2007-06-10 12:20:18 · 19 answers · asked by kitkat10052 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You think about all the fun you'll have when you're single again. Think of all the negative traits of your ex-spouse. Start spending time on yourself because now you only have to worry about yourself (and kids if you have any). Treat yourself to a pedicure or a day at the spa. Spend time with your family and friends. Live your life the way that you weren't able to when you were in the marriage.
2007-06-10 12:23:42 · answer #1 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's a good one. Anger can drive you to do and say things that might bite you in the butt later. Plus you spend so much time and energy being angry you forget what is really important. I just got divorced 2 years ago, and I was married 15 years. I know what you mean. Anger is the 1st emotion you feel and it happens to be the strongest. I have 3 kids. I do not have the time or desire to let my anger take over. My boys need me. They deserve that, and if I let anger win I also let my ex win. I don't want that. Not that it is a contest between who is right and wrong, but it is a matter of WHAT is right and wrong. Anger is not a useful emotion. All it does is bleed people dry.
Try to exchange your anger for a useful emotion such as motivation to be happy and make your life better than it has ever been.
2007-06-10 19:29:21 · answer #2 · answered by TotallylovesTodd! 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To go through a divorce is a very sad and stressful thing, so anger can help you cope or deal with important issues for a while. Anger can help you make decisions and can also make you feel more in control.
But later on, when the divorce is done, you should work on letting go of the rage and anger...because they will harm you in the long run. Anger can literally make you sick--and bitter.
It is like poison, eating you from within....
(So perhaps in the future you could consider going to therapy or having people pray for you so you are rid of it...Good luck.)
2007-06-10 19:27:13 · answer #3 · answered by Nena S 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know this sounds simplistic but exercise really can help. It has helped me a great deal with anger issues. I finally turned for counseling as well but in the past I would simply power walk. I found I was too physically tired to feel the anger. It also has the added benefit that you just keep looking better and better every day! :) And right now with all you are going through that is a pretty awesome bonus.
2007-06-10 21:12:02 · answer #4 · answered by loving_life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're angry because you feel as if you got the short end of the stick, am I right?
We can't always win. Sometimes we have to accept that we lost, and anger is only one of the steps to emotionally healing during a divorce.
Other times I'm sure you are sad, frustrated, or just feeling empty. All these emotions including the anger are healthy. You are trying to learn here, learn the things needed in order not to ever have this situation repeat itself with somebody else. Anger is your friend, always remember that. It is your self-protection.
As long as your anger isn't motivated with thoughts of revenge, you are on the path to healing. If revenge is your goal, then you need to step back and re-examine why you are not accepting your loss.
2007-06-10 19:31:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that's a hard question to answer. you just have to have a lot of self control. it's not going to be easy, and there are going to be times when you just want to explode. but you need to remember, anything you say or do, can be used against you in court. if that's all the motivation you need, use it! however, just remember that it is ending for a reason, and you now need to focus on making you (and any kids, if there are any) as happy as possible. focus on you (and the kids) completely. when you hear negative things from your ex, just know that he is likely saying out of pure anger. dont stoop to that level yourself. stay strong, stay positive, slap a smile on your face and enjoy life. life is too short to stay angry all the time! tomorrow is never promised, so make the best of each and every day and dont let negativity or anger bring you down!
2007-06-10 19:49:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is not fun. There really isn't any way to calm your anger until after the whole mess is done with. My ex and I separated in Oct. 03 and our divorce wasn't finalized til May 05. We fought over everything including our kids. And if you have kids with him/her it will never be absolutely over. I am still fighting in court over child support and other personal issues that have arisen with our daughter. Good Luck.
2007-06-10 19:38:25 · answer #7 · answered by orphan annie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have children, remember they are the smallest victims and can't understand. Try to find ways of releasing the pent up anger without involving the children.
Also remember that you once loved that person. Try to focus on the good times and to remember that you are both adults and should be able to work through the divorce details together.
Best of luck to you.
2007-06-10 19:28:05 · answer #8 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Church, deep breathing, exercise, volunteering, work, go to the gym, run laps, read books, hang out with friends, because anger does not solve anything it just makes matters worse.
2007-06-10 19:53:01 · answer #9 · answered by Dance 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its a faze your are goen threw until u let go of the situation it takes time to get over a divorce there are stages you go threw and the final one is acceptance so gl im goen threw the same thing and im at the acceptance part do things that make you happy and gl to ya jewels
2007-06-10 20:12:40 · answer #10 · answered by jewels 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋