answered by stephen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not go back to court to try and get at least joint custody?he is obviously using her to get to you. he doesn't even live with her anymore.
2007-06-10 14:36:23 · answer #6 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor girls my heart goes out to you both, what does she want to do, she is 15 I think she has the choice....
2007-06-10 14:34:23 · answer #7 · answered by ShiftyShadyBitch 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sort yourself out ..then maybe..maybe he will start to listen..good luck
2007-06-10 14:32:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋