but he still has it made up in his mind. How do I start to seperate myself from a man I love dearly because I don't ever think he'll marry me or is just too scared to do it?
2007-06-10 11:53:29 · 14 answers · asked by o'juiccy1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are an adult and you have to take control of your life. No one is going to live it for you.
If you have already seen your bf IS NOT going to change his mind about marriage, yet you really want it for yourself, then it's time to call it quits. It will be hard, yes, because you love him...But as my grandmother used to say: "IT's better to cry for three months than to cry for an entire lifetime."
You cannot change other people, only yourself. And if you do want to get married and have children, you should do yourself a favor and get out of this relationship NOW. Painful as it is, the truth is there are no guarantees he will ever change, and you will regret wasting time later on.
Good luck, honey. Don't settle....He's being honest with you and you should thank him for this. (How many women waste years because they were lied to or strung along? You are not in such a position....)
2007-06-10 12:00:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's the fact that expectations have risen hugely. in past times it was expected that were going to be difficulties in a marriage but you stayed anyway. Nowdays people don't put up with it so much. Also women in particular have mroe freedom, are financially independent and can lead lives of their own so they divorce their husbands a lot more than they used to. Women just used to put up with so much because there were no other options. There are a lot of pressures on society now of a different nature than previously, particularly financially. Now, often both parents work and raise a family and the couple dont get as much quality time as in previous years. This can impact a marriage in a serious way. We have grown up with the belief that it's an instant society too. We do what feels good. Sometimes we get sick of a partner and believe we're no longer in love so we find someone else, believing that the relationship is over, when in fact it's not love with the new person, it's just that it's something new. People don't seem to work at relationships quite as much. It's a combination of reasons but these are some of the things I see.
2016-05-17 04:24:17 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is Miss-informed. Or chooses to tell you that, because he doesn't want to commit himself to you in marriage. Tell him if he doesn't want to get married you're gone. When he says he doesn't want to marry you pack up your things and leave him. Once he sees that you are serious, he may have some sudden second thoughts. Ignore him and get busy doing something else. Don't be mean just distant and unconcerned. He will come around to find out why you are not insecure anymore. He will become the insecure one. ............If he really loves you and wants to be committed to only you, he will ask you to marry him. If he does all that, don't move back in with him until you two are married.
2007-06-10 12:00:54 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Religious reasons aside...if you're secure in your relationship and your bf is afraid of marriage because it seems they're all doomed, why not just continue to love each other and be a part of each other's lives? Maybe one day he will come around and tie the knot, or you can live like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel have for many years...they're happy, aren't they? Just an idea, if you guys love each other, enjoy each other however you can...
2007-06-10 12:01:25 · answer #4 · answered by Luvitall 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here are the stats- 50% of women never want to get married and of those who want to get married 50% of them get a divorce and 5% of married couples are happy with their relationship this is worse than russian roulete and more painfull than that!! As soon as womens lib is abollished then we will want to get maried again!!
2007-06-10 12:34:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't think your relationship will last (ask him that, specifically), then I'm not sure how to go about changing his mind.
Btw, not all marriages end in divorce. Have you tried introducing him to some couples that are celebrating their 50th or 60th anniversary?
2007-06-10 11:59:44 · answer #6 · answered by musiclover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excuse me...you end up winning? Think that one over a bit and perhaps you will see the humor in this statement, considering the question.
2007-06-10 12:08:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
loving a man is difficult and trying not to love him is even worse. It will take TIME for you to slowly dwendal away from him. Take yourself and get self esteem and move on while you can. If he loved you it wouldn't be an issue. Move on.
2007-06-10 11:57:27 · answer #8 · answered by MOM OF ONE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babe you walk out the door, if he really loves you then he'll be running to you with a ring, if he doesn't then he doesn't deserve to be loved by you.
Good Luck
2007-06-10 11:57:56 · answer #9 · answered by WICCA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quickly. Before you end up stuck trying to change his mind.
2007-06-10 11:55:53 · answer #10 · answered by treasuredwife69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋