Can my girlfriend leave and take our daughter from our home?

Question

My girlfriend and I both signed a mortgage for a house about a year ago. Now my girlfriend wants to move out and "find herself" and take our 3 year old daughter with her. I love my girlfriend and my daughter and I don't want to lose my house. I can't stop her from leaving but I want to know if she can just take our daughter. What rights do I have if she's the one who wants to leave?

Answer 1

In most cases the child goes to the mother.

Answer 2

Everyone is right, you need a lawyer NOW. You can file a motion tomorrow that will effectively stop her from leaving the state with your child until a final custody agreement is reached by the court.

And maybe this is a little judgemental, but why on earth did you sign a mortgage with her, and get her pregnant, but didn't take it to the next level by marrying her? I see ALOT of girls on here, who will talk about they've been with their boyfriends for a number of years, they have X number of kids, house, everything's great, except that the boyfriend won't marry them. Most people tell them to pack up and move on, to find someone that WILL marry them. I don't know if this applies to your situation or not, but you might want to consider it.

Answer 3

First of all, are you on the birth certificate or do you have a paternity test to prove that you are the father? If you are DO NOT LET HER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITH YOUR CHILD. Courts immediately grant full "temporary" custody to the parent who has physical custody of the child, and it is extremely difficult for fathers to get custody if they were unable to retain "temporary" custody in the beginning. I would say first try to convince her that it will be easier to "find herself" if she doesn't have a three year old tagging along behind her. Play it up that she could go out all the time by herself and come see your daughter whenever she wants. If that doesn't work, call the police and a lawyer. Tell the police and lawyer that your daughter is proven to be yours (by birth certificate or paternity test) and that your girlfriend is trying to take her away from her home. Explain to the police that your girlfriend doesn't have a stable place outside of your home and that you want your daughter to stay where it is familiar to her and in a place that you know is safe and stable. If you have any proof whatsoever that your girlfriend is unstable [drinking, staying out late, partying, anger issues, proof that she doesn't have anywhere to go, ANYTHING], show it to them. Make sure that you remain calm and reasonable, even though it will be hard.

Once you retain temporary physical custody of your daughter, immediately file paperwork to get official custody. The faster the better. Prove that your girlfriend's new lifestyle of "finding herself" is unstable and unsuitable for children, but that your life is not only set up for your daughter already but stable and safe. Make sure to get as much physical evidence as you can, such as your paystubs vs. your ex's, your mortgage vs. your ex's lack of living arrangements, etc. You will probably want to get a lawyer.

If you aren't proven to be the father or aren't able to get temporary physical custody get a really good lawyer and start the process as fast as you can for filing for custody.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Depends on where you live, but in most states the father has almost no rights whatsoever. Unless you can prove she's an unfit mother, she can take your daughter anywhere she wants. I'd file an injunction against her to keep her from leaving the town you live in and then see about taking her to court for custody. If you have a good job, a home of your own, and will care for your daughter, then the courts should look favorably on your situation. Hope you get her.

Answer 5

You have a few issues that may complicate the situation for you: the two of you are not legally married, a common-law marriage may not be recognized in your state, your name and details may not be on the birth registration as the child's father, etc. Best thing to do is seek legal advice BEFORE she leaves, to see where you stand and what options are available to you. If things get to the point where she physically tries to leave with the child and you try and get the police to stop her, you may find that they will not intervene between the two of you to sort out who the child should be with. However, they may call in social services/child and family services to apprehend the child if the adults can't agree on where the child should be and with whom. Then neither of you may have the final say in what happens to your child. But if she does leave with the child, you may find it difficult to get custody/access later. Get some legal advice sooner rather than later. Good luck!

Answer 6

Unfortunately if she is the biological mother she does have a right to take her. The courts will have to decide on who gets physical custody unless you can decide that on your own. I have been in this situation except I was the one who was leaving but it was for a different reason. It may hurt but sit down and talk to her about it instead of fighting. Maybe you can come up with a mutual plan.

Answer 7

Whether you are married or just dating, you have lots of rights. But, the draw back is you will have to go to court and get a lawyer.

You have a legal right to see and be with your daughter. But like I said, you will have to get a lawyer and file for visitation. And if she leaves, your girlfriend could make you pay child support.

It is simply a question of how far are you willing to go to spend time with your daughter.

Answer 8

You didn't marry her, so your rights aren't as clear-cut, but I do think that if you pay support you can get visitation rights just like a married Dad. She will still have to help pay the mortgage on your house if the loan is in her name, also. So, you may want to sell the house and split the proceeds.

Answer 9

Hi, I'm sorry... You are in a tough position. It depends on the state you live in. I am in Ohio and my stepdaughter broke it off with her live-in boyfriend. They shared an apartment. According to our state, we were told that since they were not married, and there is no "common-law" in this state, he basically had no rights to their child. He has to go to court and fight if he wants to have established visits or custody. He is lucky because she does not really limit him. You really need to see an attorney and find out what your rights are. Maybe if she is "trying to find herself", as you put it, she would rather do it without the burden of child care, costs etc. Regardless, in most cases, you are going to have to pay child support but they will establish paternity first. My grandchild's father's name was on the birth certificate but they still had to establish the blood relationship, but... that again is Ohio, may not apply to where you are. I wish you and her the best. Unfortunately, the little one in this always seems to lose. Good Luck

Answer 10

She can take her with her, but you would be wise to get an attorney NOW and fight for custody. One of you has to have temporary custody, a judge will decide. If you go to court before she leaves you have a chance of getting temporary custody until the final custody hearing is held.

Answer 11

She can take her wherever she pleases... but you need to contact legal aid because in some states, they will allow a parent to take the child across state line without the other parents permission. My cousins ex took their son to Florida (from PA) and couldn't find her. Once she became a Florida resident (6 mths), he was legally not allowed to take his child back to PA without a court order. However, in the state of Georgia, you can't take your child across state line without the permission of the other parent. You need to check with the laws in your state... and if you think she might up and leave... you need to get some kind of temporary custody issued. Good luck.