to marry or finish university??

Question

I am 25 and 've been dating with my girl frined for almost three years. I am still going to college and I want to transfer to university, it should be take about 4 more years. My girl friend has asked me many times about our furture and she said that we could marry and have kids while we going to school but i refused that coz she has support from her family for going to school but i don't. I used to asked her if we could work as a full-time, so we support our family together but she said she must graduate university coz she promised her mom. If we get marry then have kids I will take the most responsiblity for the family. I have to stop school then find a full time job and save money but when i think about my furture,,,,what if she leave me?? or what if we divorce?? I will grt notthing, no degree, no money???but pay a lot of money for child support or anything i must pay''''..i really dont know how to decide???

having an ESL backgroud i am sorry for my gammar.

Answer 1

I would say to finish your academic goals first. Obviously that is important to you and she should understand since she also wants to graduate. Trust me marriage changes A LOT about a relationship in so many ways, not bad ways necessarily just makes you feel different, like your priorities change and you don't think about yourself anymore. You think more about them and your family together. Maybe you two should sit down and talk about what you both want out of marriage first before you go thinking about getting married in the first place. Make sure you are on the same page with everything and that you both want this for the same reasons. Then ask her to be patient with you as you reach your goal of a degree. I hope she understands and you two can wait to make such a commitment.

Answer 2

I would definitely finish school first. If it's between getting married and having to quit school, or not getting married and finishing school, I would go for the education. If she really loves you, she will wait until you are both ready for the marriage and financial commitments and she shouldn't be willing to allow you to give up your own dreams. It seems pretty selfish of her to ask you to get married when she knows you will have to quit to go to work. If you can find a way to get married without having to quit school, you might do that, too, but just make sure you make sure you know what you're getting into and what will happen if you have a baby. Any children you may have deserve the benefits that go along with 2 college educated parents. I have 2 kids now and am in college, but it is very difficult and I don't recommend anyone do that unless they KNOW they have a means to finish school and care for the kids, as well. Good luck with your decision.

Answer 3

Well its a tough work out there, be thankful you get to go to college....guess what I am 23 years old have a 6 year old son married the father of my child almost 4 years ago, and never finished high school, he went to school for what he wanted to support his family now i am about to start a cosmetology school full time....It's called team work and doing things together and agreeing on the same thing....you can do it, you can finish school you can get married and have a family....I just keep thinking geez before i am even too 40 my kid will be grown and our of the house....I CANT WAIT!! LOL WELL GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

Answer 4

Marriage is a big comitment, and not everyone has what it needs to make it work.

IMO, people should get married later in life, when they are already financially stable, have savings, have travelled and have had fun. Marrying too young is a mistake...and usually the ones who suffer are the kids.

I think you should be honest with your girlfriend and tell her you want to study and prepare yourself first, before getting into a marriage. If she is not willing to wait for you, it's her choice, and you should respect her decision. Honesty is always the best policy- even if the truth hurts.

Better find out now- that you are both young- than later. Do not make false promises and do not make her wait, either. When you are ready for marriage you will KNOW....

Answer 5

This is actually very easy. Finish school will definitely prevent alot of headaches later on, and will definitely eliminate alot of financial stress associated with marriages and kids. 4 yrs is a real short time to wait compared to a lifetime of marriage so get the schooling out of the way first then worry about the family life later

Answer 6

4 years is a lot, personally I would wait, if the relationship is strong it will work out in the end. Not every one can handle, marriage, mortgage, kids and school. You have an absolute right to worry about the future, like you said to have no money, no degree you'll have to start all over again. Do what your heart tells you, not your friends.

Answer 7

Finish your schooling first. It's hard to be in school while you are having kids. I am speaking from my own experience. I have started my masters program and had to stop because of the birth of my son. I wish that I was done with schoo before getting pregnant. I know that it will be hard to go back if not impossible for awhile. Establish your career first so you can be a better provider for your family.

Answer 8

Ask her to marry you (if you feel she is the one), but set the date for after you finish school. An education is very important these days and hard to support a family if you don't have a degree.

Answer 9

Definitely finish your education. Not only will it provide a better lifestyle for you and your family when you do get married, but you will be able to provide for yourself and the children (if you have any) if a divorce should occur.

Answer 10

Both of you finish school first and get your careers going then think about amrriage and kids. Until then stick to the books.Good Luck