my wife is selfish?

Question

my wife and I have been married for 6 mths. Together for a year. I luv her heaps but she always wants to spend time with me and she hates me going out with pple. Even when I talk to my parents and sisters, she gets angry at me for not spending any time with her. Then she ends up sleeping on the couch everytime I go out with friends or with other pple. she thinks I dont luv her, but I keep telling her I do. I have a life outside marriage, so how do I tell her that?

Answer 1

Your wife is NOT selfish, you are! You are only married six months and you already want to spend more time with others than with her. Something is wrong with that.

You should be doing things as a couple now. Your old single life is over and you are a married man. You should not exclude your wife. You DO NOT have a life outside of marriage. Marriage is your life now.

Answer 2

You two need to set down and write out some guide rules for your marriage. It is a balance in everything you do. It is give and take. You need to compromise on all things and decide together on your marriage boundaries. You are to be best friends so you want what is best for each other. You are on the same team and it has to be a win win situation. It does sound like she needs to grow up, unless you are spending more time with everyone else and not her. Take a close look and make sure everything in your life is a good balance.

Answer 3

Lay it out for her... this isn't going to get better on its own, but it could definitely get a lot worse.
Would you say she's controlling? Does she want to make all the plans? Do you have to argue every time you want to do something on your own? You're looking at a long, miserable marriage if you don't nip this in the bud.

This sleeping on the couch business is ANOTHER controlling behavior-- she's trying to manipulate you into feeling guilty by sulking!

Sit her down and say that this isn't going to work for you. You have no problem letting her know your plans, but you didn't get married to have a second mother. You're not going to go through drama or feel manipulated just for having a life. Be straight. If she starts crying, remind yourself that these tears are ANOTHER try at manipulation. Advise her to get some counseling if she feels unable to get over this behavior pattern on her own. Let her know that, much as you love her, you won't live this way. Good luck.

Answer 4

What brought your to the point of marriage? Before the wedding did you do everything with her? Are you making her feel like you are there for her? She may be selfish, so may you. The Question is: so what if she is, do you adjust and honor your wedding vows of till death, without the inclusion of "if I feel like it". Or do you leave her feeling like she isn't enough?

Here are a couple of tips that will help her mature and feel secure.

1 include her
2 talk to her and listen, don't try to fix her
3 take time to treat her like your princess
4 be open with her come to her with your problems
5 honesty go talk to her about how you feel, she wants you to be her hero
6 pray with her let her hear you heart for her
7 show it don't just say it words without actions are empty

Answer 5

Remind her that you were an individual before you married here and although you two are married now, it's a healthy thing to have a bit of yourself just for you. You don't have to do everything together all of the time and to do so would just kill the relationship because you get no time to re-energize and be at your best for each other. You need time to do your own thing, to be your own person. Love should not be smothering.

Answer 6

Tell her exactly how you just told us. There are people out there that, once they get into a relationship, they think they can control and manipulate the situation with tears, anger, etc. Sounds like you should have dated your wife a lot longer than just 6 months before marrying her.
She's not only selfish, she's got issues and she's trying to control you. Put an end to either the controlling crap or the marriage, because she's not going to do anything but get worse.
Sorry...not meaning to be harsh...some people out there (like your wife) really need a reality check every now and then.

Answer 7

6 months you are still in the honeymoon phase, she is insecure but as you spend time with her and be attentive to her --she will grow more secure, it takes time. these mean spirited be-atches would be even worse, don't listen to them.
You need to nourish your young marriage, its like a plant just starting to grow, she needs kisses, affection, not just sex, little gifts, roses,compliments, and watch her blossom. She's female. This is the reason wny some young women go for more mature men.

Answer 8

I agree that it is necessary for people to have relationships/friendships with others beside the spouse. I'm not questioning your need to do that.

But, do you ever take her with you when you go out socializing ? If you never do, she could think you're having a relationship with another woman.

And, do you ever just take her out ? You and she should also be going out and doing things together. If you never take her out, but only go out yourself and leave her home, that isn't right, and is upsetting to her.

Another thing would be to encourage her to go out with her friends, and encourage her friends to come to the house to see her or to plan outings with her. This way, if she also has outside interests and activities, then she won't mind your going out so much.

Answer 9

WOW...smells of insecurity and immaturity to me.

She needs to realize that you can't spend 24 hours a day together. If she thinks that is possible, she is living in a fantasy world.

Call some of her friends and tell them to take her out one night a week or so. Maybe that is what she needs.

Do not give in to her whims. If you do, then consider yourself her slave for the remainder of your relationship.

She needs to grow up and realize that you have to have things OUTSIDE of the relationship that you do individually.

Answer 10

Surely she doesn't get jealous when you talk to your parents or sisters. Sounds like your little girl, I'm sorry, I mean your wife, has a serious self esteem problem. What she gone do when you go to work. Take her to a homeless shelter and show her around. Oh I forgot, she won't want you talkin to no one there either.

Peace and Love