Here is my stance. It seems as if women have this "girlfriend rule". It like they feel they are exempt to using discretion from time to time when speaking of the opposite sex in a public setting especially when other women are joining in on the party...I am not a male pig who hates women...I have no bias...I just feel that married men and women should use extreme discretion and maintain the up most respect for their SO when speaking or making comments aloud regarding attraction, special feelings, or vivid details when referencing the opposite sex (especially in my case because I have always practiced what i preached and adamantly expressed to my wife that I would never appreciate if she did that)...It's a thin line to walk when dealing with this issue especially since my wife and I talk about anything including the opposite sex, past relationships, mistakes made with regard to the opposite sex, sexual encounters, anything, but we definitely uphold the up most respect when doing so. I feel as if I was some jealous lousy ****** that she would not feel that she could "walk the line" and cross it from time to time as many men and woman do? any thoughts? am I out of line here?
2007-06-10 11:43:31 · 8 answers · asked by Mr. Intellect 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If your partner says things that make you uncomfortable and you've told her, she should respect your wishes. It's that simple. Even if she thinks you're being too sensitive, she should respect your request to be more discrete.
I'm not a game player, but if she did it again, I would return the favor, just to show her how it feels. Maybe she'd understand.
And no, I don't think you're being out of line, one bit!
2007-06-10 11:49:18 · answer #1 · answered by katydid 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
So you are a gentleman, and you expect your wife to be a lady...and most of the time she is, right?
Alcohol relaxes inhibitions, and people make bad judgment calls when drinking, everyone.
I don't know what you've said to her so far about that evening, or how long ago the evening was, but I think if it was quite recent, then you could repeat some of the things she said and open them up to discussion. She will probably be embarrassed.
Secondly, yes, women sometimes make sexist remarks just like men do. Sometimes it is all in good fun, sparring of a sort, but since she was drinking she obviously crossed the line. It's also a matter of refinement, class, if you will, and I assume that your wife has used taste most of the time or else you would have seen it earlier and wouldn't have married her.
You could also remark that perhaps she shouldn't drink as much as she did the last time you went out. (Isn't it being subtly said with just that remark alone?)
Forgive and forget if this is her worst trait. Most people get superficial when out socially, laughter always seems to be the goal.
2007-06-10 12:09:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ideas would be great if this were a perfect world, but unfortunately this is far from a perfect world and your ideas are in the minority. All you can do is thank God youve got a good woman that you can communicate well with and let the world take care of itself.It really doesnt want to be fixed or perfect. Some things in life are just "givens" with no reason or answer but just are and this probably is one of them. But in the whelm of all the large problems this world has, your idea is small fish amongst them. Your idea or thought is a good one but really has no significant meaning in todays society
2007-06-10 11:52:52 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that it is not a hard and fast rule... but I think that if you have this desire... she should respect your wishes and shut her trap. If you don't want anything to be shared... don't make assumptions. Preface anything of this nature with a simple "Please keep this between us. Agreed." Or "Please do not discuss this in public." If this is not followed... I suggest another issue may be at hand. Relationships are about respect, compromise and cooperation. Seek couples couseling if you don't feel these areas are being respectfully fulfilled.
2007-06-10 11:49:49 · answer #4 · answered by dmarie1314 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I read both posts and think you are not out of line.
If this had happened to me, I'd be VERY upset with my husband..! We have a saying in my country: "La ropa sucia se lava en casa." Roughly translated, it means: " You wash your dirty clothes at home".....
I am sorry to hear this happened , and hope you and your wife can talk it over....I also hope she understands she crossed some boundaries and that she should be more careful in the future.
(( As for this girlfriend of hers, I'd watch her....maybe she's not a true friend.....Some friendships are toxic....)) GOOD LUCK.
2007-06-10 11:53:13 · answer #5 · answered by Nena S 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your premis that we should respect our SO when speaking of them, whether in public or not. It is so rude to talk that way.
2007-06-10 12:12:00 · answer #6 · answered by TotallylovesTodd! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most women are addicted to gossiping about sex they couldn't stop it if they tried!! I'm sorry you have to deal with this but you must accept her for everything or stop seeing women romantically anymore!!!
2007-06-10 12:02:12 · answer #7 · answered by Matthew E 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no.
2007-06-10 11:47:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋